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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How much drinking is too much?

154 replies

ellie09 · 07/09/2023 22:13

Just your own thoughts 😊

I would have 2-3 bottles prosecco per week. Spread throughout the week - say one on Wednesday, Friday, Sunday.

Is this excessive to you?

I drink a bottle and feel.completely fine and capable to deal.with an emergency and as a full time worker and single mum I am keen to know your thoughts

fYI I don't binge drink on one day

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 08/09/2023 11:08

I don't think it's a concerning amount, but it would be good to cut down a bit for various reasons. Can you scale back a bit? Have more booze free nights or drink less when you do.

Original poster
ellie09 · 08/09/2023 11:05

WithIcePlease · 08/09/2023 10:37

You said that you were thinking of stopping vaping too?
Maybe have a think if it's best for you to stop both at once? Personally I would do one or the other, not stop both at once. You have however said that you vape after a couple of drinks?
Basically I'm trying to say, don't bite off more than you can chew and set yourself up for failing
Good luck x

Oh definitely!

I've tried to quit vaping once, I lasted one week, then got back on them again through having a drink that weekend! 🫣

I don't really see the alcohol as an issue, but the two do go hand in hand for me. So to give you the vaping, I do think I need to give up the drinking completely, at least until I am at least a couple of months vape free to avoid a trigger.

I think I just need to keep busy and I 100% want to be able to save that money and go on a nice holiday next summer (I think per month I spend £200 or thereabouts on alcohol and vapes so its a very expensive "habit" not to mention so unhealthy as well!)

Thanks for all your advice!

OP posts:
WithIcePlease · 08/09/2023 10:37

You said that you were thinking of stopping vaping too?
Maybe have a think if it's best for you to stop both at once? Personally I would do one or the other, not stop both at once. You have however said that you vape after a couple of drinks?
Basically I'm trying to say, don't bite off more than you can chew and set yourself up for failing
Good luck x

Combusting · 08/09/2023 10:33

ellie09 · 07/09/2023 22:13

Just your own thoughts 😊

I would have 2-3 bottles prosecco per week. Spread throughout the week - say one on Wednesday, Friday, Sunday.

Is this excessive to you?

I drink a bottle and feel.completely fine and capable to deal.with an emergency and as a full time worker and single mum I am keen to know your thoughts

fYI I don't binge drink on one day

Rather that the specific amount itself, I personally would think about -

  1. Why do I "deserve" a bottle of alcohol?
  2. How could I sleep better 11-7 without needing to rely on 3 bottles of alcohol a week?
  3. Might my health longer term be better with a reduced regular intake of alcohol?
  4. What might some of the benefits to a slight reduction be?
  5. How much does it cost each month? What else could that ££ fund for me (not the kids, just for me!) that is fun? Perhas even saved up over 3 months - would it fund a lovely wardrobe addition? Babysitter and a night out with friends? A half spa day?
Original poster
ellie09 · 08/09/2023 10:28

AuntieMarys · 08/09/2023 10:26

🤣🤣

Show quote history

I know, right?

Prosecco can be as cheap as £5 per bottle. I wouldn't bring out the champagne a few times a week though, that's going too far 🫣

OP posts:
AuntieMarys · 08/09/2023 10:26

Blackblueandgold · 07/09/2023 22:23

That's rather a lot in my world. I only drink prosecco on special occasions, I didn't realise people drank it as a normal drink.

🤣🤣

Original poster
ellie09 · 08/09/2023 10:23

TooOldForThisNonsense · 08/09/2023 10:17

A bottle of Prosecco is 9 units of alcohol
A binge is 6 units or more in a session
2 - 3 bottles is 18 - 27 units of alcohol
government safer drinking guidelines are 14 units.

so yes it’s too much and I expect you know this or wouldn’t be asking.

I’m a former heavy drinker and now sober fyi

Yep, I 100% know its more than the recommended!

I've just let friends, family know how much as they've said they dont see an issue as they drink the same, if not more.

