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Original poster

MIL nightmare

33 replies

Jessxpoppy · 24/08/2023 01:38

My Partner is working away for 6 months and expects me to "check up" on my MIL. She constant gets annoyed/jealous if
We have 3 way calls. (Cheaper to do a 3 way call for him)
However rewind 3 weeks ago i happened to bump into my MIL sister and she mentioned how she was slagging me off making comments about me.
He told his mother on a 3 way call it's ridiculous and we needs to get along (when referencing comments she made
To her sister about me)
I have a child to a previous relationship but my partner is extremely close
With child.. another thing which annoys her
He constant ask me to check up on his mum, which I don't want to and when I do she gives me the cold shoulder!
How can I tell my partner "nicely" that she's a toxic attention seeking witch

OP posts:
Sugargliderwombat · 24/08/2023 03:00

Can't you just say to get SIL to do it ?

Grumpy101 · 24/08/2023 02:01

@Greensleeves is totally right. You need to stand your for yourself and set your own boundaries. He won't because it's easier to leave it all to you.

Original poster
Jessxpoppy · 24/08/2023 02:00

Greensleeves · 24/08/2023 01:45

Well...he probably knows. He doesn't want to face up to the fact that she's behaving appallingly, because then he would have to step up and deal with it. He's hoping you'll just put up with it, swallow your feelings and manage her so he doesn't have to.

With that in mind, I wouldn't invest much time in trying to find a tactful form of words. Tell him firmly that he needs to show a bit of backbone and set some boundaries with his mother. In the meantime, you insist on your boundaries. If she is rude and nasty to or about you, then you don't see or speak to her.

Yes this is true. He knows she acts badly
and brushes it under the rug.
I think just having minimal connect is best thing

OP posts:
Original poster
Jessxpoppy · 24/08/2023 01:58

Thedogscollar · 24/08/2023 01:44

Why does she need checking on?
If he's so worried about her he can phone her direct.
Re her comments about you I think you should have it out with her. Ask her directly what her problem is that she obviously has with you.
It doesn't sound like it's going to improve unless you can clear the air and move forward.

I have asked her directly- with my partner on the same call.
She denied it saying she didn't say those
Comments to her sister

OP posts:
Frogger8395 · 24/08/2023 01:51

He constant ask me to check up on his mum, which I don't want to and when I do she gives me the cold shoulder!

Stop being a mug. Tell him to do it himself.

Workingmumchaos · 24/08/2023 01:45

FaceTime, zoom, Skype, google meet? Trillion ways for him to ring her for free!

Greensleeves · 24/08/2023 01:45

Well...he probably knows. He doesn't want to face up to the fact that she's behaving appallingly, because then he would have to step up and deal with it. He's hoping you'll just put up with it, swallow your feelings and manage her so he doesn't have to.

With that in mind, I wouldn't invest much time in trying to find a tactful form of words. Tell him firmly that he needs to show a bit of backbone and set some boundaries with his mother. In the meantime, you insist on your boundaries. If she is rude and nasty to or about you, then you don't see or speak to her.

Thedogscollar · 24/08/2023 01:44

Why does she need checking on?
If he's so worried about her he can phone her direct.
Re her comments about you I think you should have it out with her. Ask her directly what her problem is that she obviously has with you.
It doesn't sound like it's going to improve unless you can clear the air and move forward.