Husband won't spend time with me

Sometimes actions speak louder than words in these situations. You have asked for more consideration and personal time and you are not getting it. Now you need action. First accept and really believe that you are as entitled to as much free time as you husband ...not easy I know when you have a toddler and are pregnant. Then take time for yourself ..at least one of the week nights and Saturday or Sunday. Doesn't matter what you do without .. cinema library out for coffee/lunch with friend ext. This puts your DH in the same position he's putting you in ...leaving you alone with toddler. This is sometimes enough for realization to occur and time out of the home is reduced...doesn't like the trade off. If not it still establishes you are entitled to a life as well. Worked for friend. Just be ready for a handover as he comes in door. Or tell him you are going out before he's up at weekend. Sudden opportunity for lunch with friend...or taking car for long walk at beach as have realized how beneficial exercise is and you need some too. If even these tactics don't work and make him realize that you need time time away from toddler too then you do have a big problem. I know this doesn't obviously answer issue of time together but it can be a spin off. Friends DH found he would rather have together time than be left in total charge of baby and small child. Hope it can be sorted before baby arrives op. 💐

Tell him to stop taking the piss.

He can't go out to a BBQ and get drunk tonight, because you're not well and he needs to look after his son.

Gay or using it as an excuse to meet other women and party.

Is this friend rotating through friends? As in, really good friends with someone for let's say 6 months, then that person is never heard of again, then another friend for 1 year, then another, then another.

Also, you need to sit your DH down and say this is not acceptable, maybe even write down the number of hours he spends with his new friend. Being replaced by this friend when you were going to buy a washing machine shouldn't have happened, that's a decision you should have been in on, the friend is not going to use it, is he?

I have a feeling your DH is so desperate to have a male friend he's easily manipulated by this person and that person might be doing a friendship version of love bombing.

This. You need to have a conversation with him and make some decisions for you. No doubt he'll kick off and say you're 'controlling' etc etc, be prepared.

He sounds a bit ridiculous

You are a single parent now in all but name.

It doesn't sound like he's gay just that he still wants to be a 'boy' and do 'boy' things like gym, nights out drinking and BBQs - and, at 26, doesn't sound even remotely ready to be a parent.

Yes, you could try and sit down and talk to him about it but sounds like it'll more than likely end up in a row. Plus, I frankly wouldn't want to be with someone who had to be told they should be with me. This should be obvious.

Aside from all that, he's clearly just not being honest with you - this would be the biggest red flag for me. No one goes to the gym for three hours a day, six days a week (unless they are an athlete!). You're entitled to know what he's really doing with this time - especially if you're at home sick.

If he can't/doesn't want to take your feelings into account, then you might need to decide if he's really the person you want to raise a child with.

You need to have a chat. He cannot behave like a single man when he has a child and pregnant wife.

If your husbands friend has newly become single he could be really struggling so it's nice he has your husband supporting him.

However I would be having a chat and saying that he needs to make more time for you. You need to have a compromise, so talking it through rather than demanding he stops seeing his friend will be much more productive.

He's opting out of being a partner and being a parent. Time to ask him if he wants to remedy it or not.

Unless he is a professional athlete, there is no reason to be at the gym for 3 hrs at a time. My husband is fit and lifts weights every day, but no more than 45 minutes.

A friend of mine is having a similar problem with long term partner. They aren't gay but in a very infantile male friendship. Her partner is a recovered alcoholic and the new friend caused him to relapse and note he has diabetes. She is so fed up thinking of parting as they are glued to each other with bad habits.

I'm with the others, my immediate thought was your partner is gay.

Why aren’t you more angry, OP? Your DH is leaving you alone to cope with a child, and especially when you’re pregnant and suffering.

You need to find your anger.

Also, is it possible DH is gay?

Have you actually spoken to him.
Told him that he needs to look at his priorities.

I don't think gay, I think young and finding it hard to accept he's a family man now. 26 is young in male terms anyway.

I would discuss with him that it's too much OP and that he has to grow up as he's a father now. He can still have fun with friends but it comes secondary to you and DC

Mate! Your husband is gay/bisexual.

is he gay?

furious not curious!

Go to the gym 18 hours a week? Carrying on going when you are sick? Yanbu. I'd be curious and looking to have a very serious chat about what is acceptable.id say gym twice a week and boys night out once a month. If he won't budge I'd be thinking about leaving. He's hardly there anyway.

That is not on OP! Who needs to go to the gym 6 times a week. You should have words. This is totally unfair on you.

Could it be more than friendship? Sounds rather intense.

His behaviours embarrassing.you need to put a rule down that he saves the weekends for the family. Sorry Op. I hope he sees the light and starts giving you the time and attention you deserve. Some men can be like this and tbh I don't think they actually realise what they're doing. They're just a bit stupid.

Was the pregnancy planned? I say this as it sounds like he is trying to be 'young' again - single without responsibilities. I am assuming the new friend is single. As its a recent thing, maybe becoming a Father is scaring him. Have you tried talking to him about it? Abandoning you when you are ill and pregnant is not on - neither is ditching joint weekend plans to get drunk with his mate