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Original poster

What hints do the host give when you have stayed too long

41 replies

user1471554720 · 02/08/2023 23:02

Following from another thread, what hints would the host give to get you to leave? I offer people a second cup of tea, more drinks when the conversation is flowing.

I get a guest to leave by clearing away glasses, saying I am tired.

In a restaurant if the staff ask 'do you want anything else? ' I often order more coffee particularly if the conversation is flowing. I heard recently that it is a code to get you to leave.

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coxesorangepippin · 03/08/2023 02:10

I HATE it when guests don't leave

The last playdate we had was 4 hours - and they have three kids
😱😱😱

coxesorangepippin · 03/08/2023 02:08

A colleague of mine said his dad always pick up the guests' shoes and faces them towards the door

Fairly to the point!

Sittingonasale · 03/08/2023 02:05

Comtesse · 03/08/2023 00:00

I start washing the dishes in a very noisy way.

I have been known to start throwing cake tins around because that makes a racket.

I have appeared in pyjamas as well.

Sometimes I just go to bed and leave ‘em to it…

Yes! Me as well. 😂😂CRASH-BANG-WALLOP bloody get lost now

Sittingonasale · 03/08/2023 02:00

I'm usually a polite and tolerant person who hates offending people but
when I get tired or fed up I don't give a rats arse. It's like I have a shut off that can only cope with so much being nice and polite and socialising actually makes me tired.

I'll go upstairs and get pyjamas on or start doing housework. I have actually gone up to bed and left them sitting on the sofa thinking WTF ? before now and gone to sleep. If I'm really getting pissed off I might slam a door or two upstairs or drop something heavy on the floor to give a loud bang. (passive aggressive much😂).

wellstopdoingitthen · 03/08/2023 01:50

When I was a kid my dad would suddenly jump up & wind the clock on the mantelpiece, it had a little glass door over the face which he opened to wind it with a large removable key.

People automatically checked their watches & made tracks home.

Weirdly the clock door started opening on its own after about 11pm so dad didn't even need to perform the winding ceremony in the end.

behonesthun · 03/08/2023 00:23

When the conversation comes to an end and we start to watch whatever shite has been playing on TV in the background, then soon comes the "right I'm going to get going now"

RicherThanYews · 03/08/2023 00:19

I am a doormat when people come to my house but because I don't understand the general rule of thumb for being civil/polite and not overstaying my welcome, I stick to the 15 minute window as demonstrated by the ladies of Cranford in other peoples homes. If a hot drink is offered I take a half cup and then wash and dry it before leaving. I'm not a freak btw, just autistic.

CityCommuter · 03/08/2023 00:12

My Dad dozes off on the couch for a little while and then when he wakes up he says something like "have ye enough talking done for now" or "are ye still here" 😂 obviously with humour thrown in!

MarkyMarksandSpencer · 03/08/2023 00:08

' Great seeing you but bed / the washing up is calling so I'm going to call it a night. Can I get you anything before you go ? '

I leave out the last bit if I'm desperate for them to leave.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/08/2023 00:05

Moveoverdarlin · 02/08/2023 23:35

Wedding invitations still say carriages at midnight. It’s easy getting rid of people at night time, you can yawn, start clearing glasses and say ‘Gosh is that the time?’ But I’ve got a friend that comes in the afternoon for play dates with her DC. She plonks herself down at my island and stays there for four hours. Her record was 5 cups of tea once.

There’s a certain way of sitting down, isn’t there, that can only be described as “plonking” which suggests the sitter will not be moved, save with some kind of explosives?

I know exactly what you mean

oviraptor21 · 03/08/2023 00:03

Thegrumpycup · 02/08/2023 23:13

Just seen that! It is an unspoken rule amongst parents is it not that you leave when the kids go to bed so the parents can get a rest?!

I'm very direct with guests, especially my family. Subtly does not work on them. It needs to be spelled out as plainly as 'Please fuck off when the kids go to bed. Thanks.'

No no no. Kids going to bed is not the time for parents to rest. Parents want some much needed adult time without the kids around. Please don't leave unless the parents give you some hint that they want you to (and the second cuppa is not the hint that some people think it is).

