Gushy Facebook posts

@HelpMeUnpickThis I'm so sorry about your sister.

Same here. I post next to nothing on my socials except the odd picture of a nice view on a walk, but I like seeing happy things from other people. Sometimes people just like to share things with their friends and family. I think to assume it's just attention seeking and not at all based in a genuine impulse to express joy is pessimistic.

@ihaveanopinion @DinnaeFashYersel what a horrid thing to say.

My son died. I mark his birthday on social media. Why does everyone need to know I'm grieving that day? Because I am. And every day. This is my life.

You are criticising people for being inauthentic and pretending their lives are marvellous when they are not, now you are sneering at people for showing their pain.

I don't want to grieve privately on his birthday, I want everyone to remember and celebrate him. It's important that he is not forgotten.

Maybe you should try a few more #blessed posts yourself.

Vile isn't it. Do they honestly think other people want to read this? I also hate the "Happy Heavenly Birthday" posts but what's even worse is the "Happy 70th wedding anniversary in Heaven Mum and Dad!" It is not their 70th wedding anniversary if they are dead. II don't mean to sound callous, I understand how awful it is losing a loved one but Jesus.

I like to see people happy. It’s really not that big a deal. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I big up my DH constantly because he’s never had a ‘cheerleader’ before, all his family and ex have ever done is knock him down to keep him small because of their own lack of ambition and get up and go. It makes them feel better. He works bloody hard and is a fantastic life partner and parent and it’s about time someone told the world. It’s not always about attention seeking. I always tell him I’m his biggest fan. 😊

I'm not on social media but when I was there were two people who constantly posted pictures of their kids 'my world' but with one who was a family member she barely saw her child and her parents were raising him. She'd only want to cuddle him for her FB posts. With the other she was neglectful of her kids and they kept being taken into care. This grinds my gears even more than the gushing couples posts or the valentines gifts 'spoilt rotten' but I agree that it's all a facade, and I would nearly pity them.

Why is this ridiculous?

It doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

An anniversary is one day a year. I know plenty of people who put a post up & it’s genuine.

If I did find them annoying, I would just scroll past & get on with my day….

It’s as ridiculous as couples who swap anniversary cards.

You can in fact "make it stop" by using the unfollow or unfriend options. Hope that helps.

Interestingly I post very little on FB. The only time I post is on our anniversary. I wouldn’t call it gushy, it’s usually more of a date where I acknowledge the past year. DH isn’t on social media so he doesn’t read it so I suppose it’s a little odd but it’s not like I live tweet my life. I don’t post on birthdays for him or our children (or me for that matter). Or at Christmas. Occasionally New Year. Maybe the odd holiday snap.

The “heavenly birthday” thing I actually find less odd than posting a scan pic of a pregnancy announcement. “Years mind” has been thing for centuries, social media is just the modern way. Every man has two deaths, when he is buried in the ground and the last time someone says his name. In some ways men can be immortal. -Ernest Hemingway (although there are variations on this attributed to other people so no idea who said it originally but you get the idea).

What are people supposed to post? Memes? I don’t need to be friends with people for generic memes… one has FB because there’s some level of personal connection and interaction.

ETA: what people post is generally up to them and it doesn’t bother me.

Insufferable, isn't it? In fact, this thread reminds me of a funny article I read about types of insufferable Facebook posts. I'll post it on a new thread so I won't hijack yours.

I have no problem with these posts on FB. If they are your real friends, you understand the sensitive reasons behind why they are posting these things. If they aren't then you have no real idea of what is going on in their lives (however much you think you do) and can just scroll past without it having any effect on you.
If you think about the kind of things you post on your own social media, it's likely someone on your "friend" list will have an opinion on it. If you post about the amazing family holiday you're having, presumably your best friend at home knows the difficulties you've had before that perfect beach photo but doesn't call you out it

God I’m so fed up with people trying to police other people. Have you nothing better to do than sit there and try to make people feel just a little bit shittier?

find a hobby.

It really is bizarre to me that I know people in RL who are cool and funny and self-deprecating but on FB look like total narcissistic wankers because it’s all about them with odd Americanised type gushing, weird selfies and Alan Patridgesque bragging. The sort of thing that their real life selves would (and perversely do) mock!

Yanbu op - such a shame it has to be couched in fake, gushing language that people actually don’t use in real life. I would’ve been a fan if it had developed down a ‘British’ line - ie cynical, self deprecating, modest, drole, witty, diverse, informed etc. but no, it’s straight out of Hallmark cards and Chucky Cheese fakery. Just make it stop!

Everyones entitled to post whatever they like, and everyones entitled to think what they like. However a lot of you should consider yourselfs lucky to not understand the use of social media for those grieving. When your world falls apart and no one wants to talk about that person for fear of upsetting you it can be a strange and lonely place. Remembering them on SM and saying this is whats in my thoughts today can be therapeutic and helps to keep them relevant which for a lot of people is necessary. You may wish to mourn privately, I do most of the time, every single day. But on their birthday I want the world to remember they existed and that I loved them. Each to their own. I couldnt give a flying F*ck about the attention from it, and if you think thats what most people want then I'm genuinely pleased for you that you cant have been through this horrific trama.
Lifes too short... if you dont like what people post change your settings.

I’m guessing all your family and friends with children are close by so you’re able to see them or you use another app to keep in touch?

A lot of my family and friends live a long flight away and with a SEN child, the last time we were able to visit was almost six years ago. DH’s side we only see a few times a year and some we only see once or twice depending on when we can visit and if they’re available.

Seeing how much all the children have grown from one year to the next is lovely to us because a lot changes in a year and children grow quickly. I recall meeting many of our cousins’ children when they were babies and toddlers and it still surprises me how fast time has flown. Some have children I have yet to meet and have only seen in pictures and vice versa.

Attention seekers fishing for likes I guess.

Ah I've just checked over and I may have got your post all wrong!

I can definitely say I dislike the op and their followers. I'm sticking with that.

To you though I'm sorry. I think we're sort of on the same wavelength.

I only have people I like on FB and so they can post what they like as they are actual friends. In the past, I did have more people who were more acquaintances who posted some right drivel. Those people have been removed now - so maybe you need to be more selective about who you have on there.

Yes very weird, but at least the person it's directed at is actually on Facebook, I suppose.
It's the "I love you and am so proud of you and can't wait to see you open these presents!" ones that I can't get my head around, addressed to a 1-year old. Who are they talking to?!

Yes I find this weird too!

No I don’t really see your point tbh. My point is anyone can post what they like on SM and no need to get so defensive or sensitive because people don’t like certain types of post. Who really cares?

I don't do Tiktok because it's stupid. I don't then join it and rant about stupid videos on Tiktok.

Again, I'm not on Twitter. I dont join it and moan about people updating their status.

See my point?

Facebook. I'm on there and take the good with the bad. I'm not better because I'm also part of it.

Not on tiktok or twitter. I can judge.

No it’s nothing like giving someone a card.

Many people don’t send cards now and instead text.

You give a card to someone or text someone personally, you don’t do it for the attention of other people.

The only way it would be similar to a card was if you read it aloud before handing it over, which would be very weird.

I guess some people like to propose in busy public areas for the attention too, which is similar to writing it on social media.

i certainly don’t post on Fb daily my life is nowhere near interesting enough 😅 now I wfh I can’t even moan about traffic jams