'Increase' in ASD/ADHD

So what is your authority to decide who is and isn't genuinely affected by ASD? You don't see inside Tommy's head, you don't understand the difficulties he may face.
You supposedly haven't been through terror someone may feel when unexpected phone call comes for which you didn't have time to emotionally prepare. You haven't been bullied at work all through your 20s because your direct communications have been taken as rude by work colleagues and management. You haven't felt the stress when someone tells you at the last minute that they booked a weekend trip abroad or that you have to move house with JUST two months notice because society thinks everyone should be able to be spontaneous and two months notice is enough for anyone to adjust. You haven't wondered why your brain gets stuck on a single topic and cannot let it go (unlike someone I know who once had a fleeting thought that his mum is going to die which developed into obsession leading to mental breakdown and 3 years worth of therapy to become "unstuck").
What you are saying in your post is that ASD is only a valid concern when it inconveniences other people such as smearing or violence. Nothing about the person's own experience. And it is very much is belittling.

In my post I literally said I think diagnosis should be reserved for the people whose lives are genuinely affected or hindered by the condition. The example I gave was one of those. All of the examples you've given are also of people whose lives would be genuinely affected/hindered by it. Which is exactly my point, those who have a couple of traits don't need to seek a diagnosis, like my child, someone else mentioned similarities with their child above etc. A staggering amount of people will have traits but not to a level it affects their lives and that's where I think the over diagnosis/self diagnosis lies.

So rather than replying, you’ve just gone back and edited your post. 🤷🏻 I responded because you quoted me… if you’re going to change your earlier posts to say something different there’s not really much point is there. V odd.

15-20 years ago loads of people were claiming to have bipolar, or that their kid did.

Some actually did. They only joined the dots once bipolar (and how it can present) was more widely known about. Some didn’t. They will have moved on to whatever the next popular trendy thing to have is. It was Tourette’s for a bit. Then multiple personality disorder. For a minute it was Schizophrenia, which surprised me. I’m wondering if self diagnosis of Cluster B disorders will be next. It was all “self diagnosis is VALID” for a while which let all sorts of people make all sorts of claims, with varying degrees of evidence. But that may have died back a little due to shift in the cultural waters.

I was diagnosed with ADHD about 7 years ago. I taught kids with the diagnosis for donkey’s years and utterly failed to recognise the very obvious traits I had in common. So I talked about ADHD rather a lot once I knew I had it.

I reckon it’s fairly normal human behaviour to be quite vocal about it and bring it up twenty times a day after recent diagnosis. Personally I was so relieved I had a thing beyond “being crap at humaning” I got totally overexcited and one track minded. But it wears off. So some off what you are seeing may just be temporary post diagnosis uptick in mention-itus. In a world where SM has really changed the volume of communication we anre exposed to each day it may just seem like an awful lot more than we were used to hearing back in the day.

So what is your authority to decide who is and isn't genuinely affected by ASD? You don't see inside Tommy's head, you don't understand the difficulties he may face.
You supposedly haven't been through terror someone may feel when unexpected phone call comes for which you didn't have time to emotionally prepare. You haven't been bullied at work all through your 20s because your direct communications have been taken as rude by work colleagues and management. You haven't felt the stress when someone tells you at the last minute that they booked a weekend trip abroad or that you have to move house with JUST two months notice because society thinks everyone should be able to be spontaneous and two months notice is enough for anyone to adjust. You haven't wondered why your brain gets stuck on a single topic and cannot let it go (unlike someone I know who once had a fleeting thought that his mum is going to die which developed into obsession leading to mental breakdown and 3 years worth of therapy to become "unstuck").
What you are saying in your post is that ASD is only a valid concern when it inconveniences other people such as smearing or violence. Nothing about the person's own experience. And it is very much is belittling.

