Made MIL cry?!

Op can I also ask what your parents are like are they less nurturing to you? Do you think there is perhaps some jealously here?

You sound like the DIL from hell.
You are trying to find problems where there aren’t any.
She enjoys making her son food, so what?
Her husband has died, and you implied she will be next.
You sound jealous and petty. She isn’t doing anything to hurt you.

When you say 'go for an argument' you mean answer you back when you chose to tell her off for making his lunch. You massively overstepped OP. It's none of your business if she makes his sandwiches as its between him and her. She responded by telling you she loves him. Which you chose to go into a huff about and see as criticism of you.
You sound like someone who likes your own way and takes a pride in 'winning' arguments. Well your barb cut deeper than hers and made her cry, so well done you.
In your shoes though I'd seriously think of the long game here. Scoring childish points by being nastier than his mother is is not going to result in your long term happiness with this man.

I'm going to buck the trend on here and say that people treat you the way you let them.

Lots of people, including your MIL, take people doing things differently from them to mean that you think their way is wrong, feel insulted and then lash out to challenge.

She started it. You finished it. She knows you'll meet fire with fire now so may well adjust her behaviour in future.

Sometimes turning a question back on the person is enough (without going too low). My response to my MIL's query about whether I "liked my hair like that?" was "yes, do you like yours like THAT?" so no escalation but simply serving back what you get.

If she apologises too, for the sake of peace, perhaps you should as well.

She would annoy me too but at least you save money by her feeding him. Probably I would have said something too but not mention being the last woman. If you don't get along with her just try to see her as little as possible.

This. You started it. So what she makes him lunch. Why the bitchy comment about milk?

She responded appropriately to your nastiness and then you took it too far.

I know! My mum still sometimes gives me cup up apples on a plate it's so cute. I will do the same for my little boy even when he's 75 if I'm still here!

If I had a boyfriend that made a sarcastic remark about the apples, to my mum, I would put him straight in the bin!

She sounds a total pain in the neck. But you will never win in this situation. Have as little to do with her as possible. It simply isnt worth engaging as you will end up the villain as happened here.

I hug my friend up kids. Is is allowed you know

I wouldn’t have taken offence at what she said about loving her son, or thought she was implying that you didn’t? I’d have just laughed at the ridiculousness of her making an adult man lunch and moved on. I think it’s weird you two fighting over him like that. I don’t see my MIL as a threat or competition? It’s like a totally different relationship! There’s space for you both in his life, why argue?!

You both sound equally mean and petty.

She made him lunch, what's the problem with that? She is his mother. I'm 50 my mum sometimes makes me lunch, I have grown up kids I sometimes make them lunch. When my teens are grown I will no doubt sometimes make them lunch. Woe betide anyone who tells me not to

But would you make nasty critical comments to his mum about it, in her own home?

You started it with your snippy comment about warming his milk for him. Making hi lunch isn’t looking for an argument, it’s doing a nice thing.

And you’re clearly looking for an argument on here.

And there’s no guarantee you’ll be the last woman in his life….

What if her cooking is shit though?

Op I don't think it was her looking for an argument she just said she makes him lunch sometimes and that triggered you. You then started criticizing her saying he's old enough to make his own, she felt she had to defend what she does and you made the nasty milk comment. Just let her be proud of feeding her but it's a primal mother thing. She never SAID you should be feeding him. She likes feeding him and he likes eating what she makes.

I definitely think you should apologize for that comment and maybe be humble and open and admit that I'm sorry I took it as criticism that I don't cook enough for him and felt defensive,, but I know on reflection that's not what you said, it's what I felt you meant.

I also don't think you should move far away when you have kids she'd be a great help and you'll love her bringing meals over when you have a newborn and no time to cook!

There’s obviously no love lost between the two of you but you are being very harsh to her. So what if she makes her son a sandwich, she’s been doing it for 43 years and it’s probably a routine for her. Why are you trying to control your DP

If you dislike her so much why are you even calling her your MIL - you’re not married to her son.

She was being an asshole. What else were you supposed to respond to a comment like that? She tee’d it up for you. She only has herself to blame. It’s really sad that she lost her husband but it’s not an excuse for crap behaviour.

Having said that, I’d let her make the packed lunches. She’s not doing any harm and as a gesture I’m sure it comes from a kind place.

I wish my mil would give my husband cooked food to bring home for us 😅 you don’t know what you have. She didn’t sound like she was being nasty to you she just likes to spoil her son- it’s annoying but not nasty.

I love your response OP, it was unnecessary what she said and you shut her down. Well done!
The fact she makes her 43 year old son a packed lunch is major ick- I wouldn’t find my husband attractive AT ALL if he visited his mum every morning to collect his packed lunch, but that’s just me 😊

This. It's not a competition, a mother's and a lover's love are different and both valued.

😆😆😆

As for demanding an apology, talk about controlling and self absorbed. No wonder he’d rather spend time with his Mum.