Worst damage your kid has ever done

Please please please!! These threads should come with a laughter warning!!! I’ve nearly wet myself laughing! Gosh there some amazing parents out there! Well done to you all for getting through the storms!! And thank you for the often inappropriate laughs!, Tena lady here I come!!

I'm not entirely innocent. Aged around 3, mum and dad had bought their first brand new cooker. It had little bakelite tiles on the front that indicated which gas burner was which. I picked at one and broke the tile. Around the same time I smeared hand cream on the bathroom wallpaper, which ripped, I then tried using other things to fix it but made it worse. Told DM a bird had flown in and pecked it (probably because we had a budgie around that time that used to peck the wallpaper in the living room).
I drew all over my Nan's beloved Des O'Connor LPs with marker pen.
Spilt a bottle of Quink ink over my bedroom carpet.
Sampled most of the miniature bottles of alcohol in my grandparents' display cabinet (because I was often left unsupervised - it was the early 1970s)

Came down one morning to find my two dd had got in the pantry and managed to make an almighty mess downstairs with oil squash flour and spices everywhere lovely to clear up
hands up yes we had the sudocreme everywhere on another occasion too

I can't believe these comments! My kids have never done anything worthy of adding on here. 😳

Oh the putting things in the bin thing is the worst! At least most damage is found out soon enough! DD went through a phase of flushing money down the toilet 😬

Mine have done loads of mad things...threw an iPad in the bath, threw a new camera in the bin because it was broken (battery had run down) and we didn't know about it until the bins has been collected, sharpied all over a newly painted wall, biro within a week of getting a new leather sofa. I could go on.

When we were on a livery yard , knocked my brand new ( as in less than a week old , saved up and bought as a landmark birthday present) Stuebben saddle off the stable door , whereupon it hit the concrete , bounced and got stood on by someone else's horse coming out of the arena , leaving a VERY large hoof print across the seat , and the tree (spine) snapped in two. £3k in damage . Actual tears were shed. .

Thank god I'd done the one sensible thing and got it individually insured , and the yard had CCTV .

My ds as a toddler pushed a new dinner set onto the floor casually as I had set it down in his table until I made space for it. Atleast it was boxed so the mess didn't travel so far. But i had been to buy it as had people coming to eat and not enough plates etc so was back to square one 😂

My DB set off fireworks in a field behind our holiday home in France… it set a huge hay bale on fire which my parents had to pay the furious farmer quite a lot of money for!
My DS age 3 managed to crack our brand new, expensive tv, my PILs tv and the tv in a holiday let all in the space of a few months…

Saved for over a year to buy this red leather 3 piece suite, ( a few years ago )it arrived, it was in the house for less than an hour when my son aged 4 got a black marker pen and drew all across the 3 seater sofa.

When my daughter was younger she spilt a large tin of green gloss paint on her bedroom floor all over the carpet. On realising what she had done she came down to tell me leaving green footprints all down the stair carpet, the dining room and then into the lounge. She then ran through the kitchen all the while leaving green footprints behind her! Carpets couldn’t be saved, but thank goodness we were insured!

When my daughter was about 3 or 4 she got hold of a nail varnish, dark purple/black in colour and spilled it all over our white bedding and carpet. Two nights ago, aged 19, she managed to spill a cocktail over her bedroom carpet, that’s off white, right in front of her bedroom door. The cocktail was bright pink. Wool carpet, won’t come out. Minor compared to others but still super annoying 😡

After reading these, a reel of a young boy sticking pencils in the sofa appeared on my Instagram, I had to screenshot to share... not sure how I'd react if my son did this 😳

Bloody hell! Didn't they have insurance??

DD3, my handbag, 2 tubes of red lipstick, friends new cream carpet and sofas. We paid for professional cleaners and even they couldn't get the stain out. Ended up paying for replacement carpet, 3 sofas and a very large bunch of flowers to apologise. Over £15k damage

Sudacrem all over the tv

@NooNooTheNotSoGreat
thank fuck I only had one - you made a good decision

Reminded me of when we went on holiday when DS was 4. We were in the pool when he told DH he needed a wee. DH told him to just do it in the pool (yes, I know!). DS duly climbed out of the pool, pulled his trunks down and pissed into the pool! Brilliant 🙈

DD - drew on the side of the sofa with felt tips.
DS - removed his nappy in his cot and then had a poo and covered himself and every available surface in it. Covered the bathroom in Sudocrem.
Not too bad all in all. They're both young adults now.
My brother broke the glass on the video (remember them?) cabinet. Twice. Used his poo to redecorate the bathroom. Broke the TV remote control by dropping it in a sink full of water. Smashed a neighbour's greenhouse by throwing stones. Smashed another neighbour's window by doing the same. He's turned into a very responsible adult though and is nothing like the hooligan he was as a small boy!

Oh Lord I’ve only read 3 pages and can’t believe how lucky I was, whilst also feeling very guilty about the obviously minor things that really made me mad.
But full of genuine sympathy, so many of these are so stressful and expensive. Never knew kids were so bloody inventive!

@DiaNaranja we need to shave our old, very nervous but very knotty cat... does your DD have any tips?

This is a good list!

I forgot the time DC1 went quiet and I found they had sudocremed a lot of the 4 seater velvet sofa.

Also, reminds me of the need to intercept those ridiculous rainbow boxes of sharpies that unsuspecting relatives seem to love to give to 5 year olds.

Fab self-control, bet you counted to more than 10 😬

A couple of things come to mind:-

A few years ago, my very tall, and rather random, teenage son decided it was a good idea to jump up and down to music under the central light fitting in the lounge - he broke it, it was old so we just replaced it with a more modern style. Daft boy did it again the following week; this time we made him pay for the replacement out of his savings.

A few weeks later he excelled himself by deciding to put a black pen inside a sock and spin it round at speed in our recently painted lounge; or so he told me! I was in the bath at the time.
Cue a sheepish knock on my door, “ Mum, I’ve broken a pen and some ink has gone on the sofa, what do I do?” I arrived downstairs to an abstract art exhibition! 😮The pen had exploded and black ink was splattered over the cream leather sofa, the walls, curtains, Venetian blinds, scatter cushions, TV, a small oil painting, the carpet and my son! 😡Who knew the contents of one pen could travel so far!

Managed to rescue the TV, sofa, carpet and oil painting but had to repaint the lounge, replace the curtains, blinds and cushion covers. My son paid for replacements and helped with the clean up and repaint; he didn’t half moan.😂