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Original poster

What can I do about nosy builders

44 replies

Doyourwork · 05/09/2023 12:42

Hello MN people,

My next door neighbour is having some major renovations. It started last month and could go on for some time.

We expect noise and dust and other things living in a residential area. They start very early and seem to shout at each other on arrival and during the day. We have just accepted this and realise it’s not forever. We get on well with our neighbours.

The problem is there is quite a few people working on the site and they are often gathered outside my house. This would be fine under normal circumstances but they are intrusive and intimidating. I have been going about my day which often means I’m outside or at the front of my house and they will just stand and stare at me. I have heard them making comments while all standing around facing my direction and laughing. I can’t always hear what they are saying but they have no shame in all standing staring and laughing in my direction. I’m sure it will be something derogatory because it intensified when I changed during the day, into some shorts as it was warm.

I had a male friend round today and we were chatting at the front before he left and they were stood (about 5 of them) watching us and one said something and they all laughed. It’s very obvious they were talking about us and they don’t hide the fact that they are watching me. They seem to be stood about quite a bit and I have no idea how they get any work done.

I have teenage girls and the same has happened to them and one of my daughters was too worried to stay home alone the other day.

Im not sensitive to builders making comments to me or other women and I think we have all experienced this at some point, the issue I have is this is right outside my home and they literally stare through my front windows throughout the day. It’s making me feel reluctant to go about my day or wear anything ‘revealing’ even though it’s warm here.

There have been builders down the road for a while and they appear to just get better on with their work and we have had no issues with them. My family own a large construction company and again I have never seen an issue and have worked for them in the past. It’s actually quite bizarre seeing them all stood staring with no shame, all facing our direction as if we are a show. I have witnessed the odd comments then turn away or just a quick glance in the past but this is something else.

I don’t know if saying anything will make a difference or make matters worse. I just can’t wait for the work to be over.

I don’t know what my aibu is really but I’m just fed up with them, especially when it’s worrying my dds.

OP posts:
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curtaintwitcher78 · 28/09/2023 08:29

What happened with this OP?

Balloonhearts · 09/09/2023 17:05

I'd march out there and ask why they're stood there leching at a ? Year old child. If they're unlikely to take me seriously I'd send her dad or male family member over there to give them a piece of his mind.

Or Google the name of the company, speak to their boss and inform him or her that their employees are staring into your garden, leering and joking disgustingly about your ? Year old child. That'd put a rocket up them where I work. We'd not stand for our tradesmen behaving like that.

LakieLady · 09/09/2023 15:57

lostparcel · 05/09/2023 13:15

My partner reported workers like this to the company for saying inappropriate things to a female member of staff.

They were immediately sacked.

Complain. This should not be allowed to happen to you and especially with teenage girls in the house.

This.

My BIL has a building company. He won't tolerate this sort of shit from anyone who works for him, and where there are near neighbours or the customer is around, he won't stand for any swearing either.

ohsuzannah · 09/09/2023 15:50

Dying to know what happened!

Cowlover89 · 09/09/2023 14:05

Hope your dad sorted it x

Babadook76 · 09/09/2023 13:42

Any updates op?

ThePoetsWife · 06/09/2023 09:56

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ThePoetsWife · 06/09/2023 09:54

Tell them they're perving on underage children.

CoffeeCantata · 06/09/2023 09:19

That's horrible, OP. I hope you've managed to get something done. What is WRONG with these people? They seem to have bypassed all the societal developments of the 20th century...or even since the Stone Age.

I once felt trapped in my own home when we had scaffolders for the morning. They were oiks, yobs, thugs - whatever you want to call them! They were vile to me (the householder, fgs!) and when I went out to say hello and offer them a cup of tea, I got leered at (tongues), comments between them which I'm glad I didn't hear and really aggressive stares. I retreated inside and didn't dare go outside all day. We complained, but nobody cared - they weren't employees of the builders who were coming the next day.

I've since been told by a friend whose job it was to check scaffolding for H & S that they are a notorious breed. (I'm sure there are exceptions, but I'm not feeling very charitable towards them personally!).

maddening · 05/09/2023 23:59

Record.them, put a mic in your garden near where they gather and video them also imo. Ask the neighbour why they allow this to happen.

JMSA · 05/09/2023 23:16

This absolutely infuriates me. Men like this should have died out with the Ark.
I KNOW it sounds bad, as I come from working-class stock, but if I so much as get a glimpse of a hi-viz vest/safety helmet on my online dating app, I swipe the other way. They just have such a bad rep.

