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AIBU?

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Original poster

Airline cannot accommodate disabled toddler

130 replies

ChangingTheNarative · 22/08/2023 15:49

Hi all,

I was wondering if anyone had any advice, I don't know if anyone will but it's always worth asking.

My son was diagnosed with a genetic disorder back in March (developmental delay, mild intellectual disability, autism and adhd) and he's currently on the ASD pathway.

We booked the long haul holiday in June and at that time we didn't know anything about his condition really or how it will affect him.

It's clear now he'll need a harness on the plane which the airline can provide but they have to be put on the backseats however they are booked so we can't have them which is fair enough.

We cannot take a forward facing car seat on and he won't fit in a rear facing one as he's the size of a 4 year old so they suggested a specialist restraint which is £3k (we can't pay this) and that's the only way around it.

I'm at a loss and don't really know what to do or what I can suggest to them.

I wanted to try and treat my son as normal as possible and take him on holiday but I'm thinking my only option may be to cancel?

I thought I'd ask here before I cancelled it though in case anyone has any ideas?

Im not sure what exactly but worth asking

Thank you so much.

OP posts:
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6
OvertakenByLego · 22/08/2023 17:08

I second a Tryb4uFly assessment.

Some harnesses/specialist seating do need to be on the back seat for safety of the passengers behind. However, there are seats you can use elsewhere, so look at other seats. DS1 uses a stabilo or special tomato seat (without the strap around the seat, which isn’t a problem as it isn’t needed), the latter isn’t accepted by all airlines, sadly.

LondonPapa · 22/08/2023 17:02

ChangingTheNarative · 22/08/2023 15:59

I'm new to having a child with additional needs. I didn't know about all the assistance and things they offer or else I would have asked at the time of booking. Sometimes he can cope and other times he can't so it's difficult to judge.

The harnesses are available, it's just the seats that aren't which is fair enough - I could see if they can offer another flight and pay extra if needs be.

Show quote history

How far off is the flight and who with? The seats can absolutely be freed up. If BA can do it for a GGL, any airline can do it for a child with special needs.

Loopyloooooo · 22/08/2023 17:01

Thewizardbinbag · 22/08/2023 15:54

When you booked, you obviously knew your child and what he could or could not handle. You booked the holiday so obviously had no worries about him on the plane. A diagnosis doesn’t change that. If you thought he’d be fine on the plane then why do you now think he will need a harness? What would you have done if he hadn’t been given a diagnosis, would you have realised he couldn’t manage the plane without outside input or would you have gone ahead with the holiday?

Aw you're just a lovely little ray of positive sunshine aren't you 😆

Doveyouknow · 22/08/2023 16:56

I once rented a cares harness - cheaper then buying if you won't fly regularly. I used it on seat that wasn't at the back. I just asked the person behind if the minded. The strap went across the where their table folded back up but the table still closed so they didn't mind at all.

TropicalTrama · 22/08/2023 16:51

ChangingTheNarative · 22/08/2023 16:38

Thank you everyone! I've spoken to a really lovely man and he's sorted the back seats out but we just need to provide the harness ourselves so I'll look at the ones suggested.

Thank you so much everyone, I'm so relieved!

Amazing! I know people who use the CARES harness which is cheap but no experience of SEN so I wouldn’t want to recommend. I hope you find what you need and you have a lovely holiday.

anotheranotheranotheranother · 22/08/2023 16:51

I see you have it sorted now so all good but I was going to suggest he might like a weighted shoulder wrap if he likes the secure feeling, not necessarily for the flight but i juts thought it may be of use in other situations.

DinnaeFashYersel · 22/08/2023 16:50

ChangingTheNarative · 22/08/2023 16:38

Thank you everyone! I've spoken to a really lovely man and he's sorted the back seats out but we just need to provide the harness ourselves so I'll look at the ones suggested.

Thank you so much everyone, I'm so relieved!

That is such good news. I hope you have a lovely holiday.

unlikelychump · 22/08/2023 16:48

ChangingTheNarative · 22/08/2023 16:43

Again his behaviour has changed since I booked the holiday unfortunately and I didn't really know the ins and outs of booking things for children with additional needs. I'm new to this and still learning the ropes of what's possible and what isn't.

It's sorted now anyway and I didn't blame the airline, I just stayed at the time they couldn't accommodate him which was true - there was no blame, I was just wondering what I could do.

Show quote history

I'm glad you have got this sorted OP. Id have gone in on requiring the back seats for a reasonable adjustment and seen if that made a difference. If people simply prefer them then they should be moved.

I hope things settle down for you too soon. Apologies for a slightly snippy reply to another poster,but I would love to say that my child's "behaviour is largely the same as a few months ago". I have learnt that SEN is a weird and wonderful world of not knowing what each day may bring. Oh how I long for consistency.

DinnaeFashYersel · 22/08/2023 16:47

ChangingTheNarative · 22/08/2023 15:59

I'm new to having a child with additional needs. I didn't know about all the assistance and things they offer or else I would have asked at the time of booking. Sometimes he can cope and other times he can't so it's difficult to judge.

The harnesses are available, it's just the seats that aren't which is fair enough - I could see if they can offer another flight and pay extra if needs be.

