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Original poster

How often do you get chatted up

95 replies

cinnamondyl · 02/08/2023 22:38

How often do you get chatted up, glanced at, asked out etc. Feel like I'm becoming invisible...

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 02/08/2023 22:58

I'm 47 and single. I work in an environment with lots of young (twenties) men. I think about 50 % of them have asked me out. Unbeknownst to each other. They know I'm single and love being single and they can't seem to handle that. I'm about averagely attractive.

Coffeeisnecessary · 02/08/2023 22:58

Once in my whole life, and that wasn't even my dh as I asked him out! I've always been invisible! I don't know why as I think I look alright!

Original poster
cinnamondyl · 02/08/2023 22:56

I think it definitely is a confidence thing too. My bestie is very confident and also very chatty and good at conversation, asks people questions etc. I'm naturally shy. However, I'm also average looking at best and she's 5'10, slim, big boobs, great hair and a beautiful face! I'm sure that helps. Would love to spend a day in her shoes, just to know what the attention feels like.

OP posts:
Thegrumpycup · 02/08/2023 22:54

Unfortunately I have an accent which people seem to find attractive and I work on the phone. So I get all manner of weird and wonderful sex pests sexpesting me in work.

In real life, the last person who flirted with me outside of STBXH was a bloke in work over a decade ago before I was pregnant.

Blueberr · 02/08/2023 22:53

ps I think it’s actually about confidence. I too have a very slim beautiful friend but also a very curvy friend, both totally happy and confident in their own skin and they get chatted up all the time!

HashBrownandBeans · 02/08/2023 22:50

Not as much as when I was younger. I’m very tall and short men absolutely love me. Started a new job recently and been chatted up twice already by the token shorties.

im very happily married to a tall man 🤣

Hummusanddipdip · 02/08/2023 22:50

Does dh count?? If so at least 3 times a week 🤣

By random men when I'm out and about? Not much since my early 20s. But when I'm out I'm the person that ends up laughing at the bar with random people, I wouldn't count that as being hit on or flirted with because it's just conversation and I've never been propositioned from it...

Blueberr · 02/08/2023 22:50

Pretty much never now that I’ve put on weight after kids. Used to be all the time. It did happen recently which shocked me but now I find it’s older men like 10+ years older that try it on the odd occasion it’s happened rather than men my own age or younger.

jclm · 02/08/2023 22:49

Hardly ever, but it comes as a relief. I'm 42 and wear a wedding ring and never go to bars etc so there's not the opportunity, unless someone wants to chat me up at choir or Sainsbury's 😁😄

It must partly depend on the signals that the woman is giving off, being read/understood as open and available. I always have a frown on my face when male strangers approach so they back off!!

WandaWonder · 02/08/2023 22:49

Thankfully never

Original poster
cinnamondyl · 02/08/2023 22:48

My (very beautiful) best friend is constantly getting glanced at, chatted up and asked on dates. She's just moved house and has been asked out by 2 workmen this week! We are both single mums and this made me feel really sad. She was saying how annoying it is and I felt secretly jealous, nobody even looks twice at me.

OP posts:
BingoBastards · 02/08/2023 22:47

Infrequently. I had someone say he misses me when I'm not there recently and couldn't work out if he was flirting or not.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 02/08/2023 22:46

Never in my life. I've been fat since i was about 7/8, and carry it badly on my face and stomach, was always the biggest in my class at school etc. Binge eating disorder, ptsd, ocd etc have meant ive lived a very agoraphobic life so dont go out much, and then its not without my dad who is my registered carer due to my MH issues. Physically got all the workings and desired of a "normal" person, but have always been told im ugly, disgusting and unable to be wanted/loved. A few months shy of 34 and never even been properly kissed even once, it's depressing.

Moveoverdarlin · 02/08/2023 22:45

When I was young - a lot. Now I’m in my 40s, married and never go ‘out out’ it’s absolutely never. I miss it.

Jeevesnotwooster · 02/08/2023 22:45

More than I realise according to DP. As I am apparently oblivious! I'm early 50s so am frankly amazed if anyone shows interest

imnotthatkindofmum · 02/08/2023 22:43

Never. Not even a look anymore. I am a bit sad about it. Basically it's because I'm now fat.

Andifeelheavymetal · 02/08/2023 22:43

Never, or if I have I've been oblivious to it.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz · 02/08/2023 22:42

Never, and that suits me fine. Blessed relief compared to the days when I thought a night out was a failure if I didn't get a couple of offers!

Steakandquinoa · 02/08/2023 22:42

4 times. I’m 47.
I mean, glanced at? No idea.

FourEyesGood · 02/08/2023 22:40

Never. Fine by me!