PlipPlopChoo · 05/09/2023 23:13

Go outside and tell them loudly that your daughter is (some age a couple of years younger than she is) and you will be calling the police if they keep harassing her.

FannyFifer · 05/09/2023 22:11

This sounds bloody awful. I would Google the company & see if I could find out who was in charge that way and advise them what this bunch of arseholes are doing.

Original poster
Doyourwork · 05/09/2023 21:28

Thanks everyone.

My dad is coming tomorrow so il speak to him. I have been out most of this evening and obviously they were gone when I got back. Il see what tomorrow brings.

OP posts:
Itick8outof10boxes · 05/09/2023 16:58

As individuals they probably wouldn't do it. It's all about egos and small penises.

simonell · 05/09/2023 16:44

And there is no way they would do this if you had a bloke living with you 🙄 just so predictable aren't they 🙄.

simonell · 05/09/2023 16:41

I would 100% get your dad to tell them to get lost !

MeridianB · 05/09/2023 15:15

Totally unacceptable. Why are they all standing around in groups so much and why are they outside your house?

Definitely speak to your neighbour and the site foreman/manager.

AmIOverthinkingItOrNot · 05/09/2023 15:05

OP, I had almost exactly this situation when my neighbour was doing building works. It was bloody annoying, disrespectful and down right weird. They were actually gathering at the entrance to my property though.

I let it slide the first instance, but the second time it happened I went out and told the builders to move away immediately as they were trespassing. I was then straight onto the neighbours to say enough is enough and did they know what their builders were up to. It turns out they’d been having issues with them also and this was just another one to add to the list. It did get better after I’d raised it though.

Id definitely be speaking to your neighbours and also see if you can find contact details for the company and report what’s going on.

LittleMissUnreasonable · 05/09/2023 15:05

My friend's 18 year old daughter was getting this daily when she walked to college, by the same group of builders. Whistles, cat calls, comments, the lot. She'd had enough one day and when the builders started catcalling she shouted "I'm only 15, leave me alone". Apparently they shot inside and some man in a suit holding a clipboard on the site went charging after them. No idea what happened but another group of builders were on site the next day (different branded van).

The shit women have to put up with. I'd be speaking to neighbour (when builders aren't around), phoning the company on the van and speaking to the boss and writing a review on these horrible cretins

TenderDandelions · 05/09/2023 14:49

Doyourwork · 05/09/2023 14:14

All female here, we don’t live with any men. I have male friends and family who come round through. I might get my dad to say something as childish as that is. He owns the big construction company so will know what to say. This also seems a big company given the amount of vans and workers. I’m in my 30s and going to get my dad on them haha it’s pathetic.

My gut reaction was to do two things - talk to the neighbour, who can talk to their boss, and get one of your family members to talk to them. I wouldn't ordinarily suggest the second, but as they work in the same industry, it will definitely help.

Unfortunately, these type of eejits will only respond to those they consider their peers/bosses and I'm afraid to say, they won't see you like that.

Not how it should be, but this "lads lads lads" type culture is common on a building site without a decent supervisor/foreman.

My DM used to work in a very male dominated field (not construction but heavy lifting, so all blokes). It was drilled in to them that they had to be respectful when working as their behaviour reflected on the company. As a result, they were always super polite, always said please and thank you and never ever swore.

Megapint · 05/09/2023 14:43

Talk to the gaffer. Despite the reputation, the building industry has changed a lot. I'm recent years, and that kind of thing doesn't fly anymore. I know if someone spoke to my dh about one of his crew, they would get a bollocking & if it continued, they'd be off the site.

WhichEllie · 05/09/2023 14:32

Don’t say anything directly to them, they’ll enjoy the attention and confirmation that they’re bothering you (because they absolutely know they’re making you uncomfortable, that’s part of why they’re doing it). You say you have the company name so that’s all the info you need. Call their office up and complain. Make sure you include that they’re leering at your underaged daughters.

Treesinmygarden · 05/09/2023 14:27

I don't think it's pathetic at all. I think it's sensible to get your dad involved. They sound the type of arseholes who wouldn't take you seriously.

brrrwinteralready · 05/09/2023 14:18

Doyourwork · 05/09/2023 14:14

All female here, we don’t live with any men. I have male friends and family who come round through. I might get my dad to say something as childish as that is. He owns the big construction company so will know what to say. This also seems a big company given the amount of vans and workers. I’m in my 30s and going to get my dad on them haha it’s pathetic.

I think you're very sensible to ask your dad for his help. He will have handled all kinds of situations over his working life, this won't be the first lot of boyos he's had to tell off. He will probably be able to track down their boss too. And he will definitely speak their language! I hope this is sorted for you very soon.