My mum is the only one to say she thinks its a little much. But I haven't had her famous intervention yet, so I know its not crisis bad in her eyes 😂

Sometimes its nice to get some impartial views as well to what the "normal" is.

Ill definitely be cutting down to social events only, and cutting out completely, at least until my holiday in November to give my body a break!

OP posts:
TooOldForThisNonsense · 08/09/2023 10:21

namechanged221 · 08/09/2023 07:34

@SevenOhOne

A liver function test may well be normal but a more detailed liver panel would probably show raised liver enzymes if damaging drinking was occurring.

My liver damage was discovered by accident when I had an ultrasound for gallbladder stones.

I then had a full liver blood test which showed raised liver enzymes.

After 6 months off the wine and lifestyle changes my bloods were normal and my liver scan was normal.

The liver is amazing at regeneration, that's true. But you are right, there is a point where your liver can't get better and this is very scary.

There have been lots of stories in the news about women who drink wine in the evenings and think they're not problem drinkers then getting cirrhosis. Cirrhosis is irreversible and eventually, terminal.

It's very shocking. Especially as drinking, wine/Prosecco etc is so accepted and encouraged in society. You don't need many bottles of wine to be over the safe limit of drinking per week. It's even more dangerous for women than men.

And yet still not really in the public consciousness.

Show quote history

There were Scottish figures recently that whilst more men are still dying of alcohol related illness than women, women are dying at a younger age. 58 for women and 61 for men I think, very scary

TooOldForThisNonsense · 08/09/2023 10:17

A bottle of Prosecco is 9 units of alcohol
A binge is 6 units or more in a session
2 - 3 bottles is 18 - 27 units of alcohol
government safer drinking guidelines are 14 units.

so yes it’s too much and I expect you know this or wouldn’t be asking.

I’m a former heavy drinker and now sober fyi

NeedToChangeName · 08/09/2023 10:14

ellie09 · 08/09/2023 10:07

I am going to switch it up again. Its not a case that I can't, as I have done it before and not touched a drop for 7 months!

I'll have a look in the supermarket later for some alternatives. I dont generally like AF beer and I also can't drink it as I am a coeliac. The AF wine I have had has been rather sweet - but it may be trial and error until I find a nice one!

Show quote history

Lots of the AF wines are sweet. Some of the ones I often see recommended eg Belle & Co, Nozeco are too sweet for my tastes

But some are good. Trial and error

PrincessHoneysuckle · 08/09/2023 10:13

1.5 bottles wine once a week or fortnight

NeedToChangeName · 08/09/2023 10:12

ManateeFair · 08/09/2023 10:03

It's at the lower end of the alcohol content scale of wines and about £7.99 a bottle in the supermarket. Why would you reserve that for 'special occasions'? It's just an average bottle of wine.

OP, Mumsnet is incredibly weird and sanctimonious about alcohol and will tell you that anyone who drinks more than a sip of buck's fizz on their birthday is an alcoholic. In reality, your level of drinking is not unusual or problematic. It is more than the government's recommended limit, yes, but that limit is a) a guideline only and b) a very conservative one.

Show quote history

@ManateeFair

I'd love to believe that these guidelines don't matter and it's totally fine to drink more than recommended limits, but I assume the medics who develop this guidance know their stuff

Also, I'm not sure UK guidance is "very conservative" when eg Canada recommend max 2 drinks per week https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/jan/18/canada-alcohol-drinks-guidelines-health

But, if you can provide evidence that (1) drinking a whole bottle of prosecco in one sitting and (2) drinking two to three bottles of wine per week is totally fine, then I would (genuinely) love to see it

Health Canada recommends limiting alcohol to just 2 drinks per week

The Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction (CCSA) identifies cancer, heart disease and stroke as health risks of drinking alcohol

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/jan/18/canada-alcohol-drinks-guidelines-health

Original poster
ellie09 · 08/09/2023 10:07

SooperOuting · 08/09/2023 09:59

The thing that occurs to me is the whole bottle in one evening. I’m guessing this is bc it’s fizz so doesn’t keep well from one night to the next. That’s why it’s never something I drink unless we have ppl over as I don’t want to feel obliged to drink the whole bottle myself or keep it for the next night when it’s flat.

