Tradwives

Spot on. It's also a kind of showing off, because let's face it, not many families can survive on just one income these days.

100% this. When they spout off without acknowledging the freedoms that they have, they sound very thick indeed.

I think you should be able to live the life you wish to, and if you can afford it and want to (and have financial protection/or are married etc) - then be a SAHM if you want.

But framing and context is important - there’s a difference between a SAHM as agreed by both partners that it’s what works for the family and she’s valued as part of an equal partnership - than someone who is a SAHM and must ‘submit’ to her husband and have no say in how the household is run or family decisions. I’ve seen quite a few ‘tradwives’ who belong to the latter, and there’s sometimes an alt right association as what a woman ‘should’ be, which makes me uncomfortable.

This is an excellent point. Raising the misogynists and rapists of the future.

In the vast majority of cases they have been raised (indoctrinated) to believe this as a part of a very strict religious upbringing.

Who does it benefit, do you think?

Is this the same as the “surrendered wife” notion years ago? It sounds like a false construct for all concerned and leaves women vulnerable financially etc.

I cant really get worked up about it. At least both parties know their roles. How many women do we see on mumsnet working full time, earning more than their husband, doing all the housework, cooking, making his lunch packing, planning, childcare arrangements and rov5iding weekend entertainment to the kids?

To top it off, these issues usually only become apparent after the woman has started a thread about the husband feeling hard done by for some reason, like not getting enough sex or wife unenthusiastic about paying for and entertaining her stepchildren all weekend whilst ill while he goes to 8 hours of football with his season ticket, that she paid for of course.

Arguably those women have it worse all round.

This is all great if your husband is decent, pays for your pension snd gives you your own money. Often the ones who want a tradwife are not. They go out and shag other women even they should be 'working long hours to provide for the family'. It's all a silly fantasy. A bit like the #lazy girl trend. They monetise not doing much, by selling their apparent lifestyles to gullible followers. At least the Lazy girls can get a better job when they get bored. The Tradwives are left with multiple children with an absent father and no skills or means of supporting themselves.

probably all fake anyway. SM is a place for fantasy. I doubt that's how they actually live their real lives? but if they do and it makes them happy... Good for them?

It’s the children in these families I feel sorry for.

for The girls no value is placed in their education - they are trained to see themselves as less then men.

the boys grow up to believe women should serve them. I manage a lot of men and you can tell the ones who really struggle with a female boss.

I think people are welcome to make that choice if they want, though as @EvilElsa says, some of the tiktok/YouTube tradwives also feed into far right conspiralunacy as well unfortunately

It wasn't "gwenthemilkmaid" was it? She's gone from doing ASMR on YouTube and OnlyFans to being tradwife/anti vaxx etc. If that's the life she wants to lead that's up to her obviously and has no effect on me. I just wonder how they suddenly decide this life is what they want?

She knowingly let a pedophile around her children. When he's released she'll do the same. I hope they're all taken away from her. It's disgusting.

It's tiring and hard dealing with reality and responsibilities. Being a tradwife is a way out of that.

A bit like conspiracy theories are a way out of dealing with the fact life is random.

It's a game of make believe.

Look at Anna Duggar! Raised to be a docile ‘helpmeet’ with no agency of her own. Married off at 20 to a young man whose family knew he was a predator. He is now jailed and she is left with seven children, no way of supporting them, and a whole world around her telling her she would be committing mortal sin by divorcing him.

In many ways I’m too old to give a shit how other people lives their lives as long as they’re happy.
Nevertheless, like all things, this premise works of the people involved are decent.
If a wife is treated with respect by a husband who loves her and cares about her happiness then all is well.
If she is beaten emotionally and physically then perhaps a lifetime of submitting to his will is not so glorious.
But…if submission is all, then she should be happy with it and accept it. Therein lies the rub.
All human systems are fallible and only work by consent.
This surrendered wife concept does the round every decade or so and has been around for long long time.
I’m not one. Could not be one. As above, I cannot entrust my happiness to the whim of another just because he has a penis and has a right to make my decisions for me because of it.
I think wives who submit do so under the assumption that all will be rosy. When it isn’t the wheels fall off the bus and the have no security and no way of going. It’s really tough. I am too old to have sympathy because it doesn’t take a leap of genius calculation to understand the ramifications of being a dependant.

I was about to say like the pp working in Bible Belt that I have had brushes with the religious man-is-the-head-of-the-family movement and watch a whole family of different daughters who are conveniently conventionally slim, hot and personable and all post on insta. One is phenomenally successful as a social media presence and yet has to pretend that it’s alll her sweet but rather directionless husbands idea and strategy, and now because she is so naturally talented and successful he has come in to ‘share’ her success and so it’s turned from a perky if v religious woman engaging very naturally with content on how to run your house mega efficiently and organise your life to her sitting on a sofa staring adoringly at him while HE talks and nodding supportively in some places. If he just supported her from the background to do her thing on insta and YouTube, they’d be so successful and raking it in. But because they have to keep resetting and defaulting to ‘he’s the head and I submit, he’s such a great guide and leader for our home, I just so grateful for his wisdom’ bullshit their content is now odd and static and boring. It’s lost all her freshness and spontaneity.

Exactly. Then what will they do with no work experience.

Its all fine until the husband finds a perky younger version when she’s just about at the most depleted part of her life physically and hormonally.

I work in a major hospital in a Bible Belt US city. These women are becoming more common, but I will say it's like a game to most of them. They don't ACTUALLY not have to work, they don't ACTUALLY have to dress up every day, they don't ACTUALLY have their man's permission to go out, they don't ACTUALLY have to follow his commands and never say no and the rest of the bullshit.

One came in for an abortion without her husband's permission or knowledge, for example.

They'd feel differently if they didn't have choices, instead of just liking to pretend that they don't.

Personally it sickens me, but as long as they're choosing to play dress up and they're happy, women should have the right to do what they want.

Case in point!

Exactly @NumberTheory her being a grad wife is literally her job, she records everything she does in a big show and puts it online, monetised to earn an income. It's a job which if she was actually a TradWife, she wouldn't have because her husband would be the breadwinner and she would not be earning.

It is just a grift - obviously the women who really believe this stuff don’t prance around on the internet.

The one who goes to work has it easy. Minimum 8 hours a day at work, no house work, child care, domestic duties. Just come home and eat dinner.

It's a total grift - like that Andrew Tate character, because you don't need to advertise it on the internet as if it was some new unheard of concept.