Siblings and inheritance

Think about your future.

Even if you don't need the funds rights now, they would certainly improve your quality of life. You could also boost your pension significantly or invest, leaving a nest egg for your future.

If your sister wants to remain in the property, she needs to get a mortgage for half of it and pay you what you are entitled to.

OP it's either sell and split or they buy you out. That's it.

^ This.

Just bear in mind that even if your sister agrees she might try to pull a fast one. In a vaguely similar situation, after agreeing a house inheritance deal my brother decided he'd pay 60% of the actual buy-out amount. No, I said, it'll be done according to the average of 3 estate agents' valuations. He then declared these as incorrect and wanted to pay maybe 80% of the buy-out amount. No, I said, we'll stick with the valuation or the house will be sold. Once we were on the verge of getting things formally agreed, he made a last minute bid to knock of £10000. Just to get the pain-in-the-arse situation resolved, I said he could have £2500 off as a take it or leave it, and finally got binding legal agreement and was able to sort out the money.

There will also have been a value to the mum having her daughter living with her, in terms of company and support: we can't assume this wasn't something that the mother benefitted from.

You are a hiding to nothing no matter how you deal with this.
i would say though you both, I assume, thought that your mum would split everything 50:50. You had no reason to think otherwise and the important bit is that your mum had every opportunity to tell you that she wanted to your sister to stay. But she didn’t. Your sister has told you that.

so my reading of that is that your mum wanted you to have your half and I am sure as much as she would love your sis yet to stay in the house, she also would want you to have your half. If you deny yourself your half then you are going Against your mum’s wishes. Think how your mum would feel about that

this is a dreadfully awful time and wishing all the love to get through but ultimately if she won’t buy you out (renting her side is only going to make it messy) then you have to sell the property, take your half and have a clean break. Long term that is the best solution.

I'm with you there, @Dropthedonkey, this needs to wait until after the funeral, I think. Then, when things have calmed down a bit, you'll both be able to look at this a more calmly.

Sorry for your loss, OP, and I'm sure you don't need this on top of your grief. But there are some things that might be relevant, eg:

Who is the executor of the will? If there's a solicitor appointed to do it, it will be up to them to explain to your sister that, in the absence of any other will made after this one, what's specified in this one must be followed. If no executor has been appointed, it might be best to appoint one.

Will the value of your DM's estate be above the threshold for inheritance tax (£325k, although if the house was jointly owned with a spouse, it can be up t to double that)? If it is, the house may need to be sold to pay the IHT.

Who has the actual will?

Hopefully, in a little while you'll be able to have a calm discussion with your sister about whether she gets a mortgage to buy out your share and keep the house, or if it has to be sold and the money shared between you.

This is the last thing you need when you're recently bereaved, and I hope that it's resolved with the minimum of hassle.

I am so sorry for you loss.

I hope your sister reaction is just grief and shock and she will take a more reasonable position in the next few weeks.

your mum left clear written instructions - she wouldn’t want you to sacrifice your inheritance to subsidise your sister and brother in law.

I know this is such an awful time and I am sorry this issue has bubbled up

We have been in a sort of similar situation. Bil was living in FiL's house when he died. He's still there 18 months later. The house is being sold but there is huge resentment about it all. As a po said he has benefited from not paying bills for years.

How much did they pay towards house expenses while living at your mum's?

Do you know if they were paying your mum a fair market rent for staying there? If so could they keep doing that? If not, well, she’s a cheeky mare.

OP it's either sell and split or they buy you out. That's it.

Get it valued.

So sorry for your loss.

Many years ago my ex said he would gift his eventual share of inheritance (a sizeable amount, 300-400k to his older brother who was the only sibling to not own his own home. Then he had his own children and although the doesn’t ‘need’ the money it will go to his own children to give them a leg up in buying their own homes in the South East which isn’t easy. His older brother could have bought if he didn’t have 5 children and chosen to pay for a particular type of schooling. It should always be split fairly amongst siblings and to even suggest to you that she keeps it shows what a CF she is and it would affect my ongoing relationship with her for sure. It’s a shame as inheritance often causes family rows

Do you happen to know if your sister could afford a mortgage on her half of the house value? (I'm assuming your mum owned it outright).

She’s being very selfish to act like she should just have the family home and leave you with nothing. Don’t let her make you think that you are the one being selfish here.

Well she cannot just say she’s keeping it, that’s ridiculous. If your mum wanted that or had any wishes she would have spoken to you. I’d let her know that she needs to buy you out or it’s sold and she rents elsewhere. You’d absolutely be able to enforce the will legally, hopefully doesn’t come to that. She’s being unreasonable, yes she’s grieving, you both are and it doesn’t matter what the circumstances are for each sibling, you’re both entitled to half each

It's likely your DM did like having her DGC living there and they still can if their parents buy you out. The thing is your DSis isn't saying let me buy your share, she's saying give me your share.

How many years is it until the kids are ‘older’?

If you do want to work something out rather than insisting on a sale / buyout (which of course you could) the other option is she pays you rent. Practically- is she going to pay it each month or will it be awkward chasing her? Is there a legal way you could add rent payable over the period (plus interest) to your half of the property so you get more when the house eventually sells?

Perhaps you could give her a few options if you wanted to be accommodating, but you shouldn’t have to lose out.

I'm so sorry for your loss, I hope the funeral brings you all some peace.

Just stay calm with "Yes it would be lovely if you can all stay there, let's get the valuations done so you can arrange a mortgage to buy out my share." To be nice to her, you could recommend an IFA to help them work out mortgage deals to buy you out. If two adults have jobs, hopefully they can afford 50% of the house.

Your sister is trying to deprive your children/family of this money.

The house needs to be sold.

If she wants to fall out with you, that is on her.

Do not be manipulated by her.

Please bear in mind the OP's mum passed away this week and it's very early to be ordering the removals vans. Give them a chance to have a funeral and come round to the idea that things have to change.

You need to get angry. How dare your sister try and steal from you and yours? You are as entitled to that house as she is! You could always go and move in as well 🤣

Op unfortunately by the time the children are older they will be so attached to the house....

You definitely need to keep it clear and above board and make sure you get your inheritance.

And do it legally.

They can buy you out.

Hope you get it sorted OP.

My sibling did something similar to me (except my parent had already signed the house over within 6 months of their death and apparently there was no 50/50 will to apply after that).

I have never forgiven them for what they did and will never forget. We have no contact now as a result.

That's ridiculous idea. Why would she want to rent half a house to her sister when her sister think she's entitled to the whole thing? The only thing to do is to sell it.