To think comments like this are not supportive?

Yes.

I read it that for years OP hasn't dealt with her weight/health issues. Her DP has had to watch her health decline, listen to her complaining, see how upset she becomes, work round restrictions of things she can no longer do, in turn meaning he can no longer do those things unless he finds someone else to do so... Which is not easy. Especially when it doesn't have to be the case. But that's all down to OP.

I can imagine after years of this, it's bloody tough. The partner is totally helpless to do anything, but hugely impacted by it.

Context is everything. If after years, OP has finally started on a proper diet, and the DP is so relieved (for both of them) and by day 3, OP is munching on a sharing bar of chocolate, I can see exactly how the DP feels. OP needs to take accountability that her choices don't just affect her.

If the weight issues have going on for many years, how much "support" would actually make you deal with it?

My guess is person A is the OP and person B is their DP.

Also is person b a mother or a partner? I read as mother others thinkmpartner

In that case person b should be quiet unless they want person a to constantly nag at them for whatever life upgrades they haven't got round to yet.

'Haven't got your roots done yet?' 'Gardens still looking a mess why haven't you loeed that lawn' 'have you paid off all your debts yet? Shouldn't have bough that then!' Etc etc

This was my thought.

I have a friend who complains extensively every time I speak to her. "I'm so fat. My clothes look awful. I'm fatter than I was last month. Nothing fits. I can't date I'm too fat. I'm so hot all the time. Look how fat I am. I can't come out, I'm too fat to look nice and I'll feel upset. I used to be so pretty. My knees hurt".

We never see each other because she makes excuses that she'll have to buy a new outfit to come out for dinner/bar/movies as nothing apparently fits. If I go to hers it's just non stop moaning about her weight. She doesn't talk about anything else. It's exhausting listening to her, but I nod along and tell her she's beautiful regardless of weight. She scoffs at me, and it's actually quite rude the way she does so.

Something she frequently says is that she needs to exercise, always telling me about ten gym offers she's seen. A few months ago, when I'd called her up because I had some good news to share, she barely acknowledged and immediately began reeling off more gym offers, I simply said "which one are you going to join then?" and she instantly took umbrage. I figured the can of worms was open now, so also asked "have you tried a calorie counter, or a food diary?"

I was told how unkind I was, as clearly I thought she was fat!

I know this is an extreme version, but it's honestly so exhausting listening to someone talk about how affected they are by their weight, huffing how hot they are, so much so, it brings the whole mood down constantly. If you bring this around another person all the time, and it negatively impacts them, then you can't chastise them for discussing it with you in return.

It’s frustrating when someone very overweight who wants & needs to lose weight, chooses to go & buy crap, but then continues to moan about their size.

Can A tell B what they do find helpful eg minding kids while they workout, not eating takeaways in front of them.
Weighing daily isn’t recommended.
If A’s weight is affecting B or the children eg B having to pick up chores as A can’t or can’t have family days out etc or costing money eg expensive life insurance, 2 seats on plane, then I do think it’s something A and B need to talk about.

Person B sounds like a bit of an arsehole to be honest

Person B is not supportive. Person B is, in fact, being positively harmful. Weigh yourself everyday ? Be on a constant diet? These are not good ways to go about losing weight. Person B is suggesting unhealthy behaviours.

Definitely not supportive as I believe there is evidence that shaming people about their eating/weight is very counterproductive.
I do agree with PP that if it's a married couple though then they should be able to discuss when there's a health issue that affects their life as a couple (but sensitively)

From the first post alone B is not supportive because it says they know A does not find these comments supportive yet still says them. Then your further posts just make B sound quite unpleasant actually

@Weightlosswally person B needs to stop being a prick and thinking it's acceptable to speak like that to person A- there are ways and means of discussing this if the weight is a problem, their approach is not the one

Absolutely this.
Person B needs to stay quiet

Person B isn’t being very kind, but I’d imagine it’s very difficult to watch someone you live with damage themselves with food on a daily basis. On the whole I think married couples should be able to talk about things like this because one person being significantly overweight has an effect on both of them.

Does person A being overweight affect person B's life negatively?

It can be draining living with someone who sucks the joy out of going on holiday, going to a party, days out etc by going on about their weight/not having anything to wear and things like that.

And very frustrating when they can't or won't change it.

Very torn op, dh lost a huge amount of weight last year. In the middle of this he broke the diet but for days and in a massive way. I felt like the biggest cow but started saying are you thinking about going back to the healthy eating thing etc. he did after a while and I don’t know if it was me but from the outside it would look like I was controlling, but he’d been so happy with the weight loss, was getting hugely fit and had energy again etc etc, then the few weeks he went on a blow out he was falling asleep whenever he had the chance, was miserable as he ate takeaways saying it was disgusting etc etc

So all the more reason to leave Person A be for now until they can cope with supportive comments.
Maybe when Person A is feeling better suggest a proper regime of WW or something similar. 🤔

Divorce Person B and rid yourself of 12-20 stone of excess weight in an instant.

If person A has asked for support to lose weight, talks about it a lot or is very unhealthy to the point that couple or family life is compromised, then I think B gets to have a say.

If DP gained three stone and was always starting diets, and asked me to be supportive, or bought tons of healthy food when we went shopping, I think I'd comment if he unnecessarily bought and ate chocolate especially if it was a sharing bar.

If A is happy with their weight and B is unaffected by it then they shouldn't be commenting.

Wait a minute, did person A buy the chocolate expressly for person B? Or did they buy it for themselves / the house in general?

For example, I wouldn’t expect my partner to not buy chocolate for himself or his kids just because I’m on a diet.

Is person A on a diet?
Has she asked for help?

I do have a friend who has asked everyone to keep her on track of her diet.
I don’t say anything but our other friend does and then the friend on the diet looks upset and then ends up scoffing a big bar of chocolate because she’s upset and she’s not allowed herself the one quality street she was offered.

If she’s not on a diet and hasn’t asked for persons B advice then she needs to bluntly tell her to stay out of it.

Restricting yourself too much is not going to make you lose weight.

Can't you just say which one you are and who the pther person is to you?

Why make it so much harder

Person b needs to accept it's nothing to do with them and not say anything ever again. I know some very obese people and I'd never dream of passing comment, how rude and cringey.

So has Person A explained that they are not currently in the right head space for weight loss and would rather they be left to it from now on?