Work from home conflict!

I'd just start agreeing with his sulk "you just want to get rid of me". "YES I do, I am trying to sleep and you're making a racket bugger off"

You’re not unreasonable at all and it’s an easy cop out for him to put on this hurt impression so he doesn’t need to change. It’s really unfair when you’re in such a small flat and you can’t ever relax in your own home or probably even sleep properly when on nights. It’s a small compromise and he’s totally unreasonable if he won’t consider it. I’d be really annoyed if he got the hump with me trying to make my lunch etc as he’s trying to work. This is your home. I’m sure if the boot was on the other foot he would feel the same

This is why my husband only does one day at home. My mental health is poor anyway, always feeling like you're in a work environment on your days off is hideous.

In order to do your job efficiently you need proper sleep. Many People who do not need to sleep during the daytime have no idea what it’s like and someone who refuses to be considerate and go into an available office is showing no respect for your needs or welfare. I’d stamp around bang doors wear the most inappropriate things when in view, as he’s being totally unfair, but that’s because lack of proper sleep would send me over the edge. It’s torture! This wfh is so unfair on people without proper space and soundproofing.

I can't even imagine how annoying this would be. My DH has dedicated office downstairs and I'm upstairs in spare room. He still pisses me off booming away as though he's got a live audience on a stage! He needs to -
1 - have a day or two in the office
2 - box himself off an area
3 - blue his background
4 - get some self awareness.

He is being extra selfish. You wouldn't be banging around the house, talking on the phone in the middle of the night whilst he's asleep, so he shouldn't be doing the same whilst you are sleeping, just because it's during the day.

There's nothing wrong f with needing space, it's healthy and he's using this as a way of getting what he wants - very manipulative

YANBU. You have your privacy too. Both DH and I work from home. We extended last year so I have my own tiny office. DH has the spare bedroom. It is good to WFH if you have a good set up.

He sounds very selfish.

Would he agree to find another place to work? Cafe, pub, library (I guess library doesn't work if he has to make calls)

I have jumped straight to comment without reading any replies.

Has anyone said LTB? That would me my option.

There's a third option...

He's showing no love, thought or consideration towards the OP.

What future is there?

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all.

Some suggestions for a compromise:

• He works from home when you’re on a day shift
• He works in the office after your night shifts
• You get a stairgate to stop dog opening doors
• You rearrange table so his webcam is not facing outwards
• He sits on other side of table
• You wear earplugs when trying to sleep

All of those work at all?

How would you feel if he used a headset and used a retractable/foldable room divider?

You'd still hear him speak but it'd only be one sided and the room divider could help muffle noise. The room divider would also solve the line of sight issue.

Your solution suits you and not him. His solution suits him but not you. There has to be an option for both of you.

I do agree with PPs that often WFH requires a designated space for it so maybe you could consider moving?

Could you also look at the floorplan (if moving isn't an option) and reconfigure somehow? Maybe if you share a floor plan people could recommend some other configurations?

I don't think YABU to be unhappy with the current arrangement. But your DH returning to the office may not be the only solution.

It is your and his home, not his office. Either he should go back to his office, or you should leave him and have your own nice, quiet sanctuary when you get back from work. There's nothing to suggest you have children, so leaving him would be relatively straightforward.

Selfish, lazy, gas lighter. Life would be so much nicer without him, at least he's right about that.

Selfish prick.

You have every reason to want to be rid of him.

He should be going into the office part time at least, that's the reasonable compromise.

My DH has worked from home for years; his "office" is a desk in our one reception room, shifts are 24/7.
No cameras unless necessary, I get advance warning.
Headset, & he talks quietly.
He's considerate, so no problem. OP's partner is a selfish bastard.

This totally!
If he choosing to WFH, then he should have dedicated working space and it sounds like you do not. I'm surprised his employer doesn't stipulate this.

Even if he reluctantly agreed to go elsewhere now, the office or a cafe, I could never forgive the months of selfishness and stubbornness, and the fact that he cares not one jot for your health and happiness.

A partner as self absorbed as this is not someone you really want to waste your life with.

I'd be making arrangements to move out to a friend's or family members.

YANBU! I know there are so many benefits to wfh (commute, having to get dressed, doing chores during breaks etc) but I do find it sad as ultimately it's your home and unless you have a big house with a completely separate workspace it's a pain in the arse for the rest of the family.

I go out out to work and do extra at home from laptop but don't expect everyone else to tiptoe around. When part time during toddler years it was a nightmare stopping dc going to disturb Daddy, pressure to go out every day and be mindful as to return due to meetings.

First World problem, still so bloody annoying when they could actually go to office for even part of the week. Laziness and convenience for some really in this situation.

This isn't fair on you. And I wouldn't be too happy as his employer either; if employees don't have a suitable home working space they ought to come into the office.

Sadly a tiny flat isn't really compatible with one person WFH full time and another doing shift work. We both WFH but we have a big house with an office each. It's just not practical or feasible if you don't have any space and your partner is having to tiptoe around while being in view of your camera (and it's pretty unprofessional to be in a place where there are people wandering about in the background too).

Bigger house or he goes into the office.

I'm pleased OH now mostly WFH as he's around more/ saves money on the commute but my goodness do I often want to commit murder when he's on a call!!

He seems to speak at triple his usual volume

His colleagues must be the funniest people ever because frequently huge guffaws of laughter are heard from below

If I make a tea while he's on a call he comes over and shuts the door because apparently the noise of the kettle is annoying. I actually made a flask the other day because it annoyed me so much

I work term time only and because we have a 2 bed house there's not room for a home office so I feel like I'm tip toeing round. I mainly have to work in the office but very occasionally wfh if I have something to do that requires concentration - concentration that will suddenly be shattered by an eruption of hee hawing from below...

Like I say, Im glad he's not spending ages on a commute, and when he's not on a call it's absolutely fine it's the f***g calls that do my head in - some days are fine and there's none but when there's back to back ones the whole morning it drives me demented

Is it me or do they seem to double or even triple the volume they speak at when on work calls despite wearing a headset?! (Which I then have great urge to shove somewhere!)

Self entitled, selfish prick.
Sorry, not sorry.

Pick a room and keep quiet in it.
Summerhouse / shed office.
Or
Back to the office. (Bless him for being tired)

Its very hard to see how his actions are accidental - they seem quite deliberate

Oh my dear, you should consider giving him the heave ho. None of what you've described is OK.

YANBU. Wfh is one thing if you have your own home office and space out of the way, but it's another if it's disrupting another person, especially if he has so many work calls. You either need a bigger place or he needs to go to the office.