Tradwives

@Bellyblueboy well that's the way you're taking it that's fine. I found it demoralising when I didn't know basic things and it was my husband who taught me how to clean properly.

I would never want my children to be adults and be resentful I didn't teach them how to be efficient adults.

If that's what him and his wife agreed on and it works for them, I'd support and be happy for them

@vimtogirl i am sorry but I still see sexism in your posts.

you only mention career in reference to your boys.

I think the gender roles are so engrained you don’t see it. The man works and the woman cleans. Men should have a career. You don’t want you son to be jobless and you don’t want your daughter to now know how to clean. Those come out as your biggest fears for your children.

Career = boy
Cleaning = girl

I mentioned I want my son to have a career as I wouldn't want him jobless!

Would you be happy if he was a stay at home dad?

@Bellyblueboy my son will learn exactly the same, as I mentioned, to know how to run a household.

I think every single human female or male should know how to cook and clean.

I don't think I've explained properly

I wrote in the paragraph that both of them will learn to run a household and I said my daughter is free to do whatever she wants to do but as a bonus she will Atleast know how to cook and clean just like my son.

I think you lot like to pick and choose what you read!

Of course I want my daughter to know how to cook and clean just like my son! I mentioned I want my son to have a career as I wouldn't want him jobless!

And to the person who said she hopes my daughter recovers from her childhood. She's fucking 5. She has an amazing childhood. It's me who had to recover from a childhood where my mother couldn't teach me basics such as how to wash and fold clothes, clean a bathroom, cook a decent meal.

Is seems large swathes of Christian fundies in the 'States spout this BS on the regular.

I think my brain would die being a trad wife. They have a choice to do that and choose not to go out after dark etc. If there ability to make those choices were taken away and they were forced to live like it then it would be a different story.
I think these ladies also forget that their husbands can become totally alienated from their wives - if a person has no life outside the home and makes her husband and children her whole life it could become tiresome. Plus it's lots of pressure being the sole provider - I didn't realise how much until my partner was a sahp, its like this whole level of extra self imposed pressure. Same if one person has to make all descisions, it makes other person child like. What do these women do if men leave or die and they have never paid bills or organised money?

Equality is a long way off isn’t it.

what hope do girls have when they are raised this way.

These kids are tiny - yet low ambitions and household duties are being foisted in the girl while the boys are being set up to strive for success.

I truly hope @vimtogirl ’s daughter grows up to be a successful business icon. I hope she has the confidence to know her worth and overcome her upbringing. It took me years.

I wonder are her sons told they can be SAHP’s - I wonder are they told it would be embarrassing if they didn’t know how to clean?

God that's depressing.

Daughters should learn to cook and clean while sons should pursue a career?

Your poor daughter and your poor future DILs (assuming that they're straight and that they can actually persuade someone to marry them).

You'll raise them as equal but hopefully your daughter will know how to cook and clean, and your sons will have a career?

It is interesting. That you don’t want your daughter to be embarrassed by not knowing how to clean and you want your sons to have a career.

a lot of people would have worded that I want all my children to be successful independent adults who know the basics about running a household.

you focused o. Your sons for the career and your daughter for the cleaning.

maybe an bias creeping in there that you aren’t even aware of?

@Bellyblueboy I have a girl and a boy and another boy on the way!

My children are 5 and 2 so right now surviving the small child days but ideally I'll raise them as equals, my boys will learn to run a household just as my daughter will. I want my sons to know a woman's worth and my daughter to appreciate a man's worth (and hopefully recognise a decent worth while man)

Hopefully my daughter will be a well rounded woman who can cook/clean and choose her own path whatever that might be! (I had to self teach my self everything as I wasn't taught anything growing up and I don't want my daughter to feel awkward not knowing basic cleaning like I did!)

Hopefully my sons will go on to have a career which they enjoy and know how to treat their wife (whatever path she takes) and respect them and their choices and be a husband that they would be proud of, I don't plan to raise him to expect to be catered for!

Regarding driving.. my husband usually drives (I like to get the down time in passenger seat) but I drive too and sometimes feel like driving and will

As I type, I have my 2 year old son attempting to "pair socks" and occasionally swiping the skirting board with a baby wipe and my daughter is playing with barbies

out of interest do you have girls or boys or both?

what do you teach them about gender roles?

does the man automatically drive in your family? Does he pay when you go out for a meal? Do the children see the man taking charge and the woman making his life easy? Do the boys learn how to do household chores - or will they expect a woman to always pick up after them?

I do see this in work a lot - men suggest coffee mornings as fund raisers but never make a cup of coffee or bring in a bun. Disappear when it’s time to clean up. Men sit in meetings and expect coffee to appear infront of them (even when they are the most junior people in the room). Men walk away from a meeting room and never think to tidy up. Men talking over the top of women in meetings and assuming any female i. The room is junior to them. Because this is what they saw at home. Women are there to look after men.

of course everyone has the freedom to choose their own path in life - and being a SAHM doesn’t mean your kids will grow up to be sexist. But you also need to be mindful of the stereotypes that kids pick up on.

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves I was sadly too gobby for the lifestyle and married a rebellious man from the same unbringing(engaged at 19!) and it came quite naturally after we had children. However it never quite leaves you, that was my entire influence for the first 25 plus years and the first few years of my marriage. These are not extreme churches at all really...there would be at least one in every town and city in the UK.

Dh and I often agree we could do with a housewife… we hired a cleaner but someone to sort school and club admin would also be great. We both work ft.

A good friend of mine won't leave the house even for 30 minutes without asking her DH, if we are out for a walk and I asked her to grab a coffee after she would phone him
Urgh, jeez that's a whole new level and fuck that! Nope no way that's just control

So?
That's a valid choice.
Can't be doing with others thinking that's awful, blah blah.
When ours were kids, I stayed at home for 15 years as a SAHM.
Each to their own and what works for you

I'm a "trad wife" but before I got married and had children, I worked, educated myself and have a good career to go back to if I want to.

I chose to be a traditional stay at home mother and wife and align to these values as part of my religion also!

I think what these young girls are influencing is a complete fantasy and they will soon get bored of that "trend"

But that’s the point - someone with a ‘tradwife’ does none of that other than go to work. They have someone at home doing absolutely everything else and they walk through the door to a clean house with a meal on the table.

Obviously someone doing all the work to keep the family going at home as well as working in a paid job doesn’t have it easy - @FormerlyPathologicallyHappy was talking about people where the roles in the family are split between the husband who works and the wife who stays home and saying the person who works has it easier than the person who is expected to do everything else.

How hard it is to be a single parent (and I completely accept it’s very hard!) is completely irrelevant to the point being made,

No they don't.

It's a 13 hour daily extravaganza for me going to work, factoring in the time I get up, travel there, work, travel home and arrive. I don't just come home and eat dinner. I have to cook it.

With sleep that gives me 4 hours a day to do all the housework, DIY, cooking, gardening, shopping, (then there's washing up, putting shopping away, simple things that take time), life admin, then there's animal care, an attempt at self care and a social life.

There's just me to do everything.

Hmm... are you a troll? Or just misogynistic and a bit dim. My money's on both.

But this is Christianity patriarchy /quiverfull type stuff rather than just insta trad wives right?

So in that case definitely not playing at it and much more deeply toxic.

I hope you’re safely out.

It comes round every 15 years or so

A previous iteration was The Surrendered Wife.

Feminism (not "women's lib" , barf) is and always has been about the oppressive effects of patriarchy. Choice does not exist in a vacuum.