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Original poster

Disability Social Workers

113 replies

OoopsOhNo · 12/08/2023 08:22

When you have a severely disabled child, you are eligible for a bit of respite. If you need anything above the bare minimum level of respite, you usually need a social worker.

What this means, in some areas, is even if you have done nothing "wrong" as a parent, to get any rest you need to:

  • Agree to be on a Child in Need plan (and go to meetings)
  • "Safety score" your family at every CiN meeting, and believe it or not there is a right answer as '8' means you don't get services and '5' is child protection enquiry. Professionals also score you.
  • There is a note at the bottom of the CiN that says although it is voluntary, if you "disengage" the LA can choose to step it up to a Child Protection matter.
  • Agree to visits of your home (usually every 6 weeks) and you have to show them your child's bedroom. There is also a little box on their forms which asks if they have seen the child alone.
  • Tell every hospital you take your child to that they have a social worker.
  • The schools treat you differently (sometimes there is a big advantage to this, for example our schools remained open during strikes to children with social workers) but sometimes it comes with an extra level of sort of concealed monitoring that you can tell is safeguarding tick boxes.
  • They haven't with us, but they can and do make comments about parenting which wouldn't meet the normal "thresholds" for intervention. I know MN always says Social Care don't have time for this, but perhaps there is an exception for people already open to them?? I have several friends who have experienced this.

I hate it. It is completely humiliating and it makes me just want to run away from it all (which of course we can't because we have a social worker...) Now, I understand some of the reasons - in theory - why it's like this (disabled children are particularly vulnerable to abuse) but it also feels like using a risk factor to exert coercive control over parents who happen to have had a disabled child.

I also know many parents who don't ask for extra respite because they don't want this.

AIBU to think it shouldn't be like this?

OP posts:
OvertakenByLego · 12/08/2023 20:44

SOSSEN is completely overwhelmed by requests for pre-action letters at the moment. I don’t know whether they have reopened their list now, but they had closed it.

Purplepeaches123 · 12/08/2023 20:41

Polik · 12/08/2023 20:39

I'm DSL in a school on the boarder between two local authorities.

In one LA, all children with an EHCP are automatically also on CIN Plans with CIN meetings

In the other LA, children with disabilities get a named SW with the children's disability service, who is their advocate and contribute to EHCP reviews. Not CIN Plans tho, they are only for safeguarding issues.

Agree it must vary between LA’s. My son is an adult now but as a child we never had anything like that.

Purplepeaches123 · 12/08/2023 20:40

My son is an adult now in his twenties but as a child under 18 he had respite for years. We never had to sign anything or tell anyone he had a social worker.

Social services will more than likely be paying the cost of the respite so of course they need to be involved. The SW did visit every now and then and just used to poke her head round the bedroom door but it definitely wasn’t every 6 weeks. The only thing that really used to upset me was when my son turned 18 I had to apply to the Court of Protection for a Deprivation of Liberty because we locked doors sr night to keep him safe so as he couldn’t leave of his own free will the COUP has to agreed that’s ok!

Polik · 12/08/2023 20:39

I'm DSL in a school on the boarder between two local authorities.

In one LA, all children with an EHCP are automatically also on CIN Plans with CIN meetings

In the other LA, children with disabilities get a named SW with the children's disability service, who is their advocate and contribute to EHCP reviews. Not CIN Plans tho, they are only for safeguarding issues.

Cubic · 12/08/2023 20:35

Sossen can do pre action letters

OvertakenByLego · 12/08/2023 20:21

OoopsOhNo · 12/08/2023 20:15

@OvertakenByLego doesn't matter how many times I remind my LA about this, my DC is still without an education. Awful situation.

You can enforce provision via judicial review if necessary. Email the Director of Children’s Services reminding them of their duty under s.19 of the Education Act 1996 (and s.42 CAFA if DC has provision detailed, specified and quantified in F of an EHCP that they are not receiving) and threatening judicial review if they do not comply. If that doesn’t work, you need a pre-action letter.

Alongside the above, you should request an early review of their EHCP or request an EHCNA if they don't already have an EHCP.

Original poster
OoopsOhNo · 12/08/2023 20:16

OoopsOhNo · 12/08/2023 19:20

@sparkiesparkle "I cannot do it again" I was on the brink of asking social care to fake my much loved, cherished DC into residential care and a massive proportion of that had nothing to do with their needs but the ritual humiliation circus.

*take

OP posts:
Original poster
OoopsOhNo · 12/08/2023 20:15

@OvertakenByLego doesn't matter how many times I remind my LA about this, my DC is still without an education. Awful situation.

OP posts:
EmmatheStageRat · 12/08/2023 19:29

OvertakenByLego · 12/08/2023 19:18

so the local disabilities team won’t take her on their case load as she has no intellectual disability.

@EmmatheStageRat that policy is unlawful. If you want to look further at this Luke Clements has written about it.

@OvertakenByLego thank you so much, I will be all over this tonight!

OvertakenByLego · 12/08/2023 19:23

PurpleBugz · 12/08/2023 17:59

My son has no school place as no school can meet need. But I have CIN meetings at my house or zoom. I can't attend them in person because I have to care for my child.

But I agree with you is invasive. We took ages to get a disability SW and I must say the disability one is better than the ones assessing my parenting saying "good parent we have no role so no help offered".

It comes down to how much you need the help. I'm desperate so will do anything

If DS is CSA and can’t attend school, the LA must provide alternative arrangements to ensure DS receives a suitable full-time education. If DS has an EHCP, you can also look at an EOTAS package via that. If the doesn’t have an EHCP, you should request an EHCNA.

