Why does anyone ever get married?

I got married because of my kids. Im now divorced and I would rather shit in my hands and clap than ever get married again!!

Legally, it is far easier in so many ways and is definitely not just a piece of paper! Personally, because I love him and want to be married to him. I have friends who bitterly regret not being married and would have done so with the benefit of hindsight.

I married him because I love him and wanted to be his wife. I still feel the same 20 years in. He’s a wonderful husband and father, pulls his weight, treats us all brilliantly. I’d marry him again a million times over.

Those in happy marriages aren’t here telling their side so it’s a very unbalanced view.

The only reason to get married imo is for the legal protection it brings if that applies to you. There are plenty of other ways to show you love someone. No one is doubting the level of commitment in long term non married relationships but it's not the same, and for good reason. The legal aspects need a knowing agreement and commitment on both sides hence the witnessed signatures, not to be something that can be entered into unknowingly or just because you have been together for a certain period of time.

I didn't marry one of those men. You won't hear from women who married one of the good ones because we don't have anything to complain about or ask advice on. The sample of husbands you see online is bound to be of the dregs from the bottom of the gene pool. It's not representative of the whole world of married couples.

I personally married my husband because I love him and wanted to be married to him. 17 years and no regrets.

Please tell me you're being sarcastic right?

I married my husband because we loved each other and wanted to make a lifetime commitment to each other. We also didn't want to have children without being married. Maybe it should have been a consideration, but finances didn't come into it for us.

I read somewhere that "marriage is betting half your money that your relationship will survive - and I don't like those odds" and it rang true for me.

I am unmarried by choice. I have a 4yr old and I live with her father (we've been together about 8 years). I came into the relationship with more money and assets than him. I didn't want to give him half of that if we ever split up. I work and earn my own money. We don't really share finances. I can easily get by and provide for my DD by myself should we ever split up. I am not financially dependent on him. We have a joint account for bills but generally the rest of the money is our own to do with as we please. We both have wills written up leaving our things to each other should we die. I just don't feel a need to get married.

I got married in 1990 without cohabiting first. Plenty of people still did at that time. Still together and happy.

Thats an interesting post about road testing before marriage lol. It used to be really common to live together for a while before getting married to see if you were compatible but no-one seems to do that any more.

I mean, plenty of people live together without being married, but it's more for convenience and financial reasons than as a "trial marriage".

I road-tested mine by living with him for four years before getting married, so I knew it would be okay - this period included several crises we needed to weather as a unit, so it was a pretty good indicator of how things would be long-term. And thus it has proved, 20 happy years later.

We never had children, but I would have wanted to be married to him anyway.

I've just started a thread in chat in honour of good spouses

Theres lots of nice husbands around.

I got married for the legal protection too as I knew I wanted to be a SAHM for the first few years. Gotta work till i'm 67 so plenty of time to catch up in my career.

and it seems that nearly all the problems are women living with selfish pigs of men - those who don't look after their own kids (babysitting your own kids, really?); don't lift a finger in the house; don't 'allow' partner a lie in; don't respect anyone or anything in the home etc etc etc. It makes me wonder why anyone gets married or has more than one child (one being easily transportable right out of the situation)

I married him because he wasn't like that.

Also, I wanted to.

Really? It wouldn't have crossed my mind that that was even a thing these days.

I only got married because we were working overseas and were required to be married for work permit reasons.
Marriage means nothing to me. I'm not religious. However, as my career definitely suffered due to be expats I guess I like the security it brings. Not that I'm planning on divorcing my husband.
I took his surname when we got married and I really wish I hadn't. My maiden name was quite shite though.

I got married to have my children. For the legal protection. I don’t think a divorce would be particularly difficult? I didn’t change my surname either.

same. I very much thought of marriage as a legal package first and foremost and I’m quite happy with it ten years on.

Because, even today in 2023, many people still look down their noses at children born out of wedlock.

It's a legal document that makes us both each others next of kin and protects us. I love my husband and I don't see any of the behaviours you listed in your OP in him. But to be fair, most women aren't going to start threads on here talking about how nice their husbands are.

I married young (early 20s) because I was in love and wanted to spend my life with him. Also, it's the custom in my family and religion to marry. Simply moving in together never crossed my mind. I wanted commitment and security for any children we might have. (Not saying that's only possible with marriage, but it does offer legal protections and when done 'right' means that both people are serious about staying together for life.)

Is marriage perfect? No, and many who marry do so for the wrong reasons or choose the wrong person. Even when you go into it with your eyes open, marriage has ups and downs, but for many people the pros outweigh the cons.

You'll never get a balanced view of marriage in a place where many women write specifically because they are in bad relationships and are seeking advice. People are more likely to write about problems than their positive experiences. You might as well ask why everyone on MN seems to have horrible neighbours, awful jobs, and selfish friends.

This seems a weird take to me, and kind of sounds defensive in tone.
So those of us who married 20+ years ago only did so cos we thought we had to? Or for social media? Seems like you're describing a very niche subset of married people here.

If you meet someone and love their company and enjoy living together, and so on, then great. But so, so many people still marry because they think it’s what you’re supposed to do. There is still a stigma to being a single woman over 30. It’s something we really need to break. Far too many women (and men) put up with miserable, awful marriages because they’d feel ashamed to be single. We’d all be better off if being single was the norm and people only formed relationships because they loved being with the other person, not so they could plaster photos all over social media.

Exactly. :-)

I wouldn't get married again for sure. I have too much to lose. My house and a decent pension not to mention my Ds's inheritance.
If someone loves me he is going to have to do so without marriage.