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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To start playing video games?

171 replies

Daisy523 · 12/08/2023 22:19

I was never crazy into video games like a lot of people around me, but I always played Sims pretty regularly as I was growing up. I stopped playing around the age of 19/20, when I was deep into college and starting my career. It’s been a few years since, and I’m pretty settled in my career and have graduated not once, but twice.

Now that that’s all done with, I’m finding myself with nothing to do. I work and sleep, and don’t do much else. I have severe social anxiety, so going out or partying was never something that interested me, and I’m not too bothered about tv or books. I don’t have any other hobbies I enjoy either. The only thing that looks somewhat fun is picking Sims back up.

Problem is, I feel stuck in the idea that video games (Sims especially) are childish wastes of time. That it’s stupid for me to spend time playing video games when I’m in my mid 20s.

AIBU?

OP posts:
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abdulloh21 · 12/02/2024 08:54

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

porridgeisbae · 01/11/2023 00:30

I think the Niantic AR games are good as they encourage us to go out/move a bit more.

porridgeisbae · 01/11/2023 00:26

I'm in my 40s and only started playing Pokémon GO and Pikmin Bloom relatively recently. If you enjoy Sims then go for it.

vasco · 30/09/2023 02:47

Daisy523 · 13/08/2023 13:48

Honestly I wasn’t expecting this response when I posted. I expected to be told I was being silly and it was time for me to grow up, not be told I should go for it.

I also wasn’t expecting so many wholesome stories of people older than me finding joy in playing games with their spouses and children, or even just alone to relax after a hard day.

Thank you everyone for encouraging me to find joy where I can!

Looks like you spoke too soon. There's always one...

Coulddowithanap · 30/09/2023 02:41

Good to hear you are enjoying sims again.

Gaming is definitely not a waste of time, it's just a hobby at the end of the day.

I'm a massive tomb raider and fall out fan and could easily spend hours playing these games. Oh the untitled goose game is fantastic.. I play that with my son, in fact we game as a family. Get all 4 of us playing Mario kart and we have a great evening together.

PeggyPiglet · 30/09/2023 01:59

Do it.

I was a gamer for 10 years. Not so much nowadays with a young child but back in the day my husband and I ran a guild on World of Warcraft and enjoyed every minute. We have so many good memories, and made lots of good friends. We still meet up with them every now and then.

I've also played Hogwarts legacy, Forza, Halo and Skyrim.
I recently picked up Microsoft Flight Simulator and that has opened up a whole new world for me.

I am now properly training for a pilot's license and potentially a new career in aviation as a result.

It's an awesome hobby.

Just a word of warning: look after your back and posture. Those years of WoW killed my posture and I've spent alot of money on chiropractors recently.

Natalya123 · 30/09/2023 01:30

Make sure to watch in high resolution.

Natalya123 · 30/09/2023 01:29

I can't wait for this. When my mate sent me the link I clicked play without reading and took a good few seconds to realise it was actual gameplay! 🤯

Unrecord - Official Early Gameplay Trailer

Here's your look at early gameplay from Unrecord, an upcoming single-player FPS that tells the story of a tactical police officer from the perspective of his...

https://youtu.be/IK76q13Aqt0?si=a21JcjZmtV9tIJn_

Domino20 · 30/09/2023 01:02

Dropthedonkey · 29/09/2023 20:38

I've tried to play fortnite and am so bad at it it did not relax me at all! Something like a Lego game I'm happy with Grin

It's REALLY hard. I've started to improve now that there is a version without the need to build. I often play online with my neighbour and he would quit the game in a huff as soon as an opponent started building around him. That level of dexterity is definitely for youngsters!

AutumnColours9 · 29/09/2023 21:14

I'm a gamer and don't see it as a waste. Life's hard and anything that gets you through is welcome relief!

XenoBitch · 29/09/2023 21:10

FrontEnd · 19/08/2023 20:57

Everything in balance. My video gaming is 90% standing up (VR) and can get pretty active if I'm doing a Les Mills bodycombat sesh, beatsaber etc. I also play a competitive skill type game and through that have interacted with plenty of real people that I've really valued, from a vast array of countries and backgrounds I'd never get to know otherwise. Different from face-to-face, sure but in many cases more rewarding and a lot more fun than the normal ones I get to meet 😄

Same here. I meet up with my best friend in VR, and we play various games together with the bonus of keeping fit in the process.

Dropthedonkey · 29/09/2023 20:38

I've tried to play fortnite and am so bad at it it did not relax me at all! Something like a Lego game I'm happy with Grin

Domino20 · 29/09/2023 14:55

I'm 53 and play fortnite most days. It's soooo good for anxiety as it's actually impossible to maintain any kind of focus on your inner daemons while playing something so immersive.

