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Original poster

ADHD in women

165 replies

Sporkle99 · 04/09/2023 00:18

I am convinced I have adhd. So is a close family member who is a GP of 35+ years and my manager who I'm fairly close with, and who used to work in a children with disabilities team (I know, adhd isn't always considered a disability by those who have it, it's more for context to show she's experienced).

Reasons I think I have it:

  • I can't focus unless on boring tasks. I'm intelligent but really struggle to get anything done most days. I have to wait until I have a deadline tomorrow then I force myself to finish whatever it was.
  • I am disorganised. I cannot keep my house clean. I never know where anything is. I lose my keys every day. I lose everything. I'm a jumbled mess.
  • I can't listen. I zone out in meetings. It's painful. I can be talking to someone face to face but just cannot, cannot listen and take in what they are saying.
  • I am so, so forgetful. I forget everything. Appointments. Responding to messages. Posting things. I forget everything. I tell myself to write it down when I get home, then forget to even do that.
  • I'm shit with money, and ashamed of the fact.
  • Im basically a useless mess whose mind is running on a motor but not in the way I want it to.

These are just a few things but I don't know what to do. I cannot afford a private assessment. I don't know if I can deal with the wait for an assessment. I need steering in the right direction, and help in doing so.

Can anyone advise or relate?

OP posts:
PostMasting · 04/09/2023 00:42

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OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 04/09/2023 00:42

If it helps, my mum spent her life as a Special Educational Needs expert and didn’t spot it!

OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 04/09/2023 00:41

You don’t need a diagnosis to apply to Access To Work for ADHD specific coaching or software to help you. I’ve been told they are really helpful. I’ve applied to them but only last week.

Original poster
Sporkle99 · 04/09/2023 00:36

OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 04/09/2023 00:35

They won’t do shared care here in Wales and we have no Right to Choose programme either.

My assessment was very thorough and only £450. I am worried about the costa of private titration and then private prescriptions. Paying £90 a month for a drug that costs the NHS £3 stings!

I can't even afford that even if I wasn't rubbish with money (high childcare fees and rent, plus am on my own). I'm also fed up.

OP posts:
OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 04/09/2023 00:36

Sporkle99 · 04/09/2023 00:25

Thank you and well done for getting a diagnosis. People where I live are being told it could be 6 years or more. I'm not coping with it at all. I have read all the books, I've read everything online. I've tried so many tried and tested coping mechanisms. I'm desperate to try medication but.... 6 or more years....

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I’ve found the ADHD Adult podcasts an absolute game changer. Very accessible and realistic.

PostMasting · 04/09/2023 00:35

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 04/09/2023 00:35

They won’t do shared care here in Wales and we have no Right to Choose programme either.

My assessment was very thorough and only £450. I am worried about the costa of private titration and then private prescriptions. Paying £90 a month for a drug that costs the NHS £3 stings!

Original poster
Sporkle99 · 04/09/2023 00:34

SoggyBottomsUp · 04/09/2023 00:31

Sounds very much like me. I've been on the NHS waitlist for over 3 years. After 18 months on the waitlist I contacted my GP to make sure if I went private that they would take me on via the 'Shared Care' agreement. My GP said yes, so I chose to go private and bit the bullet and paid £750 for an appointment and got a diagnosis. After a few months of me being on a stable dose of medication (which has been life changing!) my GP took me on and now prescribes me my meds on the NHS.

Technically I'm still on the NHS waitlist to get a diagnosis, but I'm just staying on to see if they ever actually contact me 🫤

Edited

I so wish I could afford private care.

OP posts:
SoggyBottomsUp · 04/09/2023 00:31

Sounds very much like me. I've been on the NHS waitlist for over 3 years. After 18 months on the waitlist I contacted my GP to make sure if I went private that they would take me on via the 'Shared Care' agreement. My GP said yes, so I chose to go private and bit the bullet and paid £750 for an appointment and got a diagnosis. After a few months of me being on a stable dose of medication (which has been life changing!) my GP took me on and now prescribes me my meds on the NHS.

Technically I'm still on the NHS waitlist to get a diagnosis, but I'm just staying on to see if they ever actually contact me 🫤

Original poster
Sporkle99 · 04/09/2023 00:30

Nemesias · 04/09/2023 00:26

Certainly sound a lot like me and I was diagnosed a few months ago. Can you go under the right to choose pathway where you are?

Yes but even psychiatry uk have now paused their incoming referrals. If anyone has any suggestions feel free to let me know!

OP posts:
Nemesias · 04/09/2023 00:26

Certainly sound a lot like me and I was diagnosed a few months ago. Can you go under the right to choose pathway where you are?

Original poster
Sporkle99 · 04/09/2023 00:25

OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 04/09/2023 00:22

I’ve just been diagnosed privately at 45. There’s a 6-9 year waiting list for diagnosis here.

almost everyone I’ve mentioned it to since the first suggestion at the start of this year has said that it’s completely obvious. I scored 9/9 on both sets of markers.

I found the ADHD 2.0 book helpful in getting to grips with the various facets.

its absolutely mind blowing to me that I never realised before. Quite an emotional rollercoaster. Look after yourself.

Thank you and well done for getting a diagnosis. People where I live are being told it could be 6 years or more. I'm not coping with it at all. I have read all the books, I've read everything online. I've tried so many tried and tested coping mechanisms. I'm desperate to try medication but.... 6 or more years....

OP posts:
OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 04/09/2023 00:22

I’ve just been diagnosed privately at 45. There’s a 6-9 year waiting list for diagnosis here.

almost everyone I’ve mentioned it to since the first suggestion at the start of this year has said that it’s completely obvious. I scored 9/9 on both sets of markers.

I found the ADHD 2.0 book helpful in getting to grips with the various facets.

its absolutely mind blowing to me that I never realised before. Quite an emotional rollercoaster. Look after yourself.

XenoBitch · 04/09/2023 00:20

I can relate. My life is a mess as a result. But I spent years under CMHT and they never picked anything up... so I figure I am just a lazy bum.

Original poster
Sporkle99 · 04/09/2023 00:19

*I can't focus unless on exciting tasks

OP posts: