To not understand this

He knows. He just doesn't care.

Or I guess you could have an honest chat and tell him you are looking for more and require some commitment from him. Even if that is just in the form of you are exclusive. Sounds like he is scared of having loads of stress from a relationship again.

I would play him at his own game. Keep seeing him but start dating other too. You might find a better connection with someone else or you might find all of a sudden he can see a relationship with you.

He is not committed to you and just wants to have all the benefits of a relationship without taking the next steps.

Personally I wouldn't continue it unless he commits as after 6 months he should know if he wants to be with you.

That's understandable, all the best and positivity

You sound naive OP. Have some self respect and backbone and bin him.

He’s giving your tiny crumbs of love and attention but not the whole cake. He’s saving that for someone else and keeping his options open and why not? You are fulfilling everything he needs without any of the hard emotional work and commitment that comes from being in a relationship. He is not your person and you can ( and will) do much better but you need to sweep the dickheads out of the way to make room for the right one.

I had a few of these. One of them I fell hard for and really thought I would change his mind. God I cringe at my younger self now but it's fucking hard when they like you but not enough. 😢

With utter fucking bells on. I was exactly here too and I hate him now. Dump this twat instantly, as for that stroke my hair comment... RANCID!

"he said he wants me to come round and stroke his hair and make him feel better and tell him everything is going to be ok?"

He's a grown man who's acting like a little boy who wants Mummy to "kiss it better".
Tell this latter-day Peter Pan that your name isn't "Wendy" and you're off to get yourself a real man,

Then do just that, and do it now.

Urgh! Did he also ask you to sing Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty to him?

he said he wants me to come round and stroke his hair and make him feel better and tell him everything is going to be ok?

Ewwwwww this would make my vagina clamp shut like a vice around him forever. So self-absorbed and pathetic.

I was in your exact position. For 10 months and he utterly broke my heart.

All along he was honest about not wanting commitment, really enjoyed my company, wanted to keep things separate (kids, friends etc).

I stayed because I thought he’d change his mind. We had an amazing connection and had so much fun together. He told me he really cared about me.

The reality was, he had the girlfriend experience with none of the responsibility. He didn’t have to consider me in any of his plans outside of us. Was pure selfishness on his part.

I was his emotional support, sex on tap, child free fun.

We had all this exclusively btw, he wasn’t interested in anyone else but ultimately, that counted for shit because he still didn’t want a relationship with me.

My advice would be to leave now before you get any deeper into it.

Don't give him the perks of a relationship, see if he sticks around.

He's a waste of space.
Why enter into a relationship then decide you don't one?
Don't be one of those women that put up with this crap and lower the bar.

I actually only comment quite rarely but, OP, please, please end it with this man. He doesn't care enough about you. I'm sure he's nice enough but he's totally self absorbed and you deserve someone that is really clear about his feelings for you.

The stroking his hair line is also incredibly cringey.

He's happy with the illusion of a relationship, regular company with someone he knows and probably does care about- but is also able to shag someone else guilt free

In the nicest possible way OP, you’re clutching at straws.

throw him back, you’re not even on the same book let alone same page.

Oh god

I'm *NOT talking marriage!!

He wants his cake and eat it.

Possibly with some sides elsewhere.

6 months is long enough to make a decision. Commit or not (I'm talking marriage!). Do you want to be just some girl to him though?

Sorry missed your last two posts before I answered. I'd be kind of pissed if I were you. So he expects you to make him feel better because he has potentially upset you. Absolutely not.

The weekend away isn't a sign of commitment it just shows he enjoys your company. Its easily cancelled if needed it also could be him "throwing you a bone' to ease what hes saying. He's been very clear doesn't want a relationship so you can either stay in dating phase or split up. The issue is if you stay you are alway going to be waiting/hoping for him to change his mind which is not a healthy place to be . If he wanted to commit he would and he doesn't. Personally I would protect my own feelings and move on than risk caring more for someone who doesn't want to invest in me.

You're fulfilling a lot of his needs whilst he's waiting for someone better to come along. It's really hard but I would consider ending it to protect yourself.

I once heard someone counsel there's only two types of marriages that work. First is when you are both equally in love with each other. Second is when he is more in love with you than you are with him. And she's right.

So, nah sis, sack him off

The stroking hair comment has given me the ick. 🤢

Narcissistic, self-indulgent little wanker. Tell him to fuck off OP and that you're not a support human.