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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this weird?

40 replies

HmmOk · 12/08/2023 07:21

I've been having counselling. Got email from counseller saying due to rewiring the building "we will meet on Zoom for our next appiontment".

AIBU and uptight in to think it should have been her asking me if I was ok to do the appointment virtually? I dunno? I've never done online counselling before.

Fully prepared to hear that I'm just behind the times now when everything is online!

OP posts:
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redpicturelamp · 12/08/2023 10:00

No idea where the strange gif came from. Sorry 😂

KajsaKavat · 12/08/2023 09:46

TeaKitten · 12/08/2023 09:44

What’s with the strange gif? Are you French by any chance?

Show quote history

I can’t answer for poster buuut I did the same thing yesterday, accidentally clicked one of those… 😱

FuckertyFuckFuckfuckery · 12/08/2023 09:44

A lovely sensible reply from @redpicturelamp 💯

TeaKitten · 12/08/2023 09:44

redpicturelamp · 12/08/2023 09:38

Hi OP

Therapist here (working remotely and face to face). Your reaction is perfectly valid, particularly in the context of your difficulties. I would never just assume a change from face to face to remote (or the opposite) would work for a client without checking first. Your therapist should have acknowledged the change might not work for you, and offered you an alternative (skipping a session / rescheduling), rather than assuming a remote session would be ok for you.

I’m sure the email was fired off without much thought - not ideal for a therapist, but we’re human and do mess up sometimes.

Do talk to your therapist about it. It’s likely to be helpful for you both to consider think the assumptions and beliefs this has activated (& maybe how your therapist can manage similar situations a bit more sensitively in the future). Good luck!

What’s with the strange gif? Are you French by any chance?

redpicturelamp · 12/08/2023 09:38

Hi OP

Therapist here (working remotely and face to face). Your reaction is perfectly valid, particularly in the context of your difficulties. I would never just assume a change from face to face to remote (or the opposite) would work for a client without checking first. Your therapist should have acknowledged the change might not work for you, and offered you an alternative (skipping a session / rescheduling), rather than assuming a remote session would be ok for you.

I’m sure the email was fired off without much thought - not ideal for a therapist, but we’re human and do mess up sometimes.

Do talk to your therapist about it. It’s likely to be helpful for you both to consider think the assumptions and beliefs this has activated (& maybe how your therapist can manage similar situations a bit more sensitively in the future). Good luck!

France Futbol GIF by World Cup
TregunaMekoides · 12/08/2023 09:31

OP - no it's not weird, just impolite. She should have worded her email differently.
I would reply saying you're happy to give it a try but if it doesn't feel right you will need to return to F2F asap, even if that involves missing a session until the maintenance work is complete.

Strugglingtodomybest · 12/08/2023 09:31

Not weird or a red flag. I would discuss with your therapist what you've said in here, how it's made you feel. Good luck with it all!

xyz111 · 12/08/2023 09:29

HmmOk · 12/08/2023 07:49

Is it a red flag?

I had opened up the other day about a past controlling relationship and she was so reassuring and supportive at the time that it wasn't my fault.

Now I suppose I'm a little worried she thinks I'm a soft touch she can boss around.

I think you're reading too much into it. If the building is being rewired, would you rather not see her for X number of weeks? This way, you can still keep your sessions.

ImGoingThroughChanges · 12/08/2023 09:28

OP ignore the unpleasant user above. If you don’t want to do it online just say so. If you are willing to give it a try I would bring up with your therapist the words that made you uncomfortable and talk it through with her. Good luck x

Bigflop · 12/08/2023 09:27

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FuckertyFuckFuckfuckery · 12/08/2023 09:27

Totally agree @KajsaKavat

FuckertyFuckFuckfuckery · 12/08/2023 09:26

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Have I hit a nerve?
You don't have to be so bitchy in your response to @HmmOk

KajsaKavat · 12/08/2023 09:25

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Most of us are in need of therapy for one reason or another. Being nasty to them when they get it is so unhelpful.

Bigflop · 12/08/2023 09:24

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FuckertyFuckFuckfuckery · 12/08/2023 09:24

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And you need some empathy
Grow up

ApolloandDaphne · 12/08/2023 09:22

I imagine she has compiled a generic e mail which she has sent to all her clients to let them know there can't be face to face and that she will need to use zoom. It's not something that needs any overthinking. Either do the session on zoom or say you would rather wait for face to face.

Bigflop · 12/08/2023 09:20

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FuckertyFuckFuckfuckery · 12/08/2023 09:12

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Don't be such a bitch
@HmmOk has said they were in a controlling relationship and now she is being told how they will communicate, told not asked
@HmmOk it's OK to say no, you can control of what you feel

TeaKitten · 12/08/2023 09:08

It’s not a red flag, you’ve opened up to her and made yourself vulnerable and you are worried she’s taking advantage because of your past experience. But she isn’t, you feel this way because of your issues. If you are happy to do the meeting on zoom just go for it.

Bigflop · 12/08/2023 09:05

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JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 12/08/2023 09:01

Definitely over thinking. Moving meetings to an online forum when face to face isn't possible is totally normal. It's not a red flag. The therapist is doing her best to make sure you don't miss a session. Just give it a try. If you don't like it you don't have to do it again.

missmollygreen · 12/08/2023 08:55

You are really overthinking this

painochocolate · 12/08/2023 08:15

You're reading far too much into it.

Some people are used to switching between zoom and in person so frequently that they forget for others that it's a "big thing". That's all.

Zanatdy · 12/08/2023 08:12

Having read your updates, with respect, you’re over reacting

Zanatdy · 12/08/2023 08:12

Fairyliz · 12/08/2023 07:24

Yes I would feel awkward and uncomfortable having a session via zoom, I hate it.
I would politely decline and ask to reschedule when work has finished.

Yes she should have asked you if that’s ok. I’d go back and say you’d rather skip this week as you prefer face to face.