Airline cannot accommodate disabled toddler

Nothing to add apart from check in to assistance as you get to the airport. Say you need assistance straight through ( not just to the aircraft ) and they'll help you fast track through security. I travel with my disabled mum and an extra pair of hands through security is a godsend.
And I hope you all have a lovely holiday

The special tomato seat stays stable without strapping it to the back of the seat when you pull the base out slightly away from the back of the seat so the special tomato seat is in recline slightly even though the plane seat isn’t reclined, then let gravity do the work with DC sat in the seat. You use the plane seatbelt too. I’m not explaining this very well, but I will PM you where you can find more information including photos/videos.

So pleased you're sorted, OP. Have a fab holiday when the time comes.

Oh, and you're doing great

@OvertakenByLego how do you fit the special tomato to the airline seat if you don't strap it down?

Just interested for future travel!!

As a parent to a child with SEN you honestly don't think the OP wouldve thought it through herself already. C'mon.

I'm sure OP know what her and her own child's needs and capabilities are flipping heck.

So many arseholes on this thread.

Take a look at yourselves FFS

the britax eclipse is a forward facing car seat suitable up to 18kg which is flight approved for many airlines. It’s discontinued but plenty available second hand which would be fine for the plane. You need to buy the airplane belt for it though. I’ve also known some people get the Joie Steadi on planes but that’s not specifically CAA approved.

I haven't read all the posts however I wondered is it worth asking the consultant who diagnosed your son regarding a suitable harness? One that wouldn't restrict him too much and still allow him movement? Some consultants are good on suitable types of equipment or medical staff in the department or within the child development unit may know? Just an idea.

Op, have you really thought about a long haul flight? The have a ASD child who is 5, and we haven't booked anything yet due to the flight. Imagine putting your child on the sofa for 10 hours and not moving. Is he really going to be able to cope with that without a meltdown? Could this be quite distressing for him?

Some do. BA don’t allow it or at least didn’t when I last checked. Virgin, Emirates, Jet 2, Oman Air, Ryanair and Qantas definitely do. You can’t put the strap around the seat, but that isn’t a problem, you don’t need to. Tryb4uFly is worth looking at. You can try a special tomato seat on an aeroplane seat there.

I didn't realise some airlines allow Special Tomato seats, we have a Firefly but my little one hates it whereas he's comfortable in his Special Tomato, I was thinking of taking him away next summer so that's useful to know, thank you.

Oh I despair too. DS1 uses a special tomato seat or stabilo and they are allowed on some airlines and not on others. It is frustrating.

I hadnt realised they had specific rules on them, thanks for links. I didn’t even think to check when I used ours, as I decided it was an “extra” safety thing that was necessary to us. Technically at the time DD was safe in her own seat, but I didn’t think the lap belt would be effective enough. I get not using them around the emergency exit seats. But they are unobtrusive for other passengers. I’m not arguing with you BTW - I just sometimes despair about health and safety going a bit mad, loads of extra rules. I say that and HSE is my husbands job! I absolutely do get it! But this seems a bit crazy to me. I really feel for the OP.

Oh I'm sorry I just read the thread properly and see you already answered my question.
Glad you got it sorted!! X

Hey can I ask (not being goady at all just not understanding) why he needs a harness on the plane? My son has a genetic mutation causing severe autism / developmental delay and intellectual disability. He uses the normal seat belt on the plane. I'm just wondering why this isn't possible? But as I say not being goady at all, just trying to understand your specific situation which is obviously different to mine!
I've felt rather stressed about traveling in the past but it usually turns out better than I feared!
Good luck and I hope you find a solution that works for you.

If you don’t want to pay to buy one it looks like you can rent one from here from £15: https://tinyexplorers.co.uk/product/kids-fly-safe-cares-child-airplane-safety-harness/

I should add that I didn't want the airline placing restrictions on us which happened to friends, so I preferred to just manage things myself. By 6 she was much more predictable but we found travelling by car and ferry easier (I lived overseas prior hence lots of long haul planes)

Double check the car seat situation because I think it's the opposite, you can only use forward facing seats. Ok mine are adults now but I used forward facing car seats on planes until they outgrew the harnesses, my eldest is autistic. I also never told the airline about her autism nor asked for extra help. All families can bring on compatible seats. The only thing I would note that if you fly into USA or Canada seats must be faa compliant (my graco ones were)

The only approved harness across all airlines is the CARES harness; and that doesn't need to go on the back seats, it can be used on any seat.

That depends on the airline. See my pp, Virgin state it does need to be the last seat.

Also for future reference OP, the US based carriers are much more accommodating as they’re not legally allowed to refuse a FAA approved restraint eg the cares harness

The only approved harness across all airlines is the CARES harness; and that doesn't need to go on the back seats, it can be used on any seat. I think whoever has been talking to you at TUI is misinformed; although they're probably trying to help.

The car seat argument is a non-starter; there are no British seats that meet the requirements anyway. You can sometimes get a couple on board; but you run the risk that they'll be checked into the hold as they shouldn't be used on the plane, and taking that risk wouldn't work for your toddler.

I wonder if there's a charity or other organisation that would lend you one of those £3k restraint harnesses you mentioned? Or rent one to you for a small fee? Surely people don't buy them outright just for an occasional plane journey! It's worth a google.

That depends on the airline. Virgin state it must be in the last row. BA that it can’t be used on a seat on an emergency exit row or the row either side.