Show quote history

I could see if they can offer another flight and pay extra if needs be

I think that this is your best option and it may not cost as much as you think

Cerealkillerontheloose · 22/08/2023 16:47

ChangingTheNarative · 22/08/2023 15:59

I'm new to having a child with additional needs. I didn't know about all the assistance and things they offer or else I would have asked at the time of booking. Sometimes he can cope and other times he can't so it's difficult to judge.

The harnesses are available, it's just the seats that aren't which is fair enough - I could see if they can offer another flight and pay extra if needs be.

Show quote history

Cybex also do rear seats for up to something like 12 years old. Or something like that.

they also were the safest car seats in the uk at one point according to which.

unlikelychump · 22/08/2023 16:44

Hufflepods · 22/08/2023 16:41

His diagnosis is irrelevant really, surely his behaviour is largely the same when you booked the holiday less than 2 months ago?? I don’t think it’s really fair to blame the airline not being accommodating when you felt fine to just book a regular seat with no considerations to anything else.

You will probably need to phone up and see if you can pay to swap to another flight with free seats at the back.

Lol at you. What is your expertise in SEN?

Original poster
ChangingTheNarative · 22/08/2023 16:43

Hufflepods · 22/08/2023 16:41

His diagnosis is irrelevant really, surely his behaviour is largely the same when you booked the holiday less than 2 months ago?? I don’t think it’s really fair to blame the airline not being accommodating when you felt fine to just book a regular seat with no considerations to anything else.

You will probably need to phone up and see if you can pay to swap to another flight with free seats at the back.

Again his behaviour has changed since I booked the holiday unfortunately and I didn't really know the ins and outs of booking things for children with additional needs. I'm new to this and still learning the ropes of what's possible and what isn't.

It's sorted now anyway and I didn't blame the airline, I just stayed at the time they couldn't accommodate him which was true - there was no blame, I was just wondering what I could do.

OP posts:
Utereusbegone · 22/08/2023 16:43

needtonamechangeforthis1 · 22/08/2023 16:13

@ChangingTheNarative would this work?

www.crelling.com/product/model-27-press-release/

I suspect the reason the harness can only be used on the back seats is to avoid straps interfering with screens/tray tables of the people behind. So anything requiring a strap that goes round the seat won't work

Soontobe60 · 22/08/2023 16:42

Hufflepods · 22/08/2023 16:41

His diagnosis is irrelevant really, surely his behaviour is largely the same when you booked the holiday less than 2 months ago?? I don’t think it’s really fair to blame the airline not being accommodating when you felt fine to just book a regular seat with no considerations to anything else.

You will probably need to phone up and see if you can pay to swap to another flight with free seats at the back.

I dont think she has blamed the airline for not being accommodating though.

OoopsOhNo · 22/08/2023 16:41

Will he fit in a crelling harness? They're about £150

Hufflepods · 22/08/2023 16:41

His diagnosis is irrelevant really, surely his behaviour is largely the same when you booked the holiday less than 2 months ago?? I don’t think it’s really fair to blame the airline not being accommodating when you felt fine to just book a regular seat with no considerations to anything else.

You will probably need to phone up and see if you can pay to swap to another flight with free seats at the back.

Sirzy · 22/08/2023 16:39

Brilliant have a wonderful time!

Soontobe60 · 22/08/2023 16:39

ChangingTheNarative · 22/08/2023 16:38

Thank you everyone! I've spoken to a really lovely man and he's sorted the back seats out but we just need to provide the harness ourselves so I'll look at the ones suggested.

Thank you so much everyone, I'm so relieved!

Excellent! Hope you all enjoy your holiday x

Soontobe60 · 22/08/2023 16:38

I’m assuming you’ve read this info?
https://www.tui.co.uk/discover/disability-and-autism-friendly-holidays#:~:text=ON%20THE%20PLANE&text=If%20you%20have%20a%20disability,or%20carer%20join%20you%2C%20too.

Is there any mileage in asking TUI to change your holiday? It seems that it’s far easier to get an appropriate holiday before you book rarer than trying to adapt an existing booking with hindsight.

Original poster
ChangingTheNarative · 22/08/2023 16:38

Thank you everyone! I've spoken to a really lovely man and he's sorted the back seats out but we just need to provide the harness ourselves so I'll look at the ones suggested.

Thank you so much everyone, I'm so relieved!

OP posts:
FloweryName · 22/08/2023 16:35

If they insist all harnesses have to go on the back seats then I’d hope that it really so for some safety reason and not for something to do with their convenience and I suppose they just have to be given the benefit of the doubt.

It does look like there are some good options for you to look into and discuss with the airline. Don’t back down easily! No one likes sitting in the back row of a plane so it’s likely that anyone who’s chosen and paid to book those seats has done it so they can sit next to whoever they’re travelling with. That could surely be accommodated elsewhere if the airline make the effort. If they can’t they should be helping you find different flights that work.

Whatever happens I hope you get an outcome you’re happy with.

El4nor · 22/08/2023 16:32

Have you come across the leckey firefly Goto seat. Can apply for charity / family fund funding is a few hundred pounds. Can use that plus normal airline seat belt. If on a local asn network someone may be able to lend you obe.

Original poster
ChangingTheNarative · 22/08/2023 16:30

TropicalTrama · 22/08/2023 16:30

Also what airline OP?

It's TUI

OP posts:
TropicalTrama · 22/08/2023 16:30

Also what airline OP?