Trapped with an alcoholic I hate

He is not his parents' problem either.
I would contact Police to tell them you are kicking him out.
They might take him into lock up next time or put him into a halfway charity house.
Break up for good. Do not look back.

If you wait until his parents arrive you could give the parents the engagement ring when you drop him off (if it is from the drunkard partner). However I assume they will quickly spend that on him and be back at square one.

Oh it's your house, get his keys And change your locks I don't blame his parents for going on holiday unreachable!

His own mother - his mother - has no hesitation in leaving him to it. Yet you are tying yourself in knots, making yourself ill over him. Why? He doesn’t care about you (apart from the roof over his head tut supply) He only cares about his next drink.

alcoholism is a disease. It’s a terrible destructive and heart breaking disease. And you can’t cure him. Any more than you could cure him of cancer or rheumatism.

This isn't love its some toxic co dependency his mental health and alcoholism isn't your responsibility he's holding you hostage by popping pills so you drive him to hospital, this is the rest of your life if you stay with him? You are not trapped your own mental health is causing you to be trapped, get some help for you so you are strong enough to leave.

Don't leave. It's your flat. Get him out and change the locks. Call the police for assistance. He is not your husband. He has no claim over your flat. His next of kin are legally his parents and, even though they have chosen to wash their hands and disappear, he is their problem not yours.

The comment about you are not a rehabilitation centre for a dysfunctional man is absolutely spot on. Desperate men always use the threat of suicide to keep women in their control. He will keep you dangling on that string until the end of time and nothing will improve.

You need to act here. Are there any good friends/family members who can come and support you whilst you are going through this?

Alcoholism is such a sad addiction and it is destroying his life. Dont let it destroy yours too.

Only he can change the path he is on and he needs to find it himself, you cant help him and you certainly are not responsibile for anything he chooses to do

I have been where you are, at this point you're scared he will kill himself. I got to the point that I was wishing he did. I'm 4 years past it now, have a lovely husband who is not addicted to anything and the kind of life I could never have with him.
He's still a rollercoaster up and down (I know because he is my son's dad and still sees him) but actually in many ways he's better without me to pick him up, cover it up and try to mend him. He's only got himself to blame now.
Honestly the best thing I ever did, but also I get where you are. There are two years of posts on here about him gambling my money away, trying to stop me breastfeeding, pissing on the couch (so many times) ruining Christmas ... and I still didn't chuck him out. I wish I had done it sooner, it took a while to get over it, but it was like coming out of a fog.

Omg you are not responsible! You do not have to be on suicide watch. Getting out of it might be what he needs. I have an alcoholic mother and sometimes we think we are helping but we are often enabling the behaviour without realising. He is responsible for his own actions and that's that. Not you.

Unfortunately no.

Or at least they may section for 24 hours or so, but released as soon as imminent danger is over.

Yes. And there are no "forms" to fill in.

Leave a bag of stuff with his AA group.

You can't do this. AA meetings rent venues just the same as your local yoga class does. There is no 24/7 "staffed" location for an AA meeting. Groups are made up exclusively of alcoholics, there are no professional alcohol specialists supervising everyone's recovery and checking in Ieft luggage.

I've contacted the AA for him. Managed to get him the go in and fill in some forms. Then a group meeting.

Forms??

As sad as it is, the only person who can help him is him!
All the while he is with you he feels like this is acceptable behaviour because you are still with him and he has had no real consequence for his actions and the more you let him carry on like this the worse it will get and the more miserable you will become. At the end of the day you only have one life and you need to decide if this is really what you want for the rest of yours because take it from someone who knows and has been there with a family member that it will get worse.
They always say that alcoholics need to hit rock bottom before they can even start to think of recovery and maybe losing you will be the one thing to make him realise what he is actually doing to himself.
He is not your responsibility, cut him loose and get on with the rest of your life

Don't suicidal people get sectioned anymore?

@whatinthewordgirl

Hope you are ok today? How did it go?

@Whatintheworldgirl
How did it go this morning and are you ok?

his going cold turkey and the risks of it are NOT the op's responsibility

https://www.rehab4addiction.co.uk/alcohol-withdrawal-symptoms/dangers-cold-turkey

Come on girl!
i literally walked away from my ex when he passed out at the top of MY stairs and pissed himself. I went to bed and the next day I stood firm on my “this won’t work anymore” stance for about a month (I kicked him out that day but yknow the script , the promising to change etc). He went to AA, he apologised to everyone he’d hurt, but I stood firm after 4 years of his shit. He threw so much against me, I’d had an abortion the year before, he gave me hell for that despite him never ever wanting me to keep it. The whole way through I just thought about how my life could be without him and didn’t budge (it took me a long time to get there) . He didn’t really have any family and his mum died shortly after. I know he’s fully back to his ways and he now has another victim to abuse sadly.
You deserve to get out of this trap and NONE of it is your responsibility!!!
Play it forward, what could your life be in a month, 3, 6 months or a year!
Get rid now. it’s the best thing you’ll ever do for yourself x

Oh @Whatintheworldgirl you said you are scared that he might hurt you.
You say alcohol helps him sleep and he has no way of buying alcohol. Will he kick off when he realises that ?
Is there anyone you can contact to ensure you are safe ?
Does he have siblings- could you get through to his parents via them ?
What age is he ?

Pack his bags, take them round to his parents’ house.

If you can afford it, book a couple of nights in your local Travelodge. Drop him off there / kick him out and give him the keycard.

Whatsapp his parents and tell them that you are no longer in a relationship with their son and that as you are going offline for the next week in order to sort out the mess he has left behind you will be ‘unreachable’ and ‘it’s all in their hands now’ (block them).

And that’s it! You are not married to him, you have no children, you are not in debt with him. You can walk away from this man obligation-free.
Wishing you all the best for your future!

No, he's not their issue either.
He doesn't need looked after.
He needs to hit rock bottom and not be enabled to continue this cycle of abusing himself and others anymore

Neither you nor his parents are responsible for his welfare.

You are worrying about making him more depressed? Do you think he cares if he tips you over the edge?
He doesn't care about your feelings or any impact on you. He's manipulated you into making you think you are responsible for him which of course you are not.

You are not in control, you can't change him and you are free.

You shouldn't leave, it's your flat!!!

His parents are on holiday. Therefore send him to their house.