Pub with a kid

I was left outside the pub for two three hours at a time. This started when I was 7yrs old. At least once a week sometimes twice . It was winter and dark . My schoolwork suffered because I was so tired. I am 71 yrs old now . I always thought I was in the way. I never did this to my kids. All three graduated from university and have become successful. I wish I had given them a piece of my mind when they were alive. I am still angry . It still hurts. Please don’t anyone do this to your kids.

The child in the OPs post could be ND. It's nobody's business.

Stressfordays · Today 14:05
I've been at my local all bank holiday weekend! Theyve had various events on and weve popped up each day. Kids play football outside or on the play area/bouncy castle. I sit with friends and the other locals and have a couple of pints. The locals in there buy my kids the odd lollipop and let them play pool with them. They also give my boys jip over their football shirts, all in good fun. I'm not a raging alcoholic and my kids certainly aren't neglected. They constantly ask to go so they must enjoy it 🤣

Again, how does this compare to the op's post? The kids are out playing, having fun, engaging with and speaking to other people.

MN has become increasingly based on people judging other people and yes, I agree the term 'red flag' has largely become meaningless and distorted to mean 'something I wouldn't do or don't like' so if I wouldn't do it or don't like it it's a red flag, weird etc.

I've been at my local all bank holiday weekend! Theyve had various events on and weve popped up each day. Kids play football outside or on the play area/bouncy castle. I sit with friends and the other locals and have a couple of pints. The locals in there buy my kids the odd lollipop and let them play pool with them. They also give my boys jip over their football shirts, all in good fun. I'm not a raging alcoholic and my kids certainly aren't neglected. They constantly ask to go so they must enjoy it 🤣

I tend to think shit parenting can occur anywhere. Same as good parenting.

2-3 drinks children playing with their friends in a child-friendly pub with equipment for them, maybe a bit of screen time? Meh. Same could be going on at home or a relative's house.

Steaming drunk with the child bored out of their brains/glued to a screen for hours on end? Nope.

Every couple of weekends or so (less if we have plans) we drive to a nearby country pub, park in the car park, go for a nice walk and then stop at the pub for a drink afterwards. The children get an apple/orange juice which they're delighted about (we don't do juice at home) and DH and I will have a pint each. We do take entertainment for the kids - sometimes that might be colouring/stickers but sometimes it might be a tablet. It's pretty much the only time we get out together in public socially (we don't have family support and can't stretch to babysitting costs for a night out) so if taking a tablet with us means we get half an hour of chatting in the pub then I'm all for it. Never more than the one drink as we're driving.

I suppose if we went to the same pub every time the staff might think we were feckless parents with our fortnightly trips and our kids on screens and drinking sugary juice. Oh well.

Obviously parents being drunk in charge of kids in the pub is bad, but I think we can all agree on that. Kids in the pub though - not an issue in and of itself (as long as they're well behaved, devices are quiet/on headphones etc!)

As a once off, every day or almost every day doesn't seem very fair on the kid.

We take our 6 year old to the local occasionally. We have food, she loves on all the dogs (with permission), has a word with the owner who loves kids and has a go on the karaoke.

If I don’t take my kids to the pub how am I supposed to find my way home at closing time when I’m pissed.
😉😁😁😁

Are there any red flags left in the world or are they all being used up?

I do wonder if people deliberately look for something they can get judgemental, I mean 'concerned' about

It’s not a red flag and bandying those phrases about is really bad form if all you are talking about is a few trips to the pub

I used to love going to the pub with my parents and friends as a kid. Great memories. I’ll happily take my child to a pub too provided it’s a family friendly one and not too rowdy.
Provided it’s a family friendly pub, the adults aren’t drunk and have supervision of the kids it’s fine.

It makes a difference. If it's your child, it's your business. If it isn't, it likely is not your business.

It’s not the pub I’m concerned with it’s the amount being drunk and frequency that’s all

So you're going to the pub with them, or you're just there at the same time?

My kids are teens now so prefer to stay at home unless there's food involved.

When they were younger as in from aged 7 and upwards we would visit our local maybe five times a year with them on a Sunday from about 3pm until 9pm and then get chippy on the way home. Kids loved it.

I think if it's not a regular thing and children are happy then it's not a problem.

I mean, the prolonged screen would bother me more than the pub. Lots of pubs are geared towards families these days. I feel like I spent my whole summer as a kid in a beer garden, begging for more coke and crisps!

You don't need to get used to it because it isn't your child.

Would I personally do this with a child? No. Do I think it's any of my business if other people do that with their child? Also no.

Unless you think the child is being neglected or endangered, this is not your issue to address. You don't get to decide how much screen-time, outdoor play or 'activities' other people's children get.

I mean what you describe isn't going to win the parents any medals, but what do you mean it's a 'red flag'?

Plenty of kids are stuck indoors on screens during the Winter for example, or living with parents who are always on their phones.

If the 8 year old gets fed up of going to the pub, I'm sure the parents will know about it.

So are you going to say who it is you're judging? And why it's your business?

Would you be happy with the child on a device for a couple of hours at home? If so, why not the pub?

My kids love going to the pub. We usually go for food. Have found a pub that has a great playground in the beer garden that the kids love. Its lovely on a warm day taking them to that pub and getting to enjoy a drink and food while they had a blast playing with the other kids. Pubs are different these days. During the day it's not a problem taking kids to pubs anymore. It's not all about getting pissed etc.

Our local has a big beer garden and weekends it’s packed with kids playing while the socialise.
I like it tbh. As long as parents aren’t steaming drunk it’s a nice social hub of the community.