Embarrassed myself at work

Phillipson · 2023-09-12T06:32:05+00:00

So yesterday I had a manic day at work and essentially had to keep leaving a meeting with my manager to deal with things cropping up. I was a bit flustered. Ended up making sloppy mistakes. Can tell manager was annoyed. Aibu to feel anxious about this? I feel like I might get pulled up in a formal meeting to explain my actions. Nothing serious happened but it was a series of bad judgment calls.

Original poster

Phillipson · 13/09/2023 23:15

I don’t want to out myself but this was also the first time I met this manager too, so maybe I should have prioritised him a bit more.

basically on reflection:
-I could have batted away some of my tasks as to minimise disruption
-i could have got someone to cover my usual duties & put an out of office on
-I could have got to the office earlier to get the catch ups etc out of the way earlier
-My manager could have steered that 5 hour meeting a bit more, it was practically pointless and didn’t really aid with the work the next day. Hard to prioritise that nothingness when high level emails are coming through requiring an urgent response. Lunch was even at the desk, no proper breaks built in
-we both could have focused on building rapport more

by silly mistakes maybe I should have said bad judgement calls, potentially leading to not the best first impression. Eg the fire alarm went off whilst I was off-site with my previous colleagues so he probably could have done with someone guiding him etc

OP posts:

ScarletWitchM · 13/09/2023 21:50

Depends how your manager is, but I would ask my manager for some 121 time and review what happened - if you take the lead then you can control it more.
say that you feel that you feel upset about how the day was and that you had to keep leaving to deal with issues, be honest and say you’re not happy about how you dealt with it and that might help the manager know your feelings.
explain what happened and discuss how you dealt with it and what you could do in future to prevent it happening again.
if you have a good manger they should appreciate your candour and support you

angelikacpickles · 13/09/2023 21:43

Phillipson · 12/09/2023 08:22

Honestly a bit of both! In the space of 5 hours:

I arrived a few minutes late, though I wasn’t sure if my manager made it on site or not so that was more of a miscommunication. They told me they were at a shop so would be late coming over, but didn’t reply to my message. I was nearby saying hello to colleagues then joined him
I left to take 1 phone call
Someone knocked on the door to speak to me and I went outside and spoke to them

Edited

How on earth is this anything other than completely normal workplace interactions? What was embarrassing about it? What do you feel you should have done differently?

tianabiscuit · 13/09/2023 21:39

Nah, that's stuff happening, not embarrassing yourself.

People embarrassing themselves at work that I have witnessed includes a hangover bad enough that the person threw up over their desk and sitting on the floor of the office sobbing hysterically and screaming that the canteen didn't put any ketchup on your bacon roll until somebody stomped of to get some just to shut the princess up.

maybebluth · 13/09/2023 21:30

If it helps, I fondly remember a thread on here years ago where the OP had accidentally cupped a colleagues balls when trying to shake hands. Could be worse!

I also remember a colleague on forwarding me an email about a particularly annoying client saying "can you deal with this miserable old cow" and he accidentally copied her in. Hilarious!

AlrightThen · 12/09/2023 20:30

It depends on your manager.

LoobyDop · 12/09/2023 10:26

I don’t want to be unkind saying this, but honestly, the level of dramatisation and catastrophising you are applying to some very minor events is a bit ridiculous, and if I were your manager I would be more irritated by that than by the actual interruptions. Did you add to the drama at the time by flapping for an extra fifteen minutes after you were interrupted? If your role genuinely needs you to respond to urgent situations, then you need to be a lot calmer. And if it doesn’t, you need to prioritise what is important, which isn’t always the same as what is unfolding noisily in front of you.

FloatyBoaty · 12/09/2023 10:07

I’ve just seen the updates from OP.

take back my previous advice (which would stand if it really had been manic) and suggest OP takes a deep breath and forgets about it. Literally nothing to worry about.

Bellaboo01 · 12/09/2023 09:50

I'm sure all will be fine today and you are just overthinking it.

Was it personal things that kept cropping up? In that case then i can understand them getting frustrated if you had to keep leaving the meeting.

But, also 5 hours straight for a meeting is unreasonable. Did you get lunch/breaks etc?

ManateeFair · 12/09/2023 09:45

Phillipson · 12/09/2023 08:22

Honestly a bit of both! In the space of 5 hours:

I arrived a few minutes late, though I wasn’t sure if my manager made it on site or not so that was more of a miscommunication. They told me they were at a shop so would be late coming over, but didn’t reply to my message. I was nearby saying hello to colleagues then joined him
I left to take 1 phone call
Someone knocked on the door to speak to me and I went outside and spoke to them

Edited

Is that all?!

You're massively overreacting.

Canisaysomething · 12/09/2023 09:26

"Embarrassing yourself at work" is like walking around with your skirt tucked in your pants or accidentally calling your boss "mum". Doing work at work is just work, it isn't embarrassing. If your manager wants to critique how you work then let them, that's also just standard work stuff.

