Gushy Facebook posts

Why do people think this is such a cutting and devastating thing to say? It's up there with "you're projecting", always from people who wouldn't know projection if their local Cineworld fell on top of them.

I can't imagine how miserable you must be to scroll through Facebook seeing people post about their happiness in life, relationships, whatever, and bitterly cackle to yourself "Aha, but I know that they must be secretly unhappy" rather than simply being happy for them - you know, like a normal, secure person would.

Why is she posting pics of herself in her undies on FB? What age is she?

I was nosing through a fb page and the woman has written "happy heavenly 102 birthday papa" never rolled my eyes so much.

Also when the schools went back here it was like Christmas again. Personalised jammies, balloons, presents etc.

Although I like the anniversary posts etc. I usually post the anniversary of my divorce though!

Same

Would genuinely like to hear what posters who agree with OP think are acceptable to post on Facebook, and how those things are fundamentally any different to posts about happiness/relationships

Amen to this!

As a few people have said, if you don't like peoples posts, just unfollow them, or unfriend them. It's not that hard! Seems like some people want to read them, to give them ammunition to come on here and post a scathing thread mocking them.

And then they are rejoicing, and rubbing their hands with glee when others agree with them. Not a good look at all. 😔There are some very cruel posts on this thread.

I don't get why in that situation people feel they have to go overboard on the SM celebrations of their relationship and other half. It's so bizarre, don't they feel ridiculous posting that stuff knowing their other half is really an absolute tyrant?
Just why...?!

Mute or unfriend then. It's up to people to decide for themselves what they post, and for you to decide if you want to see their posts or not.

From my experience, people who gush on Facebook genuinely feel it and are just very warm and emotional people.
I couldn’t bring myself to write posts like they do but I never have any bad feelings about theirs. That said, these sorts of people do also tend to like to list copy and paste things about how great the older days were. Can’t stand those.

That's so embarrassing. Aren't you tempted to ask the wife about it?! As in, hello X, what's going on here, where is your self respect?

A personal nerve? Not with me you haven't. I post stuff on Facebook about once every month, usually innocuous landscape pictures and I literally never post anything about my relationship.

To the best of my knowledge I'm not being cheated on by my partner. But if I was and I was posting slightly self-deluding pictures of my DP and me running through the fields with big smiles on, would it be legitimate for you to go: "Ooooh look she's being cheated on. What fun. Let's have a pile on!"

It's perfectly possible for people to take a critical perspective on someone else's opinion without being personally affected by it. Your line of argument is a bit like those posters who say: "You must be jealous," just because a poster disagrees.

You seem incapable of engaging with this topic without seeking to find a way to sneer at someone else's perceived misfortune, though, so this may be lost on you.

Totally this.

So what is social media for then? Should we go back to slide evenings with holiday photos? Spending all day writing letters to people filling them in?

You make absolutely no sense.

How did people connect with anyone before social media?

You have no idea how terrible people are with grief (well actually you might) and that is one thing that social media has made much better about the world. Allowing people to display and share their grief, and giving people an easy way to connect with others is invaluable.

Not everyone is going to send a card (or even know your address) but it's easy to let people know you're thinking about them and that means a great deal. It helps me greatly that hundreds of people have seen his photo that day, just as I see photos of their children who are still here.

I couldn't care less what you think, but I'd hate to think that someone who is grieving would think twice about something that could bring them a degree of comfort, because some people might think it's 'vile, or cringe, or embarrassing' and then start a thread so they can bitch about it.

It says far more about you than it does about me.

Yes I understand it can be a source of comfort to many, especially when in need of attention for whatever reasons. Some really are just complete fabrications and cringe though but hey if that makes them happy I guess. Xx

YES

Also you don't understand the fakery of it but think grieving people should 'do it in private' because it makes you feel uncomfortable.

No, not a serious thread at all ...

@Thepeopleversuswork

Nailed it, again 👏🏻

@ihaveanopinion I agree, it is totally cringe. Especially when presumably the couple live in the same house as each other so that can just...tell each other how they feel?? It's definitely done for show and I always think there should be no need to do stuff for other people's benefit if things are truly that wonderful? You normally end up finding out the couple have split up a few months later, or as you say there have been affairs etc.

Sorry, if you choose to sneer and "cringe" at people who are trying to make peace with horrible situations in their lives in the best they can you don't get to walk off and say "I was only joking".

You've asked a totally faux naive question to provoke a response. You totally understand why they post this. They post it because they are sad and uncomfortable with the cognitive dissonance of the lie they are living. They choose to get through this in a way that suits them. It's not a perfect solution but they're not alone. Most people in various ways massage the image they put onto social media. Maybe not as blatantly as that but no one posts about how shit and boring their lives are. And you choose to come running to an internet talk board and go: "Look at all these fake people. Her husband's cheating on her, what an idiot. LOLZ. Let's have a laugh behind her back."

You do this not because you think its an issue worthy of social commentary but because at some level you feel better than these people. Well you know what? You're not. You're both lying to yourselves in different ways. The posters whose husbands are cheating on them are deluding themselves, yes, but they are at least trying to see their lives through a positive lens and if anything they deserve quiet sympathy rather than being called out by so-called friends. You're just making gossipy capital at the expense of people you know by laughing at the way they choose to present themselves to strangers on the internet.

At least have the guts to own it.

But the entire premise of their relationship is a lie in that case. Why get so hung up on their Facebook activity?

If you're in an abusive relationship with someone you hate then you're hardly going to post pictures of yourself with a black eye on social media with a caption saying: "Look at my lovely black eye: my husband's an abusive arse", are you?

Your issue is with people who make big compromises in their life choices. I don't disagree that putting up with physical abuse or cheating is suboptimal behaviour but that's the issue. Not the Facebook gloss they choose to put on it.

👏

<<standing ovation>>

Facebook is almost 20 years old. If you still haven't worked out how to hide content you don't want to see, or that it's not for you, it's not the people you're following who look silly.