Original poster
Daisy523 · 20/08/2023 10:07

troubleanstrife · 19/08/2023 21:15

Haha well you are quite right! I have been ill all day as had several teeth removed and have spent today mumsnetting in bed. Maybe my frustration about that is showing in some of my replies!

Show quote history

Ouch!!! There’s nothing worse than dental pain 😭 Feel better soon!

OP posts:
Original poster
Daisy523 · 20/08/2023 10:05

troubleanstrife · 19/08/2023 20:38

Sure. It’s just that the OP said she had no other hobbies. And for a person like that, I wouldn’t recommend video gaming.

Just my opinion, I don’t expect everyone (or even anyone) to agree with me, but the OP asked, so I am sharing it.

Show quote history

No other hobbies as in I don’t meet up in groups for book clubs, or go drinking down the pub. I do other things like cooking my own food, walking my dog, meeting up with some friends/family at the weekends, etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Daisy523 · 20/08/2023 10:02

troubleanstrife · 19/08/2023 20:19

Well, I wouldn’t personally recommend video games.

Sitting is terribly bad for your health. video games will suck you in and take up all your time and leave you with nothing to show for it (as you may remember from your Sims days! It certainly drew me in when I was 16/17 too, and I could easily play for 5+ hours straight).

I think life will be more fulfilling if you can get out to do real things with real people and move your body a bit. And yes meeting new people is exhausting as an introvert, I am one myself, but they’re only new for a while and then they become friends. Then you have new enriching relationships in your life. So much better than little computerised people.

Ok but what if I do all these things anyway? My social life was actually better as a teen than it is now, and I’d easily sink 2 hours a day in Sims back then.

I work full time, so I get out into the “real world” everyday. There’s never a day where I don’t go outside at least once or twice, with work, errands, meeting up with some friends/family.

I only play games in the evening time, when there’s a good 2-3 hours to waste before I fall asleep.

OP posts:
Nemesias · 20/08/2023 05:36

troubleanstrife · 19/08/2023 21:15

Haha well you are quite right! I have been ill all day as had several teeth removed and have spent today mumsnetting in bed. Maybe my frustration about that is showing in some of my replies!

Show quote history

Perhaps if you’d been spending a few hours on a good game instead you wouldn’t be so grumpy and judgmental.

MN is worse for your mental health than playing a good game for a few hours

troubleanstrife · 19/08/2023 21:22

TrudyCampbell · 19/08/2023 21:18

Ouch! you have my sympathy.
hope you feel better soon Flowers

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Thanks 😊

TrudyCampbell · 19/08/2023 21:18

troubleanstrife · 19/08/2023 21:15

Haha well you are quite right! I have been ill all day as had several teeth removed and have spent today mumsnetting in bed. Maybe my frustration about that is showing in some of my replies!

Show quote history

Ouch! you have my sympathy.
hope you feel better soon Flowers

TrudyCampbell · 19/08/2023 21:15

troubleanstrife · 19/08/2023 21:09

Okay - well that sounds great! You sound like you have an interesting and fulfilling life, of course I have no problem with that.

The OP said she doesn’t have any hobbies, she just works and sleeps. She is mid 20s, with social anxiety.

I just thought it might be better for her to have a hobby that gets her out into the world a bit. Something that will help her tackle and hopefully overcome the anxiety eventually. 20s is prime time to be meeting people and finding out more about yourself as an adult. I would worry that with video games as her only hobby she would be missing out on the many opportunities we have when young to live life to its fullest. Plenty of time to sit at home on the sofa when you’re 45, knackered and have dodgy knees!

Having said that, I have now read all her posts and she seems super happy and excited about playing the Sims again, so I do feel a bit mean. I guess my advice would just be to go easy on it and try a few other things alongside it too.

Show quote history

OK sorry cross post, you have been reasonable. Which is nice to see.

troubleanstrife · 19/08/2023 21:15

TrudyCampbell · 19/08/2023 21:12

Well troubleanstrife I've just searched your history and from what I can see you've spent quite a few hours today, yesterday and the day before posting on MN.

should you not be out there being a mover and shaker in the real world making more connections and experiencing life to the Max?

Why is your down time hours on MN ok?but others down time hours playing a computer game to be looked down upon?

Haha well you are quite right! I have been ill all day as had several teeth removed and have spent today mumsnetting in bed. Maybe my frustration about that is showing in some of my replies!

TrudyCampbell · 19/08/2023 21:12

Well troubleanstrife I've just searched your history and from what I can see you've spent quite a few hours today, yesterday and the day before posting on MN.

should you not be out there being a mover and shaker in the real world making more connections and experiencing life to the Max?