Don’t get me wrong I can get through a bottle in an evening but that is always a social thing. DH and I or me solo I generally only have 1-2 glasses. Which is easy to do with wine.

Can you switch up what you’re drinking?

I am going to switch it up again. Its not a case that I can't, as I have done it before and not touched a drop for 7 months!

I'll have a look in the supermarket later for some alternatives. I dont generally like AF beer and I also can't drink it as I am a coeliac. The AF wine I have had has been rather sweet - but it may be trial and error until I find a nice one!

OP posts:
ManateeFair · 08/09/2023 10:03

Blackblueandgold · 07/09/2023 22:23

That's rather a lot in my world. I only drink prosecco on special occasions, I didn't realise people drank it as a normal drink.

It's at the lower end of the alcohol content scale of wines and about £7.99 a bottle in the supermarket. Why would you reserve that for 'special occasions'? It's just an average bottle of wine.

OP, Mumsnet is incredibly weird and sanctimonious about alcohol and will tell you that anyone who drinks more than a sip of buck's fizz on their birthday is an alcoholic. In reality, your level of drinking is not unusual or problematic. It is more than the government's recommended limit, yes, but that limit is a) a guideline only and b) a very conservative one.

SooperOuting · 08/09/2023 09:59

The thing that occurs to me is the whole bottle in one evening. I’m guessing this is bc it’s fizz so doesn’t keep well from one night to the next. That’s why it’s never something I drink unless we have ppl over as I don’t want to feel obliged to drink the whole bottle myself or keep it for the next night when it’s flat.

Don’t get me wrong I can get through a bottle in an evening but that is always a social thing. DH and I or me solo I generally only have 1-2 glasses. Which is easy to do with wine.

Can you switch up what you’re drinking?

Original poster
ellie09 · 08/09/2023 09:49

NeedToChangeName · 08/09/2023 09:38

OP I suggest you look online for AF sparkling wines. Some are sweet, some taste great. It's quite a personal taste, so worth trying a few to see what you like

Here are a few suggestions -
https://www.waitrosecellar.com/type/noughty-organic-vegan-alcohol-free-564785

https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/295188435

https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/312560061

Great thank you!

I am going to give one of those a good at the weekend - maybe a wee Saturday treat!

OP posts:
jolaylasofia · 08/09/2023 09:44

yes that' very excessive. why do you feel the need to do that?

Original poster
ellie09 · 08/09/2023 09:35

Yellowlegobrick · 08/09/2023 09:10

That amount would have been not much more than i regularly had when i was a young worker in london in my twenties. i might have seen friends or gone for dinner 3 times a week and easily had a bottle to myself. I suppose that would have been a bigger week, there'd have been other weeks where i had much less.

Now (late thirties) with two kids it would be far more than I'd normally have. A typical week now might involve one evening where i see a friend amd we have one large glass of wine each, and a weekend meal with DH where we share a bottle although the split with DH would be 2/5 to 3/5 not 50/50 - he'd have a little more than me.

I hear you! I was a very heavy social drinker in my early to mid 20s. After a while, I didn't drink much at social events as I wanted to enjoy and remember them. I was the only friend at both my friends weddings who stayed sober and I loved and enjoyed both days and have found memories of them. I also got to go home and get an early night!

I just dont want to be known as the next upcoming family wino, who gets talked about at family events etc. Though, as I say, family wouldn't know the extent either as I dont drink at social events and prefer driving so I can get home.

OP posts:
Original poster
ellie09 · 08/09/2023 09:31

FanDeath · 08/09/2023 09:06

Good for you OP. I saw this update after I posted. You're doing a really good thing.

Do you have kids? My own mum started by drinking a bit like you, then it took some difficult life events to push her into drinking daily, and within three years she was dead. Alcoholism is a horrible thing to live with, and to die from, and it's closer and easier to slide into than many people think. Problematic drinking is where it starts, and it's really positive you've identified that now and are taking steps while it's still manageable to do so. I bet you'll be feeling loads better in yourself in no time at all.