Alargeoneplease89 · 03/08/2023 00:02

It's normally the guests saying I will be off then😂

Unsubtleturtle · 03/08/2023 00:02

Invited over to friends one weekend afternoon, with their kids playing in garden. At 3/4pm they asked what I was thinking of having for dinner. Thought it was a weird question but said wasn't sure as it was quite early (dinner usually around 7pm, wasnt expecting to stay for dinner fyi). Accepted another drink. They asked again. Finally got the hint. Put drink down and left. Felt really stupid and embarrassed! Been paranoid of overstaying ever since!

Comtesse · 03/08/2023 00:00

I start washing the dishes in a very noisy way.

I have been known to start throwing cake tins around because that makes a racket.

I have appeared in pyjamas as well.

Sometimes I just go to bed and leave ‘em to it…

honeylulu · 02/08/2023 23:55

My father in law (RIP) used to get people's coats out of the hallway cupboard and hand them out. MIL used to be very embarrassed and tell him off but it worked!

WhoopsyDaisySugar · 02/08/2023 23:53

😂 I need to adopt some of these lines.

I’ve only this evening managed to get rid of DP’s family member who arrived 3 days ago and who was only meant to be visiting for a few hours max. After 3 days of WFH with 8yo & 12yo DC at home and our whole sofa permanently out of bounds due to this person being glued to it, hogging the TV remote, TV blaring all day and them not even being prepared to make themselves any food, it all came to a head with DP earlier today and they’re finally gone! DP is pissed off with me for not wanting to cater to them whilst he swanned off to his office to work. I don’t care!

watcherintherye · 02/08/2023 23:52

My very dear, but blunt, friend will just get up and say, “well, thank you so much for coming, it’s been lovely….” when she’s had enough!

Canisaysomething · 02/08/2023 23:49

Slap both hands on knees, stand up and say "right well, thanks so much for coming" and stay stood up until guests slowly rise from their seats and leave.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 02/08/2023 23:47

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 02/08/2023 23:29

Mine too 🙈

He still does it now if I stay over and he's done talking 😂

Show quote history

My dad does this too and always has done!!

SkalengeckOrSiegbarste · 02/08/2023 23:47

When we had our first DD, MIL taught us a saying to help get rid of visitors If we were worn out with all the newborn well wishers. "Can we get you another/last drink before you get off?"
It usually works. But if a guest/s are not taking the hint, we start tidying or ask the older kids to start running a bath for the younger ones.

Maddy70 · 02/08/2023 23:44

"Bugger off now. I've got work in the morning "

A friend of mine used to draw an arrow in shake n vac to the door and go to bed. 🤣

DMLady · 02/08/2023 23:39

Mytattooisbiggerthanyours · 02/08/2023 23:25

I go into the kitchen, bring back a big bowl and tell everyone to put their car keys in as “now’s the time for the fun to begin.” They all make excuses and leave. It’s hilarious but we never get invited back for some reason.

This made me laugh a lot. Thank you!

Moveoverdarlin · 02/08/2023 23:35

Wedding invitations still say carriages at midnight. It’s easy getting rid of people at night time, you can yawn, start clearing glasses and say ‘Gosh is that the time?’ But I’ve got a friend that comes in the afternoon for play dates with her DC. She plonks herself down at my island and stays there for four hours. Her record was 5 cups of tea once.

OrangeySnicket · 02/08/2023 23:30

Thegrumpycup · 02/08/2023 23:13

Just seen that! It is an unspoken rule amongst parents is it not that you leave when the kids go to bed so the parents can get a rest?!

I'm very direct with guests, especially my family. Subtly does not work on them. It needs to be spelled out as plainly as 'Please fuck off when the kids go to bed. Thanks.'

I'd hate people to leave when kids are in need, it would be the first opportunity to have a decent conversation that isn't peppered by 'Mummy Mummy Mummy'!

Clymene · 02/08/2023 23:30

I just say 'I'm so sorry, I'm going to have to go to bed. Help yourselves to anything and please make sure the dog doesn't get out when you go'.

They generally go at that point but I wouldn't care if they stayed.