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Original poster

Made MIL cry?!

818 replies

Didntmeanto6 · 12/08/2023 10:16

I have always had a clash with my MIL because I find her controlling and she often tries to undermine me. My DP (8 years) sees her every day in the morning and she was telling me that she sometimes makes him a packed lunch 🙄 I said he is a 43 year old man I'm sure he can organise his own lunch, she said "yes but me I love my son" (emphasising with her voice that it must be in contrast to me).
I began to lose my temper a little so I said "do you warm some milk for him too?" and she said "listen it's simple, I am the first woman of his life", and I said "true but I will be the last".
Then she started crying and ran out of the room.
Now DP is saying that was insensitive of me because she lost her husband 6 years ago.
I am considering telling him he needs to deal with this situation and tell his mother to back off.
What do you think? In case it's relevant we are all from the same non UK European country

OP posts:
Cap89 · 12/08/2023 10:32

Didntmeanto6 · 12/08/2023 10:26

@Cap89
I didn't even consider I was referring to her future death! I just thought I would give her what she gives me, because why not? To me she is looking for confrontation with many of her comments, so what should I do, just sit there?

What did you mean by ‘and I’ll be the last?’ That definitely sounds like you’re saying she may have been there at the beginning, but when you’re gone there will only be you.

AuntieSoap · 12/08/2023 10:32

I think what you said was pretty mean and unnecessary. You didn't just stoop to her level, you went lower. It sounds like you really wanted to land a low blow but I bet it doesn't feel good.

So what if she makes his packed lunch, it's just a nice thing to do. You put her on the defensive by having a go about that.

Elvis1956 · 12/08/2023 10:31

So you're upset that your mil makes your dh lunch? Why? Mil often gives a packed lunch to my dw, she enjoys doing it, feels like she's being useful, it's a way of showing she cares. Plus if you live alone it's very difficult to get small one person packs of ham, cooked chicken etc especially if you don't eat a lot yourself.
It's also saving your dh a few pounds...I can't see the issue. It sounds like you are jealous of their relationship. It's good that he sees her every day, without impacting on your relationship with him

frazzledasarock · 12/08/2023 10:31

That conversation was never going to go well.

She wanted an argument she got one.

Let her get on with babying your partner, but honestly I’d find it very unattractive if my DH went to his mummy to make him a packed lunch every day. It’s more how your P behaved than your MIL.

Curtains70 · 12/08/2023 10:31

You were over the top, I always come away from my mums and MILs with food 🤣

Original poster
Didntmeanto6 · 12/08/2023 10:31

@Sparklfairy
Why should I just roll my eyes? She is the one who started down this path. I don't believe just because she's his mother I need to listen to:

  • her insinuating I'm a bad woman for not making this adult man a lunch
  • her insinuating she loves him more

...without responding

OP posts:
crostini · 12/08/2023 10:31

I think you started it.
Why can she make her son lunch?
You started it with the milk comment.

Her comment about the first woman in his life is icky and I hate that mentality, but you sound as bad as each other.

SylvanianFrenemies · 12/08/2023 10:30

You sound as bad as each other.

FigTreeInEurope · 12/08/2023 10:30

Nice burn! She might think twice before crossing your boundaries n

Sparklfairy · 12/08/2023 10:27

Gosh you lost your rag and got spiteful real quick didn't you?

You couldve stopped at the first comment, and eye rolls to replace the rest.

I see a lot of threads on here where 'I made MIL cry' and think it's manipulative dramatics by the MIL but you went below the belt. I'm not surprised she cried.

WandaWonder · 12/08/2023 10:26

She did not kill someone, far out talk about being dramatic

Original poster
Didntmeanto6 · 12/08/2023 10:26

@Cap89
I didn't even consider I was referring to her future death! I just thought I would give her what she gives me, because why not? To me she is looking for confrontation with many of her comments, so what should I do, just sit there?

OP posts:
enjoyingscience · 12/08/2023 10:26

I think you and your MIL have an awful lot in common

Testina · 12/08/2023 10:26

She sounds a proper cock and I’d keep my distance. But you were out of order weighing in about the packed lunches - not your business.

Interesting that you choose to MIL bash when she’s actually doing a nice thing (even though it’s irritate me too). Yet you’re not husband bashing.

Why are you having a go at her and not your baby man child husband who is happily using her good will?

Because if you have an excuse for him taking it, then you’re as bad as MIL is, and doing your own equivalent of warming milk for him 🤷🏻‍♀️

So unless he’s told her time and again not to, and making his lunch is her only pleasure in life, and he’s dropping it to a homeless person daily… then you’re a hypocrite.

Chappers001 · 12/08/2023 10:25

Seems a little out of proportion to be honest OP, who cares if she makes him a packed lunch really? Unless there's a lot more going on in your relationship will MIL then I wouldn't cause upset over things like this as it'll backfire and cause problems in type relationship with your husband too

NewIdeasToday · 12/08/2023 10:25

It sounds like you were very unkind to your MIL.

Cap89 · 12/08/2023 10:24

She does sound overbearing and like she babies her son, but I don’t think referring to her future death was particularly helpful! You clearly snapped, but I do think this one probably warrants an apology. I understand you don’t like her, but you were in the wrong here in my opinion.

DustyLee123 · 12/08/2023 10:21

So don’t see her. You sound controlling yourself.