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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"You guys"

118 replies

BadMotorhomeParent · 21/08/2023 18:19

I hope it isn't only me, and of course, our team of women were fantastic (note: I am not really a football follower - but did watch lot of the match yesterday), BUT, I really hated it this morning when (R4) a message of support and congratulations was broadcast (by the writer of Bend it Like Beckham I believe) and I lost count of how many times she said "You guys"......

If there was ever less of an example of a bunch of guys, it would be when referring to a team comprised 100% of women!

OP posts:
Iphianassa · 22/08/2023 00:18

CrazyArmadilloLady · 21/08/2023 23:59

Those who agree with the OP - which word would you use?

Team, players, footballers…

MysteryBelle · 22/08/2023 00:17

I use the word guys as a neutral term like mankind etc. But I can see your point at the same time. You know what’s worse than that though? Being called a dude 😂 There is absolutely nothing dude-like about me, a petite small boned female with feminine features and mannerisms. I guess some think of that word as all encompassing but I’m like, I’m not your dude. 😂😂

Iphianassa · 22/08/2023 00:16

FeigningConcern · 21/08/2023 23:33

I used to also use "peeps" . Used to be popular in the 90s - comes from Harry Enfield playing Stavros.

Show quote history

That makes sense. The colleague was a teenager in the 90s and probably watched Harry Enfield.

CrazyArmadilloLady · 21/08/2023 23:59

Those who agree with the OP - which word would you use?

coffy11 · 21/08/2023 23:48

surreygirl1987 · 21/08/2023 23:43

I am so fed up of people getting worked up over semantics and word choice.

But language matters. Language is not just a representation of thought, but it also influences thought. Read some Orwell.

OP, I'm with you.

Yes language matters. The message it sends is that men are the default and women just have to fit around that. It may seem trivial but it's not really.

It's this everyday sexism that's really hard to change as you can see from this post where people don't see that it's a bit deal.

DiscoBeat · 21/08/2023 23:45

Obviously the meaning has changed - it really doesn't just mean men these days.

surreygirl1987 · 21/08/2023 23:43

I am so fed up of people getting worked up over semantics and word choice.

But language matters. Language is not just a representation of thought, but it also influences thought. Read some Orwell.

OP, I'm with you.

LaPerduta · 21/08/2023 23:40

malmi · 21/08/2023 18:51

Guy is traditionally used to refer to a man but it is slowly becoming neutral when used in the plural and then just means people. It comes from Guy Fawkes who was a person.

A male person!

bladebladebla1 · 21/08/2023 23:37

Hope you're ok

CrazyArmadilloLady · 21/08/2023 23:37

As you can see OP, there is no one word that will keep everyone happy.

So it’s your turn to be offended when someone says ‘guys’, and my turn to be offended when someone says ‘ladies’. And virtually everyone’s turn when someone says ‘yous’.

Swings and roundabouts!

Mumof2teens79 · 21/08/2023 23:35

I have been told some women object when it's used in a mixed group as they think it excludes them. But I can't help but use it as my kids use it...its really common in US kids TV.
If used for a group of women it's clearly not overlooking those women is it.

I have also heard women object to being called ladies, girls, peeps, folks and many other things, you can't please everyone.

ThinWomansBrain · 21/08/2023 23:34

I find it far less offensive than 'girls' which I have heard endlessly on broadcast media- I presume they are all adults in their 20's.
Ladies a definite NO
'Hey, women' sounds a bit odd

I even find lionesses in itself a bit weird - in the sense of most female actors dodge the label "actress"

Don't really see what's wrong with "Hey, Footballers" TBH

NoPazuzu · 21/08/2023 23:33

I've always used guys to refer to any group of people, I have done for decades and so do people around me. My mum used to refer to me and my sister as guys back in the dark ages when we were children. Also folks, which I once saw a thread on mumsnet complaining about.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that mumsnet isn't real life.

FeigningConcern · 21/08/2023 23:33

Iphianassa · 21/08/2023 22:59

I am old and used to being thought of as the second sex. Male as default, “man embraces women”, and so on, etc.

“Guys” does not include me. “Women” or “people” does.

I’m a secondary school teacher. If I were addressing a school group I might say “everyone” “y9” “people” or perhaps “class.”
I probably wouldn’t say “girls” and/or “boys” unless they were y7 or perhaps y8. I might say “ladies” or “gentlemen” in a very slightly chastising way up to y11 (eg “hurry up, ladies”).

I have a colleague who says “peeps” (short for people?) but I find that a bit twee.

I used to also use "peeps" . Used to be popular in the 90s - comes from Harry Enfield playing Stavros.

Clefable · 21/08/2023 23:32

The undertaker we used for my mum called me pal all the time (we are in Scotland), I actually found it weirdly comforting and reassuring. He was a big bear of a man, just one of those people who you feel 'safe' around, if that makes sense. Not really on topic, a PP just reminded me of it.

I don't care about 'guys' but generally try to use 'folks'. I do sometimes use 'guys' to round up errant children actually. 'RIGHT, GUYS, TIME TO TIDY UP'.

UsingChangeofName · 21/08/2023 23:29

I am more than happy with the term 'guys' to describe a group of people, but someone on MN will be offended whatever collective word is used.

I would probably have said 'girls' - "So proud of those girls" etc - but there are posters on MN that get apoplectic when that term is used.
'Ladies' doesn't sound right to me (nor many others n this thread it seems).
Guys is fine by mean. Language evolves and it is used for 'a group of people' nowadays rather than men.

FeigningConcern · 21/08/2023 23:25

I've always (ie for over 20 years) used "guys" to mean both men and women in this context.

Marblessolveeverything · 21/08/2023 23:15

Well I hate "ladies" or "girls", guys has always been used here to describe a team or group of either or mixed sex 🤷‍♀️.

AmazingSnakeHead · 21/08/2023 23:11

In my book, "guys" is gender neutral. But then again, so is "dude". I once had to endure a male senior colleague explain to me why it was sexist to use "guys" to refer to a mixed group. I told him I thought that men policing how women refer to one another was sexist.

Iphianassa · 21/08/2023 23:06

@Blanketpolicy , showing my age again, but “Guys and Gals” reminds me strongly of Jimmy Saville. Ugh!

I prefer “Gals” to “Guys” but like neither when referring to groups of women.

Iphianassa · 21/08/2023 22:59

I am old and used to being thought of as the second sex. Male as default, “man embraces women”, and so on, etc.

“Guys” does not include me. “Women” or “people” does.

I’m a secondary school teacher. If I were addressing a school group I might say “everyone” “y9” “people” or perhaps “class.”
I probably wouldn’t say “girls” and/or “boys” unless they were y7 or perhaps y8. I might say “ladies” or “gentlemen” in a very slightly chastising way up to y11 (eg “hurry up, ladies”).

I have a colleague who says “peeps” (short for people?) but I find that a bit twee.

Blanketpolicy · 21/08/2023 22:43

I am absolutely ok with and use the word guys myself and see it now as unisex.

If the alternative is "gals" I'll stick firmly with guys. Something about that word that just sounds harsher and less friendly to me.

Doyoumind · 21/08/2023 22:30

Yous is not perfect! Quite the opposite.

SoftFootballSkills · 21/08/2023 22:27

You're absolutely right OP. Couldn't agree more.

Liverpudlians say "yous". That's perfect. Wish it would catch on. Informal, friendly and gender-neutral.

KarmaStar · 21/08/2023 22:17

What a happy soul you are.😂😂😂

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