Show quote history

Yes I have a 6 yr old who is SEN and I am well aware he is becoming more noticeable to seeing and empty bottle in the kitchen in the mornings etc. He also asks me every time we pass and off license, am I going there today even if I am not!

I have used it as a bit of a stress relief now, and in the past. I did notice before it was more everyday, so I stopped completely but I feel now, it would be best to stop full stop unless I am drinking with others in a social capacity!

The funny thing is though, at social events, I usually won't have an urge to drink. Every big event this year, I have stayed sober and been the designated driver. If I am with my partner I am too preoccupied to worry about drinking.

Honestly, after this thread and thinking more about it, it's boredom. And you're all right, its a bit concerning.

Going to throw myself back into home workouts and doing a bit of writing that I had been meaning to do to keep myself busy in the evenings!

OP posts:
Yellowlegobrick · 08/09/2023 09:10

That amount would have been not much more than i regularly had when i was a young worker in london in my twenties. i might have seen friends or gone for dinner 3 times a week and easily had a bottle to myself. I suppose that would have been a bigger week, there'd have been other weeks where i had much less.

Now (late thirties) with two kids it would be far more than I'd normally have. A typical week now might involve one evening where i see a friend amd we have one large glass of wine each, and a weekend meal with DH where we share a bottle although the split with DH would be 2/5 to 3/5 not 50/50 - he'd have a little more than me.

FanDeath · 08/09/2023 09:06

ellie09 · 08/09/2023 08:05

Thanks everyone!

I've decided I am going to only drink socially, so if I am sharing a bottle with my partner or at an event.

I am going to Tesco later, so going to see what fancy drinks they have. Also M&S do a percy pig drink that is amazing! I'll keep a bottle of that and have a glass of that instead during the week.

Also, today marks the 3rd time I will be trying to quit vaping and it is always alcohol being the reason I end up back on it. So hopefully it'll be 3rd time lucky!

Trying to save also so it'll be great for that - about £45 hours talking for 3x bottles.

I think I started evaluating it more as I have an uncle who admits to drinking 2x bottles of wine every night as he "enjoys it". He has been like this since he retired 5 years ago. My grandad also drinks around 3-4 vodkas per night (big measures also) and it got that bad during covid, we had to have an intervention (he was opening up his first drink by lunchtime).

So I started to think there may be genetic factors at play too. I know I certainly don't want to be the topic of gossip or worry my family in the future.

Good for you OP. I saw this update after I posted. You're doing a really good thing.

Do you have kids? My own mum started by drinking a bit like you, then it took some difficult life events to push her into drinking daily, and within three years she was dead. Alcoholism is a horrible thing to live with, and to die from, and it's closer and easier to slide into than many people think. Problematic drinking is where it starts, and it's really positive you've identified that now and are taking steps while it's still manageable to do so. I bet you'll be feeling loads better in yourself in no time at all.

FanDeath · 08/09/2023 09:04

An entire bottle to yourself, almost every other day?

Yes that's excessive by anyone's measure. And I'd be worried about it creeping up even more.

Insomniac33 · 08/09/2023 08:52

A whole bottle of prosecco is quite a lot of booze, the fact that you feel fine and not drunk afterwards suggests you've built up a huge tolerance to it, so I would cut back if it was me.
I drink a lot (at events, parties, clubbing at the weekend - not at home on a work night) so can handle my booze, and a bottle of prosecco would leave me very tipsy.
It can be hard to assess your drinking issues so good on you for looking at it!

Laneymoo · 08/09/2023 08:41

Morning OP, that all sounds really positive. I strongly believe genetics have a massive impact here. There is addiction in my wider family and we have lost two family members both indirectly and directly caused by alcohol. They were the youngest of the siblings and didn't think they had a problem and never wanted to stop despite many interventions and hospital admissions. This will only be a positive thing for you!

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