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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would this put you off?

130 replies

Isleofw · 04/08/2023 11:38

I’ve been seeing a guy for a while, I’m a single parent. My DC was supposed to be staying over at my parents house at the weekend and me and him planned a date and then I would be stopping over at his house

I had to cancel as my DC was no longer able to stop at my parents house. He said I could just bring her round to his house and he’d put the tv on for her whilst we ‘get busy’think he was just thinking of one thing. He has not met her before

Would this out put you off? I said it wouldn’t really be possible as it would be her bed time and at first he said he understood but I haven’t heard from him hardly since then

OP posts:
BrawnWild · 04/08/2023 18:28

FYI, this is him at 4 months in. He is not marriage material. Imagine the effort you could expect if you married him.

This is a test of your self esteem to see if he can use you , treat you badly and still have you coming back for more. He is sussing out if you will play the victim and will probably control you later down the line

BrawnWild · 04/08/2023 18:25

Plenty of good women put up with arseholes. Dont be ine of them.

Makes my skin crawl the way he has done the work of pretending to be a good guy and is now doing nothing to interest you (dates) and is presenting the chance to neglect your daughter by putting her in front of the TV while he shags you and offering the chance to pick him up and let him shag you as the opportunity if a lifetime....pass.

Dombasle · 04/08/2023 18:18

You feel low not be use you are missing him as he is a complete and utter loser but because you enjoyed the attention and sadly your low self esteem meant you welcomed the attention of an utter creep.

You are worthy of so much more. A man who respects you, for a start.

Dombasle · 04/08/2023 18:16

You are nothing but a hole to him. Possibly two or three holes depending on what other antics he persuades you to indulge in.

Dombasle · 04/08/2023 18:15

Jesus wept.

LetMeEnfoldYou · 04/08/2023 18:13

Isleofw · 04/08/2023 17:32

Thanks everyone, I just feel unworthy, feel really low about myself now

No no no!!

You should feel fucking great about walking away!

SamW98 · 04/08/2023 18:02

Isleofw · 04/08/2023 17:32

Thanks everyone, I just feel unworthy, feel really low about myself now

Walk away with your head held high. Yes you will hurt at first but as time goes on you’ll see so clearly it’s best thing you’ve ever done.

LadyKenya · 04/08/2023 17:49

This man will do nothing to raise your self esteem from the sounds of it OP. In fact you will probably end up feeling worse, for being used. It is not worth it for the fleeting attention that he will ration out.

GoodChat · 04/08/2023 17:39

Isleofw · 04/08/2023 17:32

Thanks everyone, I just feel unworthy, feel really low about myself now

You'll feel better when you realise you were being used. You deserve better than that.

Isleofw · 04/08/2023 17:32

Thanks everyone, I just feel unworthy, feel really low about myself now

OP posts:
CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop · 04/08/2023 15:28

I know this will fall on deaf ears OP, as your self esteem seems to be in the toilet, but please do not be a wank sock for this man.

You are his chauffer too!!!

BIN HIM!!!!

You wouldn't want your kid dating a man like this would you! So have the same standards for yourself x

ManateeFair · 04/08/2023 15:26

@Isleofw You deserve someone much better than this arsehole - you will find someone lovely, I'm sure.

Isleofw · 04/08/2023 15:21

just a bit lonely and was enjoying his company but oh well

OP posts:
Chocbuttonsandredwine · 04/08/2023 15:21

He sounds vile.

you are worth so much more than this, as is your child.

don’t be someone’s booty call

eatdrinkandbemerry · 04/08/2023 15:19

My god are you really that desperate that you need to ask us lot!

Isleofw · 04/08/2023 15:17

@Humidititties about 4 months but at first he would take me out for food and drinks but that’s stopped now he just wants me to come round or pick him up

OP posts:
CouldIHaveThatInEnglishPlease · 04/08/2023 15:17

Just reply "sorry I don't think this is working out. Wish you all the best, x" and then block and delete

Screamingabdabz · 04/08/2023 15:16

QuacketyQuack · 04/08/2023 15:11

OP will continue to see him, I'll bet money on it

Yep. And will continue to post about how he treats her like shit. It’s the kids I feel for in those situations…

caringcarer · 04/08/2023 15:12

Isleofw · 04/08/2023 12:15

He has messaged just now asking if I want to come tonight but he said he will be round at a mates drinking and that I can meet him after at his

Say no to the booty call.

QuacketyQuack · 04/08/2023 15:11

OP will continue to see him, I'll bet money on it

Humidititties · 04/08/2023 15:11

How long have you seeing him?

LetMeEnfoldYou · 04/08/2023 15:07

Isleofw · 04/08/2023 15:03

I won’t be going but I’m just a bit sad because I did actually like him but he’s shown me what he’s really like

Well thank god he did, and thank god you see it.

Onwards and upwards!

Wishimaywishimight · 04/08/2023 15:05

Seriously OP, there is nothing to be sad about! Would you really want to hook up with such a disrespectful git? It's actually a good thing that he has shown his true colours so early on. It means you won't waste another moment thinking about him (other than feeling happy you had a lucky escape).

Wishimaywishimight · 04/08/2023 15:03

Why do you think knowing him "for ages" means he might magically have changed personality? He clearly sees you as useful for sex (provided your child can be parked elsewhere) and possibly taking him for a drive, that's about it.

Isleofw · 04/08/2023 15:03

I won’t be going but I’m just a bit sad because I did actually like him but he’s shown me what he’s really like

OP posts: