Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hubby going out again

36 replies

jeallybellybean · 21/08/2023 15:28

Hi,
am I being unreasonable?
my husband had a leaving do with all his work colleagues, as their team were all made redundant. He didn’t leave straight away and was kept on for another couple of months due to company needs.

He’s now doing odd days to help out for a few hours a week until the end of November whilst he works at his new job, but he is by no means an employee like he was. His old team want to arrange a leaving so for him with some current employees, but I thought their big night out before the summer was their team big leaving do where they all exchanged gifts with each other etc and said goodbye.

i feel like it is just an excuse for a night out together. I don’t mind their night out just don’t like the reason for it. I feel a bit weird about this as they never used to all go out together as a team and weren’t that close and now it feels like they are having a night out for the sake of it. Am I wrong to feel this way?

OP posts:
TheFlis12345 · 21/08/2023 15:42

The intricacies of leaving do etiquette really isn’t the issue you should be focusing on here.

Original poster
jeallybellybean · 21/08/2023 15:39

Just to confirm, you’d go on a leaving do with your team that’s for you too. Where you all exchange gifts and say goodbye to each other because it’s a leaving do for you and all your team, only to have another leaving do because you kind of haven’t left yet but they have got someone else in for your old role and you don’t have a job there any more? Are they going to exchange gifts all over again?

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 21/08/2023 15:37

So he is a controlling, manipulative cheat?

I won't even bother asking why you are still married to him.

Original poster
jeallybellybean · 21/08/2023 15:37

I don’t think he likes me going out because he doesn’t trust me… because he doesn’t trust himself.

OP posts:
WhatWouldHopperDo · 21/08/2023 15:36

Following the massive drip feed, he’s a dick. Why doesn’t he like you going out?

YouHoooo · 21/08/2023 15:35

The fact that he doesn’t like you going out is the problem, not that he is.

What he’s doing sounds totally normal!

Original poster
jeallybellybean · 21/08/2023 15:35

He has cheated on me before too- an affair that lasted six months so the crap excuse for the night out worries me

OP posts:
Original poster
jeallybellybean · 21/08/2023 15:34

Whenever I want to go out, I have to have a reason for it. Or he just argues with me so I never go out. Or he says money is tight.
the reason for him wanting to go on a big night out just seems a crap excuse for a night out! Rather the honesty that they all wanna meet up than a fake label if that makes sense.

OP posts:
ReignOfError · 21/08/2023 15:33

YABU. The bloke can make new friends/change the nature of his relationships with people/have a night out now and again if he wants to, unless there’s a massive backstory about affordability or his problematic behaviour when he’s out.

DustyLee123 · 21/08/2023 15:30

It doesn’t matter why they are going out.

GameOverBoys · 21/08/2023 15:29

What’s wrong with a night out for the sake of it?