Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To do this,

32 replies

Isitseptember · 24/08/2023 09:58

Move my kids out of their nice modest family home. Move into council or housing where they would have to share a room.
Possibly give up access to car, no holidays when they are used to 2 a year.
Live off benefits, when they are used to days, meals out every week.
Or stay together as a family in a loveless relationship.

OP posts:
NeedTheSeaside · 24/08/2023 10:14

those are not the only two options!

questions as above.

is he happy, would he be happier to divirce?

JamieJ93 · 24/08/2023 10:12

It's not as easy just to get a council house, I have been in the highest band for 8 months, there are no council houses, it's a mess. Maybe you'd be better off moving into a private if your looking for a quick "exit". If you're in a loveless relationship and/or arguing frequently, your children might welcome the idea of you and your OH splitting up ? I obviously do not know your situation though and I'm aware it's not always clear cut.

WorseDecision · 24/08/2023 10:11

You'd be lucky to get a council house/flat sadly. The lists are extremely long.

Could you not put money away first then leave?

savethatkitty · 24/08/2023 10:09

If you can tolerate it, stay where you are for now. Enjoy the modest house, holidays etc. But start hobbies/activities etc just for you, so when the time does arrive you eventually leave, you'll have things to occupy yourself.

Motnight · 24/08/2023 10:07

You need to tell us why, Op.

Neverseenbefore · 24/08/2023 10:06

It’s not necessarily either/or between those extremes.

Do you own your current home?
How old are the DC?
Why would you assume council housing?
Nothing really wrong with sharing a room.
Why would they get no holidays or trips?
Why would you/they be living off benefits?
Can you not work?

Hangonasecondd · 24/08/2023 10:05

Do you own your current modest home?
Are you married?
Are you working?
Would you be able to split custody of the children?

For what it's worth I don't think it's ever worth staying in a loveless relationship.