Husband is really annoying.

I actually think this is a v good point if it is a complete personality transplant you're witnessing - if it's just an exaggeration of past behaviour then less of a concern

I think a health check would be a good idea. Disinhibition/poor impulse control can be associated with a number of conditions.

I guess you need to tell him he had better to learn how to understand boundaries.

Well done.

Does he need to see the GP?

I think he should get a full check up.

His MH is fragile so best that he deals with it sooner rather than later.

Yuck.

You are married a long time to a much much older man, 18 years difference?
Huge.

If you love him you need to spell out that his behaviour is repulsive and if he continues you will find HIM repulsive.

If he doesn't cop on, then you may need to rethink the marriage because you are well on your way to the Ick.

@AuntMarch .. it's just how he is. Always been the same, we love each other, but he is not physically affectionate.
I understand how OP's husband's behaviour could be irritating... but it cannot be a good relationship if physical touch (albeit a lot of) is causing this much of a problem. They are married !

Then you need to tell your man what you need from him. That in no way makes it acceptable for a man to treat a woman like this when she doesn't want it

I'd hope you would stop if they asked you to

Of course he can help himself! Don't let him get away with that OP as it's simply not true. Does he grope attractive women in the street? Didn't think so.

God, my partner is the least affectionate person known to man. It's just an annoying trait of his. But it does leave me questioning whether he even finds me attractive sometimes.
I personally would kill for him to be like this!!! I can't believe people are saying leave ?!!

I think he's suddenly feeling old and noticing the age gap.

No and I'm not excusing that. There would be stern words with a few swears chucked in.

If you don't like him touching you then he should stop.

But I am a bit confused by posters saying it's sexual assault etc, do they never smack their partner's bum on the way past or give their balls a cheeky squeeze? I know I do and I don't ask permission first.

This would give me the serious ick. Nothing worse than a clingy man.

He's panicking - you've lost weight and he's looking at himself in the mirror and realised how old he is.
But obvs him doing this will just drive you away.

Did he express that concern by repeatedly groping you after you'd told him you hated it, though?

Normal for someone to feel a bit insecure in a relationship, especially if they're a bit older and their partner has had a bit of a glow-up. But not normal to keep mauling their partner's tits at random,, when they've been repeatedly told their partner finds it repellent.

He still works (from home) but says he feels depressed and misses me constantly. I have told him he needs to stop but he just says he can’t help it. He regularly tells me what an amazing person I am on how lucky he is, he tells me he has the deepest respect for me but just can’t help this behaviour as he feels compelled’

This made me physically shudder. Needy, clingy, suffocating and really fucking creepy. He 'feels compelled' to grope you when you've told him you hate it? He doesn't respect you, OP. Nobody who respects their partner constantly grabs their partner's body in a way they KNOW their partner finds repellent. He's like a giant sexualised toddler.

I think if he's not doing full-time hours - and it sounds as if he isn't - he should be preparing for eventual retirement. He could join the U3A, take up some new activity. That might stop him following you round.

I ended up having some marriage counselling after my husband's retirement and that helped us. I think it took him a while to get used to that stage of his life - and his efforts to adjust made him appear selfish. I genuinely don't think he could see quite how angry he was making me.

You are at different life stages and this is a challenge for your relationship. Age gaps don't matter as much when you are both young(ish).

Most sexual predators don’t understand boundaries op; you’re married to one

I find the replies to leave him a bit extreme. You definitely need to sit down and have a calm, mature conversation regarding your feelings. Make it clear that he cannot brush them away and coat his actions as fun or love. If you don't like what he is doing, then how can it be fun? Any kind of sexual activity has to be enjoyed by both. Ask him the reason for his changed behaviour.
You say he might be depressed- has a GP or therapist been consulted? Does he have other hobbies, friends? Perhaps you can do a couple's activity together if he wants to spend time with you, making it clear that you need your space too.

If this is new behaviour and he has been respectful, etc. before, maybe he is depressed. He needs to see a GP.

But whether or not he's depressed, he should respect your boundaries.

Is he getting to be an old man, stuck in his ways, unable to change his mind about things or take into account 'modern' ideas like feminism?! If so, you might have bigger problems. But if this is a sudden change of personality, he needs to find out what's wrong.

I bet it's linked to you losing weight and looking fab, and him feeling less masculine or powerful as he ages.

I agree with PP. All this shite about “I dont understand boundaries” he means he doesn’t give respect you at all.

Sounds like your weight loss has unsettled him a bit. Especially as there's a bit of an age gap. I'm in my 40s and husband turned 60 this year. He had a wobble that I was going to get tired of an old man. It didn't last long but he took turning 60 a bit hard I think.

I’ve told him I find this behaviour deeply unattractive and that he needs to recognise boundaries but he just says he doesn’t understand boundaries

He can fuck RIGHT off then