DH buying something different

31 replies

Lila83 · 04/08/2023 10:17

Hello

wondering if IABU or not…

for some reason whoever DH goes to supermarket and asks any requests he always comes back with something different for some reason and it’s kind of annoying. but soemtimes I don’t understand the reasons - soemtimes he just says “oh I thought you’d prefer this” and if I say “you know I’m not keen on that” he might say “I know I just thought you might fancy a change..” so what’s the point in asking me then?!
or he’ll ask me to choose dinner, and then come back with something totally different- again why ask me?!
so yesterday I asked if he could get the plain Kellogg’s wheat bites for our toddler and said it’s because they are low on sugar and our toddler likes plain (and gets enough sugar from fruit and we don’t deny at parties so it’s not like they are deprived).
DH came back with chocolate pillows?!!
why? I’d get it if our toddler wouldn’t eat enough, but our toddler is a good and healthy eater so I don’t know why DH always brings back the sugar filled and processed versions and they’ll he’ll say “but that’s what kids like”. But doesn’t he see our little one eating?!!
I think he goes by what his older kids like - but sometimes they even keep asking him not to get certain things ie jam - he always gets them seedless jam but they have preferred the ones with seeds for years and he’s seems to keep forgetting this lol thinking kids don’t like seeds. It’s not even like he eats the stuff he’s buying.l so I don’t get it.

anyway like I say I’m not depriving, but why introduce less healthy versions when my toddler is fine to eat the regular versions. This happens quite often and I find it more annoying where my toddler is concerned. :/

OP posts:

tescocreditcard · 04/08/2023 11:37

It's deliberate. The reason he's asking you what you want is to make sure he doesn't get it.

Do you have Deliveroo? I solved this by sending for the item via Deliveroo when he came back without it. It once cost him 6.95 for mint sauce😂

Whadda · 04/08/2023 10:37

He is utterly useless with anything household, but very good at earning money, so I can forgive him.

Translation:

My husband is a grown adult and competent employee who can master more than the basic tasks at work.
At home, he weaponises his incompetence so that basic household tasks such as buying food fall to me. On the rare occasion he does buy groceries, I have to spoon feed him enough information that I may as well have just done it myself in the first place.

GarlicGrace · 04/08/2023 10:36

So when he goes shopping, he knows what the family wants/needs yet deliberately gets other stuff instead?

At a wild guess, he sees you as a kind of parent he's sneakily rebelling against, having an evil little chuckle at his genius near-misses.

Simultaneously, he's doing feigned incompetence, you know that thing where men pretend they can't do home-related tasks so you give up asking them?

I don't know how you'd fix this, other than ordering online & having him pick it up. But I despise him for this, and I don't live with him! How have you not burst a blood vessel (preferably one of his)?!

underneaththeash · 04/08/2023 10:29

I had this issue with DH too, either that or he'd come back with multiples of the items I'd sent him for and then we'd have no where to put it, or they'd go out of date.

I solved it by leaving the children with him and going to the supermarket myself. On the rare occasion he does go, I expressly describe the item needed ie - buy Bonne Mamam Raspberry Conserve with seeds in a 380g and take a photo of it. That works about 50% of the time.

He is utterly useless with anything household, but very good at earning money, so I can forgive him.

TempName247 · 04/08/2023 10:26

He sounds like a knob

rubyslippers · 04/08/2023 10:20

Sounds like food is a bit of a battle ground in many ways

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