Its really difficult. There are three groups as I see it

• people with a diagnosis from a well respected clinic/NHS
• people who are trying to get a referral for diagnosis who suspect they/their child might be ND (and they probably have a point) who may have been to a private clinic etc
• people who want to claim a ND condition as an identity for themselves or their child(ren) and there may or may not be anything in it

The difficulty is telling, on the face of it, who is in the second group and who in the third. The people in group 2 might really be struggling and they're getting no help and they're coming to be seen as crackpots on top of everything else. The group 3 people I see as basically milking out the sympathy that should be going to group 2. Not that the people in group 3 aren't struggling, but maybe they are struggling more generally to find how they fit in in the world and are trying on different diagnoses to see if they fit.
It's very frustrating to see this happening though as the people who really are profoundly affected by these conditions had to fight long and hard to get them recognised and now there is a danger that that recognition gets rolled back or diluted by all those people who are fascinated by their inability to chop garlic or their dislike of small talk or whatever.

How do you suppose this can be faked? and why? My child has severe ASD/severe learning difficulties, special school for complex needs students, will never be independent. how on earth would we fake this and why?

The masses of people self-diagnosing ASD/ADHD don't necessarily have Munchausens. The problem is nearly everybody has at least a couple of traits of ASD/ADHD, so they may genuinely believe they have the condition. The problem is that many of them then aren't bothering to actually get their self-diagnosis confirmed or denied but go around saying they're #ActuallyAutistic or their children's behaviour can't be managed because they have ADHD or whatever.

Autism is autism. It doesn’t matter if you can ‘tell’ by sight or not. And on glance you wouldn’t be able to ‘tell’ either of my children are autistic. My older son has ASD and adhd without a learning disability, he is still very much emotionally and socially delayed. Just because he has a higher level of communication doesn’t undermine how difficult he finds life every day. Busy environments like school are huge triggers and he often needs calming time. But because he doesn’t have a learning disability there is far less care and understanding for his needs. It’s no wonder kids like him are far more likely to end up with MH issues.

Your post is ridiculous. Who are you cross at? The people discussing whether people seeking ADHD diagnoses are faking it? Or people with Munchausens & MbP generally?

@Gerrataere

Thats the thing though. If a 6 year old has the cognitive ability of a 2 year old then it really is fairly obvious that the child is a genuine case. You can tell the difference. An incredibly bright, manipulative 6 year old running adults riot because he has no boundaries really is a very different thing. In practice you can spot it a mile off.

They run absolutely riot, there's never been any boundaries, they do what they want, when they want.

There would be people who saw or heard me describe my nearly 6 year old and believe the same. He is globally delayed with his autism, he is cognitively around 24 months old (this is from numerous assessments). People see a 6 year old with poor behaviour control and emotional regulation, however he is (and may well be forever) 2 years old. So my parenting and expectations have to be of a 2 year old no matter how it looks to strangers or ignorant older folk who simply don’t ‘get’ ASD and what it actually entails. Which often is far more than the misbehaviour in the eyes of society.

I’ve learned to nod and smile at the ‘wasn’t a thing in my day, kids knew discipline!’ type of exhausting person though. Autism certainly was a ‘thing’ at least 30 years ago but just buried under the carpet.

Your post is unreasonable and kind of crass

Lots of people do have traits associated with ADHD, because it’s the same stuff that is cultivated by phones and scrolling through SM. Many traits are also quite common, but the distinction is in the degree to which they affect an individual (eg time blindness, procrastination).

This is why medical assessment is offered, to determine if an individual does have one of these things. Incorrect diagnoses by private companies is clearly an issue at the mo.

You might find the -accusation- of people faking frustrating, but relabelling it as Munchhausens isn’t helpful. I think you’re aiming your frustration at the wrong target.

Talking to a friend the other day, he was having a good grouse about his sister depending on their parents for everything and how she really needs to be more responsible and less chaotic, given that her son has quite severe special needs (global delay, deafness, but also ASD and ADHD) and has so many appointments. He's a nice man but was grumpy that she wasn't 'pulling herself together' and 'coping like an adult' with his little nephew.

After a bit, I said, 'Will, did you realise some of these things run in families? Has she always been like this and could she have some of Jack's problems herself?' He looked thoroughly taken aback -- he's only ever thought of ADHD as a thing that affected 'modern kids', and any problems his sister had were just her own fault for being Emma, so to speak.

Why do you need to figure it out if it doesn't concern you?

