Is it normal dd12 behaviour

My year 8 has had a few changes in friendships
over this year. Only one that seems to have been a negative experience. She seems to have been pretty happy despite all the chopping and changing. It all seems to be fairly settled now though as they go into year 9.
We we’re told by school that year 8 was the worst year for friendship problems.

Has she just started Year 8? I think in Year 7, a lot of people cling to their primary school friends or the people they meet in the first year of secondary whilst gradually getting to know other people and also figuring out who they themselves are in this very different environment. This means that, during the summer term, those initial friendships (even the long-standing primary school ones) are beginning to fracture and there can be quite a shake up over the summer holidays. When they come back for year 8, there can be quite a change and each change has a knock on effect for everyone else in that group and each girl in it will react differently, which then has further knock on effects.
Chat with your daughter and make sure she's not being bullied or being a bully and suggest she tries not to get too involved in the day to day drama of it but just stays friendly with everyone and sits back and sees what happens. That worked for my DD last year. My own solution several decades ago was just to get involved in a lot of clubs as I got so bored of all of the drama of it all.

Ah yes the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing is awful, especially with social media. The amount of times my DD would be "talking" to a boy, she'd tell a certain friend about it and then that friend would start messaging whichever boy it was too! DD wasn't like that at all so found it all very annoying and didn't understand why a so called friend would do that!

I learnt quite early on to just let DD rant at me and not give much of an opinion so that she didn't think it was more of a deal than it was (even though sometimes I wanted to throttle some of her "friends" for upsetting her!). I didn't have many friends at school so made sure I wasn't projecting

It depends on the child and whether they're lucky with finding the right friends.
My eldest daughters friendship groups were forever changing, she couldn't seem to find a best friend which was part of the problem.
My 2nd daughter has been luckier in that she made a best friend in year 7 and now they're in year 9 and still best friends. She got lucky and they clicked and have never argued.

Weird! Back then we started high school in year 8 so maybe that made a difference if pp say this is a year 7/8 thing?

Yes 7 and 8 definitely the worst for this (for me as a child and now what I witness as a teacher). It's exhausting but it does pass. Definitely encourage to have a range of friends from different activities, and not to put all her friendship eggs in one basket. Also don't get to drawn into other people's dramas. She may feel pressured to take sides in other people's disputes; best to stay neutral!!

@Hellsbellsandspidersankles exactly. @Pinkywoo your experience is very abnormal. It's very natural and normal to have lots of different friendships. A lot of social skills are formed in Y7 and 8 and the current Y10, 11 and 12 who were in lockdown during those tween years have all sorts of issues. They are all a year or two 'behind" from my observations and dealings with them. The Y11s that just started are very much giving Y9 or 10 energy.

Not everybody has a best friend. I would have loved one but I went through all my years of school without one and even now, although I think I get along with most people easily, I don't have many close friends. The person in my life who most fits the description of 'best friend' lives in another country so we text often (but not even weekly) and only meet up every few years.

My DDs, now 13 and 16, have had a variety of close friends but these come and go. Sometimes, they have met someone new and there has been an intense 2 -3 weeks or even months but then eventually, things run their course, change or just fizzle out. They are still friendly but not living in each other's pockets and spending every spare moment together. I've come to the conclusion that this is normal. If the change/fizzle is mutual, I wouldn't worry.

In DD2's one-form primary, there was a girl who systematically befriended each of the other girls and and had an intense friendship with her for a few months, only to drop this girl when she had her fill and then moved on to the next. Each girl had a turn at being 'dumped'. It was brutal. One day, out of the blue, the 'best' friend would be told, 'I'm now playing with X and we don't want to play with you.' Other girls would already be paired off and so the newly dumped would be alone!

You see that isn’t the norm at all.

In my experience (secondary school teacher) some time in year 9 depending on the maturity level of the kids involved. Year 7 is a lot of change with a new school and year 8 often has a lot of drama. Year 9 is my favourite before GCSE pressures start.

12 is still very young and they're still trying to figure out who they are and sometimes they realise people they are hanging around with aren't really their kind of person/people.

My DD has just started 6th form and they all seem to mingle together but she does have a group of close friends (male and female) now that she does a lot with outside of school

Normal. Depending on child and maturity/luck of options in year group, but normally settles anywhere around Y9- beg of Y11. I would urge them to get involved in as much as possible to give them options. Much safer at this stage to have quite a few different friends than just one vest friend.

Normal IME too. For my daughters it settled in year 9 so around 14-15. Honestly it was a great relief!

I think it is common with some children, both my kids have told me about all the drama and fallouts of others.

My kids would hate it and roll their eyes at friendship drama. They both have had mostly drama free, good friendships thankfully, other than some silliness in primary school.

DD12 who has just gone into year 8 is currently on her 3rd best friend since starting secondary. Hoping it settles down and this one sticks!

Totally normal. In my experience, it settles down when they start sixth form.

It's absolutely normal. I know what you mean by exhausting though - I really don't care whether Millie sat next to Lauren or Abigail in maths, but apparently I had to have every aspect of the interaction dissected minutely.

very normal. I reread my diary from that age the other day and it was full of this shit! Hilarious in retrospect. Also at 12 my BFF “left me” for another girl and I was - temporarily- heartbroken. I think it settled down by about 15 or so for me .