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Original poster

Airline cannot accommodate disabled toddler

130 replies

ChangingTheNarative · 22/08/2023 15:49

Hi all,

I was wondering if anyone had any advice, I don't know if anyone will but it's always worth asking.

My son was diagnosed with a genetic disorder back in March (developmental delay, mild intellectual disability, autism and adhd) and he's currently on the ASD pathway.

We booked the long haul holiday in June and at that time we didn't know anything about his condition really or how it will affect him.

It's clear now he'll need a harness on the plane which the airline can provide but they have to be put on the backseats however they are booked so we can't have them which is fair enough.

We cannot take a forward facing car seat on and he won't fit in a rear facing one as he's the size of a 4 year old so they suggested a specialist restraint which is £3k (we can't pay this) and that's the only way around it.

I'm at a loss and don't really know what to do or what I can suggest to them.

I wanted to try and treat my son as normal as possible and take him on holiday but I'm thinking my only option may be to cancel?

I thought I'd ask here before I cancelled it though in case anyone has any ideas?

Im not sure what exactly but worth asking

Thank you so much.

OP posts:
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6
Loopyloooooo · 22/08/2023 16:30

Does he need a harness for postural support or restraint?

I have a 7 year old DD like yours and did a long haul flight last month without the harness.

We managed it by making sure someone from our group was sat directly in front of DD so if she was kicking chairs it wasn't a stranger she was kicking. We sat her next to the window with DH and I in the two seats next to her so she was wedged in. We took it in turns to sit next to her and basically sat for the whole flight with our hand over her regular airplane belt switch so she couldn't undo it 🙈.

We didn't get hot drinks so no chance of her knocking them over. Didn't get any alcoholic drinks so we had our full wits about us 🤣. All food for the flight was kept on the tray nearest the aisle seat so DD couldn't throw any of it etc etc.

Is he incontinent? Our plane had two toilets side by side which they were able to open up so we could change DD lying down.

Ring special assistance and see what they say, they'll be able to give you a bigger luggage allowance for pads/medical equipment/wheelchair etc. Use your SN pushchair or wheelchair as often as you can!! We were also able to take DDs special needs safe space travel bed.

If little one will use a tablet to watch something buy spares and load them all up with a full battery. We only had one which ran out of battery half way so in hindsight we should have predicted that and taken an extra tablet or two .

It's hard work but it is honestly doable and it was worth it but you have to be mega prepared. It's like preparing for battle lol, you just need to adjust your expectations.

TropicalTrama · 22/08/2023 16:29

sparkleshin · 22/08/2023 16:24

No. He doesn't need to be restrained. That would be incredibly distressing and traumatic for him. Find another way to stop him running down the aisles.

So you know better than OP what’s best for her DS do you?

Also it’s actually recommended to have them restrained in a cares harness or car seat by the FAA because it’s a lot safer, not just in the unlikely event of a crash but also if you get turbulence. And from selfish perspective it’s much more pleasant when they fall asleep in the carseat rather than on top you! Finally it means you have the carseat for use at your final destination without either risking damage in the hold or a shitty one from a the car rental company. You see it less in Europe but it’s really common to see young kids traveling in car seats on US flights.

Sirzy · 22/08/2023 16:29

sparkleshin · 22/08/2023 16:24

No. He doesn't need to be restrained. That would be incredibly distressing and traumatic for him. Find another way to stop him running down the aisles.

Unless you know the child in question how on Earth can you say that to be true?

Soontobe60 · 22/08/2023 16:28

sparkleshin · 22/08/2023 16:24

No. He doesn't need to be restrained. That would be incredibly distressing and traumatic for him. Find another way to stop him running down the aisles.

Some people need a harness to ensure they sit upright as they have such low muscle tone that they cant self support. Your snippy dig at the OP was unnecessary.

AlfietheSchnauzer · 22/08/2023 16:27

Also, just because one airline allows something, doesn't mean another airline should as they almost certainly will be flying a slightly different variant of aircraft. Then there's a different series of each model of aircraft - many of which can vary massively. For example the 747-200 series is VASTLY different to the 747-800 series.

Original poster
ChangingTheNarative · 22/08/2023 16:26

sparkleshin · 22/08/2023 16:24

No. He doesn't need to be restrained. That would be incredibly distressing and traumatic for him. Find another way to stop him running down the aisles.

He can't walk so running down the aisle wont be a problem.

He likes to feel secure and a harness allows that for him plus ensures that he is safe.

OP posts:
sparkleshin · 22/08/2023 16:24

No. He doesn't need to be restrained. That would be incredibly distressing and traumatic for him. Find another way to stop him running down the aisles.

TropicalTrama · 22/08/2023 16:24

Just a thought but do you know anyone going to the US before you go? So many seats are airline approved there and typically have a bigger weight/height limit so it could be a worthwhile investment.

Original poster
ChangingTheNarative · 22/08/2023 16:24

AlfietheSchnauzer · 22/08/2023 16:22

I have a child with additional needs. I also worked for an airline (also have a degree in airline operations & management) and I can tell you that one thing that won’t happen is them making an exception of safety requirements - absolutely not. They would lose their Permit to Fly. You'll need to change your flights to another one with availability in the area you need it in. There's a very valid safety reason as to why they're only in the back of the aircraft.

I get making reasonable adjustments etc but safety 1000000% comes before equality. Which is why you don't see Cabin Crew/Pilots who are wheelchair users for example. (Obviously that's just one example of many)

I wasn't suggesting otherwise..