Canisaysomething · 12/09/2023 09:23

I honestly can't see what you did wrong here at all.

andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow · 12/09/2023 08:58

Phillipson · 12/09/2023 08:22

Honestly a bit of both! In the space of 5 hours:

I arrived a few minutes late, though I wasn’t sure if my manager made it on site or not so that was more of a miscommunication. They told me they were at a shop so would be late coming over, but didn’t reply to my message. I was nearby saying hello to colleagues then joined him
I left to take 1 phone call
Someone knocked on the door to speak to me and I went outside and spoke to them

Edited

You are massively overthinking this 🙈

Janieforever · 12/09/2023 08:57

Tombero · 12/09/2023 08:53

This seems a good approach.

Show quote history

It would be, but since the op has said she simply took one call and spoke to someone who knocked then there is no issue and nothing should be said.

I’ve no idea why she wrote she had to keep leaving and it was manic.

Tombero · 12/09/2023 08:53

FloatyBoaty · 12/09/2023 07:48

I’d turn this around. I’d go in today and speak to your manager. It doesn’t need to be and shouldn’t be combative, but I’d say something like:

“I was thinking about it last night, and long brainstorming sessions like yesterday don’t really work without cover do they! It certainly made me feel very stressed/concerned about quality control of tasks/ put me in a position where I couldn’t do my best work- and I don’t think that was fair. I think for next time it would be really beneficial for everyone if we worked out a cover system (or put in a midway formalized “break” to deal with anything urgent if you’re in a time sensitive response environment etc)”

and see what they say. Ultimately you were set up to fail, if they put you in a 5 hour meeting, didn’t arrange or have flex in the team for cover or contingency, and nothing could wait.

This seems a good approach.

MammaTo · 12/09/2023 08:44

Totally over reacting, you’ll be fine!

Fallenangelofthenorth · 12/09/2023 08:28

Phillipson · 12/09/2023 08:22

Honestly a bit of both! In the space of 5 hours:

I arrived a few minutes late, though I wasn’t sure if my manager made it on site or not so that was more of a miscommunication. They told me they were at a shop so would be late coming over, but didn’t reply to my message. I was nearby saying hello to colleagues then joined him
I left to take 1 phone call
Someone knocked on the door to speak to me and I went outside and spoke to them

Edited

So in the space of 5 hours, you took out maybe 15 minutes? I do think you're catastrophising. I totally sympathise as I have a tendency to do the same.

I like @NeedToChangeName advice above about thinking "will this matter in a year".

Janieforever · 12/09/2023 08:28

Phillipson · 12/09/2023 08:22

Honestly a bit of both! In the space of 5 hours:

I arrived a few minutes late, though I wasn’t sure if my manager made it on site or not so that was more of a miscommunication. They told me they were at a shop so would be late coming over, but didn’t reply to my message. I was nearby saying hello to colleagues then joined him
I left to take 1 phone call
Someone knocked on the door to speak to me and I went outside and spoke to them

Edited

So only two things then?

Doggymummar · 12/09/2023 08:25

I would suggest these meetings are held off-site in future and a proper cover system put in place.

Original poster

Phillipson · 12/09/2023 08:22

Honestly a bit of both! In the space of 5 hours:

I arrived a few minutes late, though I wasn’t sure if my manager made it on site or not so that was more of a miscommunication. They told me they were at a shop so would be late coming over, but didn’t reply to my message. I was nearby saying hello to colleagues then joined him
I left to take 1 phone call
Someone knocked on the door to speak to me and I went outside and spoke to them

OP posts:

Janieforever · 12/09/2023 08:20

Were they genuinely things that could not wait and you had to leave the meeting to deal with? There was no way to agree a break for 30 mins half way through to be able to deal with urgent issues?

this is really key, were the things so urgent they couldn’t wait or be dealt with my someone else, thus this needed to be explained to the manager, or were you just rushing out for stuff that could wait.

InterFactual · 12/09/2023 08:13

Good luck today OP, keep your cool and remember it's only work. We all make mistakes sometimes and it doesn't sound like yours cost anything or had a serious impact. If anything you're guilty of being too helpful! Hold your head up high and be proud that your biggest flaw is actually a positive thing in the right context.

Original poster

Phillipson · 12/09/2023 08:08

Felt a bit overwhelmed so I ended up calling my employee assistance line - they thought what happened isn’t a big deal and I’m overthinking it…

I’m going to head into work shortly and see what my manager does, before raising anything. I hope the employee assistance advisor is right and that my manager doesn’t think it’s as serious as I did earlier

OP posts:

NeedToChangeName · 12/09/2023 07:54

I'm old enough to have a sense of perspective. So many things like this aren't as bad as they feel at the time

A good yardstick is "will this matter in a year's time?"

I suggest you approach your manager with suggestions of how to avoid scenario happening again (or ask their advice), rather than complaining or making excuses. I'm sure it'll all be fine

andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow · 12/09/2023 07:53

What were the things that kept cropping up?

Did your manager expect you have to put cover in place for your meeting maybe?