Harbouring a secret from DH

Sounds awful especially passing a group of people and getting abuse what was the reason?

He's a prick.

So what? Who cares?
You went on to get a master's and then to have an interesting career in research.
Back in my day (late 90s) in chemistry there were a lot of people who got 2:2s who wanted to go into research and therefore did a MSc to be able to later go on to a PhD.

Ahh amazing ty!!

@Whapples @Plutoshooto I'm with whapples on this- who gives a shit - what matters is you are doing something that really makes a difference- so thank you so much as I know it's a very behind the scenes job where you don't get many public thanks

Tell him he’s a twat. An inexcusable twat. God he sounds awful. How can you be married to someone like that?

All good 😊

its a new feature! Go to the … and click edit. It’ll only let you do it 5 minutes after you write to avoid someone completely rewriting what they said after backlash. Great for my dodgy spelling mistakes!

summed up in the first post!!

Nice

One time DH found out someone had a 2.2 and made a not nice comment about them.

just because you have intellect doesn't mean you'll not be a judgemental prick

• Interrogate

Does he brag about his GCSE's too?

Like who talks about things like that... I just say I have a degree in medical science.

Some time I point out my chosen area is embryology and developmental genetic (or how prior to that it was epidemiology but I switched) if its relevant to what we are talking about (like someone wanting advice on fertility/pregnancy or a discussion of pandemics etc...).

No one has ever felt the need to integrate further or asked what results I got.

This - you should be proud of the work you did for your studies and your career. I got a 2.1 - but so what? I know people who got 2.2's and I regard them as more intelligent than I am.

And by the way, I agree that your DH is a pompous twit and needs telling this (with his high-level intelligence he should understand what this expression means when you break the news to him....)

I don't either but not being able to tell your OH your degree result is bizarre.

Like the OP I got a 2.2 from an RG university and frequently work with people with much higher degree results than me but who overthink/ can't make decisions/ aren't creative in their thought. I also did well at masters level where you are encouraged to think more critically and be more original.

Anyone who really thinks degree class measures anything than a specific type of intelligence is frankly not as bright as they think.

@Happylady165 so sorry to go off topic but how did you edit! Is it a new feature?

Lots of people have known their friends since, or even before, university. That's why they know their results. Others, as OP pointed out, have younger family members at university which made degree results a topic of conversation. Presumably all your friends are post-university but that isn't the case for a lot of people.

I cannot believe people still talk about their degree results after anything longer than maybe five years. How embarrassing of your DH, tbh. And for the record I say that as someone who got a First (and had absolutely no fun at university as a result).

I honestly can't imagine being in a relationship where degree results are something that anyone even thinks about, let alone judges their friends or spouse on.

I haven't got a clue what degree results any of my friends got, or in many cases if they went to university or not. This is something I thought people stopped being interested in at the age of 22.

I don’t believe in this modern concept of being “honest” about every little thing in a relationship. You are your own person and have every right to privacy. Why do you need to confess?

There's a fair bit of anti-intellectualism on this thread. I get that it's annoying being judged for your degree result. Slagging people off because they did well and claiming that it's because they were just anti-social and worked hard isn't much better really.

You can still get on them if you've got relevant and provable experience.

The 'Oxbridge prick' comments are tiresome. Oxford and Cambridge give out Lower Seconds and even (gasp) Thirds.

Just tell him, OP, and tell him not to be a twat about it.

I graduated with a 2.2 recently and my DH was thrilled for me. Got the same job as my higher achieving peers so 💁

Absolutely this!

I'm sorry to hear this. It confirms my thoughts about university, which is that they go with a 'one size fits all' approach and actually couldn't really care less about the students. I also got a 2:2 as my mental health was awful while I was at university, and I tried to tell them about this but got absolutely no allowance made whatsoever. Pastoral care was basically non-existent in the 90s. Thing is, I am doing a Masters now and I thought it would be great and really healing...but it isn't. Nothing has changed and it's still about just getting students through the system and never mind what's going on with them. I wouldn't have started the damn Masters had I known my dad was going to die and I was going to separate from my husband and have to move house, but that did happen. I was told however that none of this will be taken into consideration with my marks! And it's not that my marks are bad - they're good - but they could be better as obviously the last year has been a challenge, so much so that I've stepped away from the Masters for now.

Long story short - don't let what some uncaring university professors - who are probably only teaching to fund their own research - have to say about you influence your self-perception. They only see one tiny part of you and have no idea how clever you are really.

I got a 2.2. My DF was seriously ill during my final year and I was a mess. But then I got a distinction for my post-grad. My DH knows my every mark from primary school up but he is not an arse.
I think keeping your grade quiet is about your DH but it's also a bit about you. I guess you feel that mark doesn't represent who you were at university. Maybe tease out why it bothers you so much. Make peace with it for you. Then decide whether or not to tell your DH.

@Sceptre86 I thought graduate schemes were more going down the route of removing the requirements having proven they don't really make a difference - certainly what I have heard anyway and the way it is at the company I work for in financial services