Why is your down time hours on MN ok?but others down time hours playing a computer game to be looked down upon?

troubleanstrife · 19/08/2023 21:09

TrudyCampbell · 19/08/2023 20:55

but these are down time hobbies, I have a horse that takes up plenty of time outside doing physical stuff, I have friends I've met down at the stables and through horses. I go to the gym once a week when I can be bothered. I go to a yoga class when I can be bothered too.

I work flexible hours that range from 25 to 40 hours a week. I have friends at work, I have friends local and far away. which I keep in regular contact with.

but when I'm knackered and worn out and just want time for me, instead of watching eastenders, corry or emmerdale.
I pop the ps or xbox on (we have both as dh games as well) and settle into a game, which keeps my mind active and relaxes me.

I have MMOs(multi player)that I play and have regular people I interact with on there, one or two are now FB friends, we message each other and keep up with each others real lives.

for games which are single player there are FB groups that I join to discuss the game with other people.

most games you can pick and put down, even in my live mmo games unless I'm I the middle of a boss fight you can just put it down at the drop of a hat.

what is really so bad with having down time? watching telly, MNing, watching tiktok, YouTube, knitting, colouring are all ways people unwind.

We cannot be productive every hour of the day, we cannot be in constant conversations with people.

and then you have the parents who don't get to go out for lack of babysitters or money, but they can enjoy themselves playing games instead of just flopping exhausted down infront of the TV for a couple of hours before going to bed.

Show quote history

Okay - well that sounds great! You sound like you have an interesting and fulfilling life, of course I have no problem with that.

The OP said she doesn’t have any hobbies, she just works and sleeps. She is mid 20s, with social anxiety.

I just thought it might be better for her to have a hobby that gets her out into the world a bit. Something that will help her tackle and hopefully overcome the anxiety eventually. 20s is prime time to be meeting people and finding out more about yourself as an adult. I would worry that with video games as her only hobby she would be missing out on the many opportunities we have when young to live life to its fullest. Plenty of time to sit at home on the sofa when you’re 45, knackered and have dodgy knees!

Having said that, I have now read all her posts and she seems super happy and excited about playing the Sims again, so I do feel a bit mean. I guess my advice would just be to go easy on it and try a few other things alongside it too.

FrontEnd · 19/08/2023 20:57

Everything in balance. My video gaming is 90% standing up (VR) and can get pretty active if I'm doing a Les Mills bodycombat sesh, beatsaber etc. I also play a competitive skill type game and through that have interacted with plenty of real people that I've really valued, from a vast array of countries and backgrounds I'd never get to know otherwise. Different from face-to-face, sure but in many cases more rewarding and a lot more fun than the normal ones I get to meet 😄

TrudyCampbell · 19/08/2023 20:55

troubleanstrife · 19/08/2023 20:31

Interesting question!

Colouring in - I wouldn’t recommend that as a hobby either, again lots of sitting and no social interaction. I guess I see it as less harmful though because people don’t tend to colour for hours at a time (or maybe they do?! I’m not a colourer!) it seems more like something would do for 15 mins here and there, like a jigsaw.

Knitting - Still the problem of loads of sitting, but I feel more positively about it because you are making something real that can be appreciated by yourself and others. Also, knitting is also something you can pick up and put down and multitask while chatting to others, listening to the radio, sitting in the garden, being a passenger in the car, waiting in the dentist’s surgery - etc!

The thing with gaming is that it keeps you in the same place, absorbs all your attention, for long stretches of time.
,

Show quote history

but these are down time hobbies, I have a horse that takes up plenty of time outside doing physical stuff, I have friends I've met down at the stables and through horses. I go to the gym once a week when I can be bothered. I go to a yoga class when I can be bothered too.

I work flexible hours that range from 25 to 40 hours a week. I have friends at work, I have friends local and far away. which I keep in regular contact with.

but when I'm knackered and worn out and just want time for me, instead of watching eastenders, corry or emmerdale.
I pop the ps or xbox on (we have both as dh games as well) and settle into a game, which keeps my mind active and relaxes me.

I have MMOs(multi player)that I play and have regular people I interact with on there, one or two are now FB friends, we message each other and keep up with each others real lives.

for games which are single player there are FB groups that I join to discuss the game with other people.

most games you can pick and put down, even in my live mmo games unless I'm I the middle of a boss fight you can just put it down at the drop of a hat.

what is really so bad with having down time? watching telly, MNing, watching tiktok, YouTube, knitting, colouring are all ways people unwind.

We cannot be productive every hour of the day, we cannot be in constant conversations with people.

and then you have the parents who don't get to go out for lack of babysitters or money, but they can enjoy themselves playing games instead of just flopping exhausted down infront of the TV for a couple of hours before going to bed.