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AIBU?

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Original poster

Stand-off situation

34 replies

BalconyPlant · 02/09/2023 17:58

Long term poster, name changed. I can’t ask my friends about this tbh 😆 I am not a poo troll this is cringing me inside out to admit to this tbh.

Long story short, I’ve been with DP for a few years and our relationship is very good, sex, fun etc BUT neither of us will intentionally pass gas/fart in front of each other and it’s now got completely ridiculous.

I don’t even know how we got to this point but he thinks I don’t like it so he won’t do it, I’ve never said I don’t like it but I don’t do it in front of him either. I don’t mind it, it’s a natural body function but neither of us will be the first to break the fart ice if you will.

I’m quite sure I fart in my sleep (everyone does) but he’s never said anything about it as he’s protecting my dignity, like the gracious gentleman he is pretending to be 😁

This morning he was sat on the toilet doing a wee and I was brushing my teeth. He had a pained expression on his face when I asked if he was ok, he said he needed to fart. I let out a silly giggle and left the room so he could have his dignity.

I need advice how to break this stand off one of us needs to do it and if it’s going to have be me, I will have to but it’s been so long now I don’t know how to approach it 😆

AIBU to find myself in this stupid dilemma or is it actually common for women to live a life of clenching and worried about icks and smells?

OP posts:
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Original poster
BalconyPlant · 02/09/2023 19:18

So much to unpack here no idea men having a sit down wee was a controversial topic 🤣

Thanks for answers so far. The brown cloud imagery is haunting me now thanks for that, I might just keep things as they are, limited to wee

We don’t go out of our way to wee in front of each other but with 1 bathroom it does happen sometimes

OP posts:
CPLawyer · 02/09/2023 18:56

Cosyblankets · 02/09/2023 18:01

He sat on the toilet to do a wee?

Is this abnormal? 😬 All the men I have known, sit down and pee. I just assumed it came down to personal preference 🙈

DelphiniumBlue · 02/09/2023 18:40

Believe me, you don't want to encourage farting! At one point there were 4 adult men living here and there were constant farts and fart jokes. I don't see why anyone needs to fart in public, go to a private space to do that, or better still, go to the toilet and improve your diet!
However, I can't get my head around the fact that you are OK with him being on the loo while you are cleaning your teeth, but you can't fart in front of each other.
I think it's best to retain a bit of mystique, no need for public farting at all, or communal toiletting either!

Mojoj · 02/09/2023 18:36

Just fart already..

PixiKitKat · 02/09/2023 18:33

Colourfulponderings · 02/09/2023 18:14

Isn’t this normal? You go to the bathroom to break wind instead of just farting in front of others, no?

If this was the law, my husband and I would forever be in the bathroom.

We fart freely, is a laugh. Doesn't bother us. Only rule is no farting when someone is eating.

Thatladdo · 02/09/2023 18:30

I think you both need to stop being so anal about the whole thing.

HappyAsASandboy · 02/09/2023 18:29

I think it's completely normal not to fart in front of other people, partners included. Sometimes farts happen unexpectedly, but I would always try to leave the room or do it completely silently.

Vallmo47 · 02/09/2023 18:29

I had this situation with my husband for 7 years until I fell pregnant with his firstborn … it became impossible to continue and now we fart freely. Just say to him “Our not farting situation is ridiculous- it’s perfectly normal to pass wind sometimes when together. Next time you feel one coming I’m totally ok with it, just so you know”. End of. Although my husband sometimes remembers the days when we didn’t fart very fondly because mine STINK.

AndTheSurveySays · 02/09/2023 18:25

I don’t bloody know why it’s got to be so taboo between us but it has

It's normal to not want to smell shit smells: hear bowel sounds from your partner or anyone else.

I honestly promise I don’t have a fart fetish I just feel it’s unrealistic to pretend we don’t do it

Chinny reckon.

WhineWhineWhineWINE · 02/09/2023 18:24

Lead by example and fart freely! He'll soon relax and reciprocate. Then you can blissfully bask in each other's stinking brown clouds. 😁

Original poster
BalconyPlant · 02/09/2023 18:22

He was sitting down as he has a bad back but he does sit to wee sometimes, he’s tall I think it makes less mess, I don’t know I don’t get ick from sit down wees 😆

We have 1 bathroom.

I don’t bloody know why it’s got to be so taboo between us but it has. I honestly promise I don’t have a fart fetish I just feel it’s unrealistic to pretend we don’t do it

OP posts:
Brightandshining · 02/09/2023 18:20

Id expect my husband to sit down to wee if I were brushing my teeth at the same time. Think about tiny bits of wee splashing everywhere whilst ur using the sink. Grim.
I generally think men should sit down to wee in their own homes unless they are the ones regularly cleaning the bathroom tbh.

JanglingJack · 02/09/2023 18:20

Ask him to pull your finger...

pilates · 02/09/2023 18:19

Break the ice and just do it. Then have a little giggle.

CurlewKate · 02/09/2023 18:19

Lots of men sit to pee. Apparently it's very common among young men.

wavws · 02/09/2023 18:19

Why are you asking us, have this conversation with him? You trust him enough to have sex with which is more intimate/potentially embarrassing

Sirzy · 02/09/2023 18:18

CurlewKate · 02/09/2023 18:18

Well, I think it's perfectly normal not to fart in front of other people unless it's unavoidable. Why on earth would you?

I thought it was also perfectly normal to never piss in front of someone else to be fair!

RecycleMePlease · 02/09/2023 18:18

Sitting for a wee is good. Nothing wrong with that.

Why do you want to fart in front of each other?

If you have to, then fart, if you don't then don't - but don't go out of your way to avoid it!

CurlewKate · 02/09/2023 18:18

Well, I think it's perfectly normal not to fart in front of other people unless it's unavoidable. Why on earth would you?

Nanny0gg · 02/09/2023 18:17

ZekeZeke · 02/09/2023 18:07

Yep, that was my first thought.
Ick

Show quote history

Why? It's not unheard of - and makes a hell of a lot less mess

AndTheSurveySays · 02/09/2023 18:17

Sound like you have a fart fetish.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 02/09/2023 18:14

just climb aboard him, sit on his face and fart, that will - as former US President Ronald Reagen once said - “Tear down this wall”

Shinyandnew1 · 02/09/2023 18:14

is it actually common for women to live a life of clenching and worried about icks and smells?

So he won’t fart in front of you either but you are worried it’s a ‘women’ problem!?

Colourfulponderings · 02/09/2023 18:14

Isn’t this normal? You go to the bathroom to break wind instead of just farting in front of others, no?

smartiesneberhadtheanswer · 02/09/2023 18:12

He pees while you're brushing your teeth but you won't fart?

You're both completely insane. Shut the door and use the bathroom alone!