Original poster
OoopsOhNo · 12/08/2023 19:20

@sparkiesparkle "I cannot do it again" I was on the brink of asking social care to fake my much loved, cherished DC into residential care and a massive proportion of that had nothing to do with their needs but the ritual humiliation circus.

OP posts:
Original poster
OoopsOhNo · 12/08/2023 19:18

Some of these stories are so sad and so familiar.

In a way I think we were "lucky" (?) that DC were so obviously disabled (non-verbal autism, intellectual disability etc) but because there is no congenital genetic difference and it is behavioural, we still get judged.

I have heard lots about NT children in ND households been classed as CiN then doctors etc treating parents as abusers. I don't have NT children though, but I know if I did that would crush me.

OP posts:
OvertakenByLego · 12/08/2023 19:18

so the local disabilities team won’t take her on their case load as she has no intellectual disability.

@EmmatheStageRat that policy is unlawful. If you want to look further at this Luke Clements has written about it.

sparkiesparkle · 12/08/2023 19:11

ASimpleLampoon · 12/08/2023 18:37

I wish you had enabled voting as I would like to see the score but a huge YANBU.

And I actually get on really well with our SW.

My child hasn't had respite for a year due to lack of care staff so it seems like a lot of interference for not a lot of support.

Yes I have two sons that should have carers and I can not find anyone. I think I might lose my hours next year, but I really am tired of the whole circus, I can not do it again

sparkiesparkle · 12/08/2023 19:08

OneInEight · 12/08/2023 12:28

And the sad thing is even when you are lucky enough to get a decent social worker they move swiftly on and you have to start the whole intrusive debacle again.

Yes. I had an excellent one, who treated me like a human being, but then I think he moved on and now I get others.

Troubledwaters2502 · 12/08/2023 19:05

So sorry I clearly wrote that in the wrong thread … ignore it !

sparkiesparkle · 12/08/2023 19:04

Yes this has happened to me. I have autistic dc and also NT dc. My NT children's teachers have always treated me like an abuser because my NT children all are apparently CIN due to having autistic siblings. Doctors appointments are awful, treated like some sort of abuser every time. It is thoroughly humiliating.

Troubledwaters2502 · 12/08/2023 19:00

my daughter aged 9 was just telling me about her “ life plans “

what did you want to be when you were younger ?
what have you ended up being ?
If you could choose a new career now, what would would you choose ?

when I was younger I wanted to be a zoo
keeper.

I am now a forensic pathologist.

so quite the jump !

ASimpleLampoon · 12/08/2023 18:53

Cubic · 12/08/2023 18:00

My son has severe needs. We have respite in the form of 2 PA'S that take him out and a pb. We do have a named sw but our LA have said we advocate too well for him and therefore don't require cin intervention. We only see the sw when we need to tweak things.

It's a double edged sword as when we need support in meetings etc we don't get it. When we went to tribunal a couple of years ago we requested that the tribunal looked at social care too (under the trial at the time). The LA assigned us a sw who raised issues with us. Funnily enough when the tribunal was agreed we went back to not requiring intervention and support from a sw.

I know many families who have been accused of fii when trying to get support for their disabled child.

It's worrying how often FII is accused when it is is supposed to be very rare

ASimpleLampoon · 12/08/2023 18:37

I wish you had enabled voting as I would like to see the score but a huge YANBU.

And I actually get on really well with our SW.

My child hasn't had respite for a year due to lack of care staff so it seems like a lot of interference for not a lot of support.

EmmatheStageRat · 12/08/2023 18:34

OoopsOhNo · 12/08/2023 17:59

@EmmatheStageRat we're waiting for the day someone calls 999, luckily our neighbours know our situation but we have had them knock on the door to check we're OK.

Why did you come off the CiN?

@OoopsOhNo it was totally shocking when the police turned up with sirens and blue lights, very late at night. Poor DD2 and I were sat in the sitting room, completing jigsaws, while DD1 raged in her bedroom. The two officers examined every inch of my home, possibly looking for drugs/alcohol? Ironically, while the police officers were talking to my younger daughter and I about what had happened, DD1 performed a miracle and turned her bedroom from a version of the local tip into something that could have been featured in a homes magazine. I was like this 🤭.

My neighbour is a very disagreeable person and I really do not want to give them further ammunition by sharing private information about my children.

Children’s services took my DD off a CIN plan without any consultation. Honestly, I think my DD doesn’t easily fall into any SS silos as although she is severely disabled, she has no learning disabilities and she is very academically able (she passed the 11+ for a grammar school) so the local disabilities team won’t take her on their case load as she has no intellectual disability.

cansu · 12/08/2023 18:33

It started around ten years ago so maybe things have changed. I agree though that what you have described is very intrusive. I wasn't comfortable asking for help from SS either and held off as long as I could. In the end ds's needs were so severe that no one could have lived with him without outside support so I had to do it. The cynic in me suggests the process you describe is why it might be done! There is no reason whatsoever to need to inspect someone's home and give scores for safeguarding because a disabled child needs respite.

Troubledwaters2502 · 12/08/2023 18:26

We have the complete opposite experience, we have had a disabled social worker since
for
9 years
we get 50
hours respite a week and 0
visits from a social worker unless I ring and need to see her for whatever reason.

EmmatheStageRat · 12/08/2023 18:23

Einevinefine · 12/08/2023 18:00

@EmmatheStageRat - hear you too.

Thank you. It’s so refreshing to be heard and understood.

gogomoto · 12/08/2023 18:17

Dsd's social worker was amazing, she coordinated complex care and education arrangements then passed her over to adult social services at 18. They didn't question dp (and ex wife) once about parenting only praising them.

Perhaps it depends a long on the nature of the disability, the fact you mention parenting makes me think it might be different if the child has behaviour issues? Dsd has a genetic disorder from birth, she's a lovely young adult but 24/7 care

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