Help he won’t leave

Obviously make sure you speak to the solicitor and understand all of your rights etc before talking to him.

Unfortunately you cannot make him leave his own home, just like he can’t make you leave.

I would speak to a solicitor and get legal advice first but your best interest (or only option) is probably to start divorce proceedings and force a sale and you both find somewhere else to live.

After speaking to a solicitor, I would sit him down (be as nice as you can to him) and explain what’s going to happen and as you know how much he loves the kids you are hoping to reduce the impact on them as much as you can.

Tell him that you would like to stay in the home that they grew up in and would be willing to not go for half of his other property if it means he’ll sign this property over to you.

You want to try and do it as amicable as possible.
But the fact that he has a second property works very much in your favour, as you’ll be able to have half of both and can try and use this to stay in the home or have half of both and then afford to buy a new home.

You keep saying 'he has another house'. You both have another house. If it's his, it's a marital asset.

The split of assets depends on so much stuff op, length of marriage, bought before marriage?, potential earnings, kids needs etc etc

Yiu will only know if you see a solicitor.

Do it in secret, gather up all the info.

And why do you think he would get the kids 100% of the time? He doesn't decide these things op. You seem to think he does.

Again. Seek the advice of a solicitor.

'If you’re the one who wants to end the relationship then you need to be the one to leave.'

This is absolute nonsense op. Ignore it.

OP he doesn't get to decide who has PR. That's up to a Judge and unless you have a drink or drugs issue you are likely to get at least 50/50.

It really isn't up to your STBX.

Iota not 50:50 with children involved - you may get more on top as there are two houses here. 50:50 would be a house each.

What’s the value on those properties/mortgages?

You really really need to get legal advice OP and get the divorce ball rolling.

He has as much right to stay in the marital home as you do - the fact that he has another property is irrelevant.

Yes it will be horrible living there while the divorce is being progressed, you should reassure your children that you BOTH love them but are not happy living together anymore.

If he gets violent call the Police. If he gets nasty verbally just leave the room. Grey Rock him.

Do you think he'd want 50/50 parental responsibility? If so how would you manage financially (no CM)?

On the able to stay point, I mean if your share is looking to be the same value as the house, you may be able to negotiate keeping this in exchange for not touching savings/pensions etc.

You'd need legal advice as will he.

I'm sorry OP but none of that matters.

You both own 50% of the house. You can't "kick him out" legally and he can't do the same to you.

If you're serious, you need to apply for a divorce (you can do this online) and begin collecting all the financials. Courts start on a 50/50 split in general so you'll need to know the value of both houses, savings, pensions. You'd then need to remove any debts and split the remainder in half to give you a rough indication of how much you're likely to come out with (minus fees).

If that equals the value of the house, you may be able to stay, assuming you can afford it on your own. Usually, the house is sold or one party buys off the other.

Legal advice will help you tailor the above to your actual situation and advise on whether there's any likelihood of a move from 50/50 split.

Did you protect the deposit legally?

As PP said, you need legal advice.But - you need to get your head in the right place to say goodbye to the house. Sounds like you can’t split and stay in it whatever happens. So stay put, see a lawyer and start thinking about other places to live.

If you’re the one who wants to end the relationship then you need to be the one to leave.

If you’re planning to get divorced anyway then the home is going to have to be sold and split and so unless you can buy him out you have no other option.

I would start divorce proceedings and then put the house on the market if neither of you can buy the other one out.

Well that’s good news that he has another house. You can’t make him leave (well, very specific circumstances you could but it doesn’t sound like that’s relevant). So start divorce proceedings, move into another room (take over a dining room, put kids into one room, share with youngest, partition a room - whatever option you have) and eventually force a sale.

half matrimonial assets will also include the house which his mother resides in!!! start writing down everything now with dates, times, what was said. threatening?? call the police. get paperwork sorted out now and store it in your car. get clothes for you and the kids in your car. copies of all bank statements, bank account details etc etc, everything you can possibly find. change all your passwords. if you share a credit card account get it put into his name. now. before things get worse and you run! contact solicitor asap once you have done all that.

You start the divorce process. You get the house valued. You get the other house he owns valued as it’s a marital asset plus any pensions etc. then you thrash out who gets what.

You need to consult a solicitor and start divorce proceedings asap. Sounds like there are no grounds at all to get him out the house in advance of finalising the divorce. BUT don’t accept what people are telling you about selling up being inevitable and a 50/50 share. Depending on your respective incomes, contributions, needs and other factors you may be able to stay in the house with the children until they are older and/or buy him out for less than 50 per cent. Not certain by any means. You need professional advice. The future plans for the children will also have to be settled. Sooner you see a solicitor the better.

You file for divorce. You get the house valued. You see a solicitor. You make progress towards a defined end. If you don't start that process you'll be at the same point forever.

You say it's not abuse but also mention bully.boy behaviour. I'd have a chat with womens aid just to see what they think.