People constantly told me I 'gave in' to my child who was school refusing and that I wasn't firm enough with boundaries. They had no clue. If it comes to the point that the child is going to harm themselves or others if they are made to do something they can't do it is not soft parenting it is meeting a child's needs.

The word resilience was used a lot. How could a child be resilient if they were not made to do things they can't do? ( Notice I use the word can't not won't). Let me tell you you don't make a person resilient by forcing them to do things they can't do for whatever reason, you break them.

My DS who I was so dreadfully weak and parented with no boundaries in the eyes of some is now the most resilient, hard working, kind and caring young person I know and we have a great relationship. When he was going through his worst time he was violent to me and trying to kill himself and breaking things like TVs.

I don't think he'd be alive now if I'd done conventional parenting. If he was alive he would have been criminalised.

No one knows what it is like to parent a struggling autistic child unless they go through it , and even then it is limited to their own experience.

If you haven't experienced it you have literally no right to judge.

Lots more children are “stressed” and explosive which then leads to parents worrying about ASD/ADHD and when they cannot cope with their kids at home, they seek a diagnosis. People are underestimating the impact of Covid, long hours in early childcare, pressure at school from an early age in a noisy environment, not enough time in nature and just playing/being bored. In addition, for young children to be around stressed adult a lot of the time also has a huge impact. Young kids are hugely dependent on the temperament and moods of the adults around them, including at school and in nursery settings!

So far more young kids are stressed and impatient which can present as ASD/ADHD to a parent and often even to teachers. Also screens, the constant stimulation etc. Kids are not getting enough down time, peace, quiet, time in nature etc. Constant fight and flight is messing with behaviour and impulse control. If adults are stressed and struggling mentally, it affects the kids too.

And I forgot diet as well. High sugar diet and constant stimulation.
The good news is educators from early settings through primary to secondary are starting to focus more and more on mental health, talking to children about diet etc

Munchausens is correlated with narcissism and narcissism really has exploded in recent years. It’s all me, me, me. There are a group of parents who are hell bent on getting their child some sort of diagnosis to feed their entitlement or excuse their lazy parenting with zero boundaries. It isn’t that hard to pay for a private diagnosis either, not if you’re determined.

Disclaimer: Of course there are children and young people with autism and adhd but I don’t believe for one moment the “explosion of it all”.

Yes that could be the case as you say… but could also be the case that the autism created the parenting. Lots of children with ASD / ADHD are very challenging and parents are at a loss with no support. Sometimes this leads to giving in so as to not have meltdowns and then this spirals into no boundaries.
Tricky to figure out which it is until the child is older sometimes

Absolutely this- that is part of what I was trying to say but you have worded it much better.
My son also has some ADHD traits. I’ve also been told to get him assess by a well meaning friend but he’s happy in mainstream and doing really well. Maybe on the spectrum but very low down. I think almost everyone is on the spectrum if you look hard enough!

Goodness. It's so very hard to get a diagnosis. It was only recently in 2017 that female diagnosis was properly researched and it was realised that autism in females can present slightly differently to males.

I'm hoping the increase in diagnosing might help all those poor women and girls who heavily masked and then burnt out. Usually diagnosed with bi-polar, depression, anxiety, and all other mental health issues. When what they actually had was autism which is developmental. Undiagnosed autism can cause mental health issues because the issues faced are not being addressed correctly.

I'm at relived that appropriate diagnosis is being made now. It's a bit late but at least it's balanced now.

Suicide in people with autism is high. I suspect in undiagnosed autism it will be even higher.

More diagnosis, more support, more education, more equal opportunities, more recognition. More is needed, not less.

I think the issue comes from situations like this...

...a family member of mine has 4 children. She says that all of them have ASD or ADHD. I have seen how these children are parented - they aren't. They run absolutely riot, there's never been any boundaries, they do what they want, when they want. When they started school and these issues were brought to a head, suddenly, they all had something like ADHD. This has never been diagnosed and I can say with a some confidence that it is actually the lack of parenting that has created their behaviour.

You realise there's a middle ground between just lining up cars and the more severe autism you describe? You can be relatively "high functioning" and still struggling.