'Making memories'

I have disabled dc too and this summer holidays have been extremely hard. Dh had a deadline at work so he has been working all hours. We've all had a sickness bug. Eldest dc is 17 so I'm conscious of the fact that we are in the final years of the dc all living at home and we should be "making memories". But both my teenagers would rather be at home or out with their mates than doing family activities. We've been out for a few short outings with the younger ones but I've been reluctant to leave the teenagers on their own for long periods of time so we end up dashing back rather than staying out longer.

This. Asked DS2 what was the best thing about the glamorous first foreign holiday we had been able to afford for the family, including his first flight aged 10. Incidentally he's also autistic.

A: "We had fish every day!"

Ha we went away on a lovely holiday, camping plus a cottage by beach.

My kids main memories of the school holidays:

• their cousins visiting and a game involving fart noises
• a very cheap rainbow patterned beach ball that only lasted 1 week
• the day a local farmer put manure out and everywhere stank.

Fffft to Facebook and making memories. Your Daughter's memories of this summer (if any) will be excitement at new house, or if she didn't feel excited and was nervous she'll have memories of getting bedded down and becoming secure in her new environment. She think of the cosy time of you and her lounging on the couch chatting and getting distracted from whatever was on tv. The glorious afternoons at the lido.

And when I say "if any", my parents always took me on holiday to Hilton hotels, theme parks, castles, museums, tourist attractions etc etc and yep, when I went back to school I wrote that the best thing that happened was when my Mum did a cartwheel in the back garden for me.

I deleted my Facebook account a couple of years ago because phrases like 'making memories' make me cringe. (Don't get me started on 'rant over!') As long as your DC are happy it really doesn't matter what anyone else is doing & social media isn't real life anyway. I'm much happier without it - can't seem to give up MN though!

We love our NT family membership. It ticks a lot of boxes for all of us, and works out very economical because we use it a LOT!

We had a very quiet summer too for various reasons.

Your DD moved house and probably got a new bedroom? That’s quite exciting and presumably cost a lot of time and money. You shouldn’t feel bad at all. Half term will be here before we know it, maybe plan a day out for then if you feel you both need one.

I'm very amused by making memories type posting, I just do fun things for the sake of it. In my old person's experience it's hard to predict what children will remember. I remember long summer walks with dusty feet, I remember sleeping on hot sofas and car seats. Going all day with a choice of soggy sandwiches or nothing. I remember when I had chicken pox I got to wear pj's everyday and once buying drinks at a campsite shop. I don't remember theme parks, or rides or who was there (I do remember Wicksteed had a paddling pool but not who I was with), I remember the meeting place when shopping with my parents in towns we didn't know well (we'd find a particular sweetshop and that would be the place). I don't remember a specific sandcastle, but I remember when my dad fell drunkenly down a massive flight of steps. I remember my dinghy, but not where we took it (pictures suggest only the local river). Its all disjointed and very little of it connected with others.

Your DD has you loving and caring for her and that's enough. More than enough. Many children don't have that (even those taken on expensive holidays) but that's all any of us really need.

My favourite memory of summer as a child was playing out the front with the kids next door. No parents watching us closely - we had freedom to play and we loved it. Didn't cost a penny!

Whilst I agree kids remember lots of weird things and not necessarily the big ticket day out etc. The problem I have with 'making memories' and lots of the 'its fine if you don't do anything they won't remember it' is I am often not doing stuff because they will remember it, I am doing it with them because I want us to enjoy it in the moment and break up the boring days. I don't care if they remember it.

It is the same rhetoric people trot out about taking kids on holidays - i don't care if my toddler remembers she went to Disney World, we have had fun, she loved it when she was there and I remember it. I certainly didnt do it so I can post it on facebook or so she remembers it.

Too many people live for memories and not in the now.

I wince when people use that expression. I can't even write it.

We did an exercise at work recently and had to think of one of our happiest childhood memories. It was surprising that the vast majority involved- being outside, no cost, low parental supervision and something that felt adventurous or risky! Things like building a den in the garden, climbing trees, fun at the beach. No one said anything that was indoors or involved money.

I think children appreciate quite low-key things really. I have many happy memories of just being at home, making up games with my siblings, or just riding around the streets on my bike. I remember a very happy memory from a great holiday in France once which was simply being able to eat dinner outside as it was so warm.

