Did something embarrassing at work

You are human. Honestly. None of us are robots and it's not unprofessional to share your personal difficulties with your manager. You haven't done anything wrong.

(I came out of a Police video interview and phoned my senior manager and cried down the phone...I do work in a 'peopley' supportive type job, but still). There is nothing at all wrong with acknowledging you're not having a great time.. it can provide context as well. If one of my team are struggling at home, I want to know because I genuinely care, and also because it gives me context if their work performance is a bit off.

She asked OP, that means she wanted you to tell her! You haven't 'dumped' anything on her, she won't feel the weight of your problems the way you do and will have been hoping to lighten the load for you a little by offering a listening ear, you have nothing to be embarrassed about

I've sobbed down the phone to my extremely understanding manager on more than one occasion. As a manager myself, I would happily listen to someone else's worries and have done many times. Tears and emotions often come into this! I really wouldn't worry - and I hope times get better soon.

Having been a manager this has happened to me a few times and if anything I feel privileged they wanted to share with me. I didn't find it unprofessional at all - sometimes people need to talk and have a good cry. It's important they know if you're going through a tough time as it might impact your work and they'll be more lenient.

Please don't be embarrassed.

What you've demonstrated is that you can focus well on your work when you have a lot going on in your personal life - because you only let it interfere in one meeting with your line manager. Sometimes you need there to be one person at work who does know and understand that that is taking some effort!

I understand why you are feeling the way you are but please, go easy on yourself. I’m a manager of a team of people and part of my job is to be there for them for the work related problems and personal ones. Everyone is human and it sounds like your manager understands that you are human and you needed someone to talk to and for someone to listen. It sounds like she done that which is great. Be kind to yourself. And it sounds like you have a good manager who you can go to in future if you need to or feel comfortable to. I hope you are ok x

Could you go back to your manager and explain that you feel uncomfortable about crying in front of her? She might be wondering whether she has upset you further in some way if you are being a bit ‘off’ with her. It could be an opportunity to update her on your situation, if that is appropriate, but I am sure she will be fine about it all.

💐

Another for ‘don’t worry about it’, many of us have been in same situation! Honestly!

You’re being tough on yourself…. Don’t forget the ‘ new thing ‘ is …. ‘ bring your whole self to work!’ ✔️

I really wouldn't worry about this. I "trauma-dumped" (good word!) on an almost complete stranger the other day. If anything it could help you. At least your boss will be mindful not to overload you with work at this time.

Hi @helpmeohgod
Please don't feel embarrassed at all.
I've told things to my company director who found me crying (i was going through a really bad time in my personal life). It was in that moment that it felt good to get it out. Please just focus on yourself and i hope what you're going through gets better xx

Nothing new to add, just agreeing with the PPs. I manage a large team, have had people cry to me, and a few weeks ago I cried in front of my own boss. He was kind and took pressure off me for a few weeks. All v human.

Op you did nothing wrong. You are lucky to have such a kind and supportive boss. Mine is very much like that too. I don't think I've cried in front of her but I've offloaded to her and asked her opinion for something as she's been through similar to me. I'm sure my colleagues have told her about my breakdown in the office though and she's very good at knowing when we need support.

In fact, you posting this has given me the courage to go to her about something pretty important that's happening in my personal life that is quite likely to affect my work so thank you

I absolutely do not want to know the details though. I am not a psychologist and don’t want to be dumped on

@BonnieBe Jesus Christ are you human? The op didn’t plan to tell everything it just came out. Life happens

omg you’ve done nothing to be worried or ashamed about. You are a human - working with other humans and the world would be a better place if we were more open with one another. Try not to worry about it!

I've had several crying colleagues in my office over the years. It's really OK. We're all people.

YADNBU you've done nothing wrong. Hope you're okay x

I was a manager for 20 years. I knew so much about people’s personal lives. I had a number of people, including very stoic ones break down over all sorts of things. As a manager, you listen, you check in, you keep their confidence and then you let it go. An employee doesn’t leave their life at the door, and having some understanding of challenges helps a manager to support them in the workplace. Try not to be embarrassed - there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. When you’re in a better place (and if it’s warranted) consider a brief note/email to the manager saying thanks for listening. It’s pretty wonderful to know you helped a workmate!

I am really sorry OP for your situation. I am going against the grain though. As a manager i think it’s important to be aware of people se going through something which will affect work in their personally life and I want to support and accommodate as much as I can. I absolutely do not want to know the details though. I am not a psychologist and don’t want to be dumped on.

I cried on my boss this week too as having a stressful time at home. Not embarrassed at all. Never would be. It’s just a human emotion. It doesn’t have to be kept hidden

Really, don’t worry about it. I once walked across the office floor with my skirt tucked into my knickers and it was my (male) boss that pointed it out 😂😂

Your attitude about keeping it all separate is a bit unhealthy, it is actually a strength to recognise when you need to prioritize and take a break.

Please don't worry OP. My Mum went into a home during covid and it was incredibly stressful and traumatic. I was trying to hold everything together and one day, I just broke down to a colleague. I think I scared her a bit and she told my manager! I was mortified at the time but she was so supportive, as were all my bosses. They suggested I took some time off, as much as I needed, and I will be forever grateful to my manger for how she helped me. You are only human and I bet you at some point in someone's career, they will get upset/breakdown about a personal problem. I hope you feel better soon. Take care 💐

You are a human being, not just an employee.
I think a lot of us have done this. Just last week, my colleague walked through the office sobbing and went into the office. All personal problems she was having at home. Nobody thought any less of her, of course not.
Don't be so hard on yourself x

I am a boss. I have been both you in the situation and the boss. I promise you it's OK. Sending hugs