People looking after children while wfh

I think so much of this depends on the parent and the child. During covid I worked from home with my daughter when she was about 7- I am a lone parent and had no one else in the house. I told her, when mummy is on a call, you can write to me and I will try and get back (she would write a note and leave it - then watch me as I wrote the answer - not much different to having a 121 chat on Zoom). I would make sure that she had her snacks, crayons, dolls, whatever she needed for the 30 minutes or sometimes an hour. Then after my calls we would have 30 minutes or so where I tend to get before getting back to work. Sometimes she would sit right next to me whilst working and she would make her own work, it became like a game. But she was so well behaved! I’d use lunchtime to cook.

I’ve taken her to work with me on emergencies and again, she behaves herself and now she is older we have a good relationship.

Sometimes the children being there is not the issue but like you said - when it’s a distraction it is and looks so bad on the rest of us that try very hard.

I often don’t tell people I have a child when I start working, as I feel that people become so biased. When they do find out they are often surprised. It’s a shame that it has to be a surprise.

I think this is true in some cases (not all of course, but some!)
During lockdown I remember there being a woman on my course who would bring her child into every single class- online zoom classes once a week. She would go to great lengths to remind us all she was a mother and how difficult it was to be a mother and studying, how being a mother meant no choice but to have her child on camera. She would constantly leave herself off mute while shouting to her partner in the house, let her child wave to everyone etc.
I can appreciate it was very cute but 2 years of that and it started to grate a bit. Especially for those of us like myself who are also mothers and managed to keep them occupied elsewhere for that one day a week. At graduation everyone was going on about how amazing she had done studying and being a mum, it did feel a bit of a kick in the teeth to those of us who had managed it with our kids off camera.
Didn't realise I needed that vent! Thank you! 💜💜💜

I just also don't understand how people do it. I had my managers sign off to have Dd while I was wfh the other day because regular childcare had an emergency and it was a nightmare. DD is 19 months so I can't speak to the needs of older children but it was very challenging. She of course needed constant attention. Ended up giving up on trying to work and just making up my hours in the evening because I was fighting a losing battle.

I work from home with children - and i ensure my meetings happen in a separate room and the children understand i am in a meeting. it’s highly unprofessional to open your camera and your kid is there - and i don’t think any management will be okay with that.

My dh works from home and I do leave the children with him for the odd errand like shopping or walking the dog but wouldn’t plan a social event (ie lunch with friends) and expect him
to cover during his working hours, nor would I do this when he has a scheduled meeting. It’s handy with my dd (10) as she often won’t want to join us with soft play … she’s old enough to be at home with dh and not cause a distraction. I have childcare arrangements in place for dd (5) for the days I do go into work. Totally agree with you, it’s people who do this that will spoil it for everyone. I know people who wfh 5 days a week and still make childcare arrangements, even at least for a large proportion of the day.

The lap thing is often that people want to show off their child but don't realise that no one else is actually interested in their child, likely usually done with pfb

Because a child can hear the conversation. Little ears generally have big gobs on them.

Thanks Brexit 😂

It is very difficult for companies to get good quality staff nowadays so I think a bit of leeway here and there helps keep the ones they have. Some people take the piss but they do ok general anyway.

Well yeh exactly. So neither is ok, but the difference is that during a meeting people can see what you're doing lol.

It's not ok to have a child there when you're trying to get work done. I'm a graphic designer, it would be way less destructive to my productivity to have my child on lap while in a meeting (with mic off) than having a child on my lap when trying to produce design work. And I imagine the same applies to most jobs (writing documents etc)

Obviously when you are on a zoom call and your child is noisy or asking for things people can also see unlike when you are working but not on zoom. 🙄

Also don't understand the distinction of it being ok for a child to be present but not in a meeting.. surely it's distracting to have a child in the room when you're trying to actually get work done, more so than when just sitting in a meeting? (Obviously depends on the kind of meeting, client facing obviously no)

It reminds me of third world countries where parents have to take their kids to work with them.

I think most of the people saying they can't afford childcare probably could if they wanted to prioritise it, over going on holiday abroad or having takeaways etc.