I wouldn't put my son in an unsafe situation anyway.

I will speak to the airline again and ask what options we have. Thank you.

OP posts:
AlfietheSchnauzer · 22/08/2023 16:23

Give the accessibility team a call and let them help you find a solution.

AlfietheSchnauzer · 22/08/2023 16:22

I have a child with additional needs. I also worked for an airline (also have a degree in airline operations & management) and I can tell you that one thing that won’t happen is them making an exception of safety requirements - absolutely not. They would lose their Permit to Fly. You'll need to change your flights to another one with availability in the area you need it in. There's a very valid safety reason as to why they're only in the back of the aircraft.

I get making reasonable adjustments etc but safety 1000000% comes before equality. Which is why you don't see Cabin Crew/Pilots who are wheelchair users for example. (Obviously that's just one example of many)

Soontobe60 · 22/08/2023 16:17

Which airline is it OP?

CatsOnTheChair · 22/08/2023 16:16

I'd question the cares harness needing a back seat - and if it's long haul has every seat that backs onto a bulkhead been claimed? If the issue is acces to screen or tray for person behind can another adult in your group sit there?

I'd also double check the forward facing carseat info - although as already mentioned they are difficult to find in the UK suitable for air travel.

MotherEarthisaTerf · 22/08/2023 16:16

Dont know why you are having snippy comments I am sorry!
Hope you can come up with a suggestion

bluelavender · 22/08/2023 16:14

Booking accessible anything can be really complicated

OP- Sorry to see some of the harsh responses you have received.

Do you have any flexibility on your travel dates?

The airline needs to offer your child reasonable support- the CAA has more information on the support that airlines need to provide https://www.caa.co.uk/passengers/prm/passengers-with-disabilities-and-reduced-mobility/

Passengers with disabilities and reduced mobility | Civil Aviation Authority

Information about your rights and how to access special assistance

https://www.caa.co.uk/passengers/prm/passengers-with-disabilities-and-reduced-mobility

needtonamechangeforthis1 · 22/08/2023 16:13

@ChangingTheNarative would this work?

www.crelling.com/product/model-27-press-release/

TropicalTrama · 22/08/2023 16:04

ChangingTheNarative · 22/08/2023 16:00

They told me I can't have a forward facing one. I can double check with them because a car seat would solve the problem really

Show quote history

That doesn’t seem right at all. I think I’ve heard that Virgin don’t allow RF seats but I’ve never heard of FF not allowed as that’s the default for aircraft installation. Obviously it has to fit though and ideally be certified for aircraft use and to my knowledge there are no British seats currently on sale which are CAA approved. We have an FAA approved American seat which is forward facing only. Used it on loads of airlines with no issue.

Original poster
ChangingTheNarative · 22/08/2023 16:04

Nevermind31 · 22/08/2023 16:01

Would a CARE harness work? I think they cost £100

I did ask about them but they said they still have to go on the backseat.

I know this is my fault and I should have done it at booking but he didn't seem like he'd need any extra assistance at the time and I didn't even know about it really. I'm well and truly kicking myself.

OP posts:
Octonaut4Life · 22/08/2023 16:04

I would go back to the airline and ask to change flights to ones where the seats for the harness are available. Seems a reasonable adjustment for them to make.

Nevermind31 · 22/08/2023 16:01

Would a CARE harness work? I think they cost £100

Ratfinkstinkypink · 22/08/2023 16:01

Is a Firefly seat an option? https://www.fireflyfriends.com/uk/goto-seat

Trevorton · 22/08/2023 16:00

Thewizardbinbag · 22/08/2023 15:54

When you booked, you obviously knew your child and what he could or could not handle. You booked the holiday so obviously had no worries about him on the plane. A diagnosis doesn’t change that. If you thought he’d be fine on the plane then why do you now think he will need a harness? What would you have done if he hadn’t been given a diagnosis, would you have realised he couldn’t manage the plane without outside input or would you have gone ahead with the holiday?

In the OP she says the following:

It's clear now he'll need a harness on the plane which the airline can provide but they have to be put on the backseats however they are booked so we can't have them which is fair enough.

So the diagnosis part of it has nothing to do with it, the OP is saying that as time has gone on since the diagnosis it is clear that the child will need a restraint. In other words since booking his condition means he has deteriorated and will now need a harness.

Original poster
ChangingTheNarative · 22/08/2023 16:00

TropicalTrama · 22/08/2023 15:58

Sorry am I missing why a forward facing car seat isn’t possible? Usually it’s the other way round and it’s rear facing ones that airlines sometimes don’t allow.

They told me I can't have a forward facing one. I can double check with them because a car seat would solve the problem really

OP posts:
Original poster
ChangingTheNarative · 22/08/2023 15:59

londonrach · 22/08/2023 15:57

Can you rebook for when the seats are available. Surely you checked this prior to booking.

I'm new to having a child with additional needs. I didn't know about all the assistance and things they offer or else I would have asked at the time of booking. Sometimes he can cope and other times he can't so it's difficult to judge.

The harnesses are available, it's just the seats that aren't which is fair enough - I could see if they can offer another flight and pay extra if needs be.

OP posts:
TropicalTrama · 22/08/2023 15:58

Sorry am I missing why a forward facing car seat isn’t possible? Usually it’s the other way round and it’s rear facing ones that airlines sometimes don’t allow.