All this ‘making memories’ thing is nonsense, the memories are being made whether you like it or not! Big days out and amazing holidays are obviously great, but behind the scenes there have no doubt been tantrums and stresses along the way 😂

You can do what you like to make things amazing for the kids but doesn't mean that they will remember! My ds is 25 and remembers a random day when he was 4 and his brother was 14 and his brother took him out to buy batteries for his toy train. Doesn't remember the trip to Disneyland or the visit to the theme park with the whole family but he remembers going out with his big bro! My dd was 3 and very ill in hospital. She remembers a wonderful few days when mummy sat in bed with her while she was allowed to watch tv and have her dummy with no limits. Again, no theme parks, no Christmases or birthdays but unlimited use of her dummy which was otherwise strictly for bed.

My kids are all grown up and I've forgotten lots of their childhoods. They often don't remember the big days out but the things that happened that were just random or funny or accidental. You'll have loads of stuff that you and your DD will remember - so what if it didn't cost a fortune, take ages to plan, and wasn't plastered all over social media?

I'm in a similar position OP and I'm just concentrating on keeping my autistic DC happy and healthy, sod anyone else!

I honestly couldn’t tell you what I did during summer vacations when I was 11yo.

I have very fond memories of my childhood summers. My DM worked p/t but I was allowed to take my brother and sister down to our local beach or church (15 min walk) to join in with the activities that were organised.
On a Sunday my DP took us to a park to play French cricket and have a picnic.
Nothing that cost ££ because my DP saved every spare penny for our week's annual holiday, which was taken in September (in the days before fines) at a caravan park or Butlins.

Honestly I find the making memories shit really annoying. It's obviously lovely to do nice things with your kids but I find the insistence you've been 'making memories' or instilled a 'core memory' a bit overbearing? What makes you so sure it'll be what your kids remember? Maybe they'll cherish memories of the local park over Legoland when they're older, you have no control over that. It's just adults getting weird and projecting their shit out on their kids/social media. I'm sure you've done a great job this summer, try not to take it on board!

we took our son to Disneyland Paris when he was 4 and when the passport officer asked him about it on the way home all he mentioned were the 'magic taps' where he put his hand out and the water magically turned on!! £2k well spent!! Lol :-)
She will remember the fun you've had not where you've been (Plus Lido's are awesome)

for many people “making memories” = “making content”

Digital vomit. Just live, it’s enough.

Facebook is full of edited highlights. Don’t compare that to your reality @lollipoprainbow. What is “making memories” anyway? When I look back on my childhood I remember all sorts of small moments and not necessarily the occasions that would have been Facebook worthy these days. I also remember being very very bored in the holidays sometimes - I survived like millions of children before and since! We didn’t have the money for holidays and trips. Mercifully we also didn’t have the compare and despair of social media either. What I also know is that I was lucky because I had a secure and largely happy childhood, that’s what I remember and it’s the same for my adult children; it’s not the big days out they cherish.

No one with a caring mother like you is being short changed. Forget social media, no one is sharing the mundane reality there.

We have a beautiful holiday home in Brittany, France but we haven't even been this summer because our Foster Son plays cricket for 3 different teams and he doesn't want to miss even one match. So for him clearly playing cricket is what makes him the happiest. Those are the memories he chooses to make. He's 17 now, so we can go other years to France. We enjoy watching him play and we always take a nice picnic with us. I do the scoring for his team's and I know they'd struggle a bit to get someone else to score. At 17 not many parents go to watch their sons.

I got really bogged down when my eldest was about 6 months old in all this "making memories" crap. I look back now and can't stop laughing - she was 6 months old 😂

FWIW though we didn't do much in summer holidays when I was a kid. Days were spent at home and I was expected to entertain myself and it was the BEST. Yeah we went to the beach one day or swimming one day there, but it was those happy days at home that I remember the most 🩷

'Making memories' is often used by tit head middle class first time parents for likes on their socials.

"We're taking 10month old Rupert Tobias Horatio to Disney Land to Make Memories!" With a very staged 'candid' family snap.

If it's not used in that context it's short hand for,
"Is parents wanted to do this and we used the kids as an excuse."

It makes my teeth itch. Kids more often remember the day a squirrel jumped in the picnic table at the local park than they remember the £5000 3 day trip to some poncey shit hole the parents dragged em too for 'content'