I don’t have kids but have every sympathy for people especially single parents who have childcare issues and I wouldn’t bat any eyelid if I knew a colleague had their kid at home, but how can anyone say it’s acceptable to have kids on screen during meeting ? Absurd and it’s also annoying for the parents who make sure their kids are sorted in other rooms.

Well in that case we've taken a massive step back in terms of child, employee and employer rights.

I think it's more a case of moving on after COVID - we're not in the pandemic anymore people need to move on from the WFH / childcare stop gap

I think there will be some people who are genuinely struggling with post-covid childcare availability but I also think there are a fair number who say that but aren’t trying as hard as they could. There are plenty of people like doctors, nurses, teachers who have to find childcare to do their jobs and they seem to manage because they have to and have no choice.

This. How can you be doing a proper days work while also looking after a child (any age). It's not fair on child, employee, or employer! I know women who have been pressured into doing this by partners who didn't want to pay for the childcare.

Not acceptable. I have my children at home while WFH but they don’t bother me. If they need something in the study, they come in quietly, pick the thing they need up and leave. They are much older however.

I wonder, do the posters who've assured us that everyone can get suitable childcare just think the people who've said they can't are lying?

*Not sure where your based but I'm happy ti give you ideas if you live in the same city as me.

Dublin

@TheKeatingFive I'm sorry but you seemed to have missed the point of the thread yourself. I'm a single parent and I work during school holidays. Childcare.co.uk is good give it a go. I'm telling you I use a holiday camp myself ot is not easy! Granted especially if you are a lone parent I can fully understand don't get me wrong. I can't support this crazy idea though.... of kids being present on zoom and left stuck at home whilst parents work. Like I said people managed before.

Not sure where your based but I'm happy ti give you ideas if you live in the same city as me.

And shockingly, a few people have emerged on this thread who have children below primary school age and babies at home with them all day, everyday. I would imagine no company would allow this, that's a whole thing altogether than primary aged kids

I had to move my Son round various playschemes during covid due to rules and restrictions it was possible during covid and is now. People just don't want to pay. I said what I said!

I don't have any problem with paying, I have a problem with the hours of camps. I've never found a single one operating 9-5. The best ones are 10-4, then there are plenty of 10-2 or even 10-1 options.

So again, if you've any bright ideas, do let me know.

It's a shame that people aren't placing their child's wellbeing over their budgets. Childcare isn't just a place to have your child looked after while you work. Childcare and holiday clubs are there to provide essential peer to peer social stimulation that when started young has significant benefits on an individual's long term health and wellbeing.

So it's not just a case of cost saving while you park your child in front of a device so you can write a report or hop on a few teams calls.

Those saying there are no places or they're too expensive, it's because you're not using them!

I think lots of people are using the 'lots of places closed during covid' as an excuse, sorry.

The reason is people don't want to pay. And I don't blame them, who would want to pay £50+ a day childcare if they can get away with wfh and keeping the child in the house. That's the same whether it's a COL crisis or not, if someone has the money or not - 99% of people would rather spend the money elsewhere.

I think having kids over say,8 or 9 at home is probably okay if they can be trusted to do their own thing with telly, toys, iPads etc, if there really is no other choice.

But where does it end though? People don't want to pay train tickets for the commute so they want to wfh. People don't want to buy lunch, get up 2 hours earlier, have the commute home etc. None of those reasons are bad as long as the production level is the same as in the office.

But when people don't want to pay childcare so they wfh, it gets dangerous as that could hard production levels. Maybe some roles you can, if you genuinely can work your own hours, but most you can't do with a young child there.

I worry where these demands will go in the end. People are already declining meetings at my company because they have to do the school run at 3pm. In their mind, their childcare needs come before meetings and work even during core hours.

In the end it will be wrecked for all of us and wfh jobs will become a rarity again. Before covid wfh just one day per week was a rare privilege in many companies and happened after you had proven yourself after a flexible working request. Now it's taken for granted.

When we are all ordered back to the office we will all be harmed - the childless people who work well from home, the mums who save 2 hours on their commute and can currently take their child to school / pick up their child from school/nursery earlier than they would in the office, the cash strapped people who are only surviving due to wfh and saving money on train fares, and just anyone else who prefers being in their own environment than a busy office. We will all lose.