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AIBU?

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Original poster

Stop being shitty

60 replies

weneedhelpandlove · 30/07/2023 09:48

Has anyone else noticed how horrible people can be on Mumsnet. It's so frustrating to see. Literally every single post I have seen where a mum is asking for some advice or support, someone out there has to be a complete arsehole to them. What is happening to the world? Why does it feel nice to some people to belittle and be just damn right rude to anyone. This site is for mums to support mums. Majority of us come here in a vulnerable state asking for help. When did being kind and understanding become a rare quality!

Sorry just a rant.

Have a lovely day

OP posts:
threecupsofteaminimum · 30/07/2023 10:16

MakkaPakkasMuvva · 30/07/2023 10:08

Mumsnet has grown a lot in popularity over the last few years. Threads are posted on sites like the Daily Mail, Mirror and Sun with undertones of 'look what the hysterical wimmin are moaning about now'. It invites arseholes onto the site to mock genuine posters.

Gosh, this is such a good point, I hadn't thought of this. Ffs.

electriclight · 30/07/2023 10:15

I agree. Mention kindness on any thread and you get ten sarcastic responses saying that expecting women to be kind is misogyny, that they are allowed to speak their mind and tell it how it is.

Original poster
weneedhelpandlove · 30/07/2023 10:10

threecupsofteaminimum · 30/07/2023 10:02

I think social media has shaped society to the degree where strangers feel at liberty to attack strangers online.

It's appalling and really sad.

I don't know how it's going to evolve but I know I'm keeping my 7yr old DS away from it as long as is humanly possible.

I completely agree. I have 7 year olds too and the fear I have for their future is massive. Bullying has always been rife but now throwing the internet into it, such a scary world.

I hope you and your family are well!

OP posts:
Original poster
weneedhelpandlove · 30/07/2023 10:09

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 30/07/2023 10:02

I do, but they are definitely in the minority. Like all bad things their presence feels massive - we’re often much better at remembering bad things than good.

Look past that and there are so many supportive, warm mumsnetters; also wise and knowledgeable. And people do push back on the nasties.

That's a really great insight. You're right perhaps I'm remembering the negative more then the good. Thank you so much

OP posts:
MakkaPakkasMuvva · 30/07/2023 10:08

Mumsnet has grown a lot in popularity over the last few years. Threads are posted on sites like the Daily Mail, Mirror and Sun with undertones of 'look what the hysterical wimmin are moaning about now'. It invites arseholes onto the site to mock genuine posters.

PumpkinSoup21 · 30/07/2023 10:04

I think, I hope, with a lot of the harshness and knee jerk dismissive reactions you see on here people would actually come to quite a different view if you were able to have a back and forth conversation in real life.

I also think people proclaim standards that they have never applied to themselves in reality and again they would admit that if there were an opportunity to actually discuss things with them.

threecupsofteaminimum · 30/07/2023 10:02

I think social media has shaped society to the degree where strangers feel at liberty to attack strangers online.

It's appalling and really sad.

I don't know how it's going to evolve but I know I'm keeping my 7yr old DS away from it as long as is humanly possible.

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 30/07/2023 10:02

I do, but they are definitely in the minority. Like all bad things their presence feels massive - we’re often much better at remembering bad things than good.

Look past that and there are so many supportive, warm mumsnetters; also wise and knowledgeable. And people do push back on the nasties.

Original poster
weneedhelpandlove · 30/07/2023 10:02

PumpkinSoup21 · 30/07/2023 09:58

Yep. Some reasons I think this happens:

  • venting/reacting harshly to someone because their emotional literacy needs work or they have issues in their own lives.
  • culture of online discourse. It’s a space where it’s acceptable to be rude and even borderline abusive.
  • loneliness and associated anger - an explanation, not an excuse. Sleep deprivation too. We’ve all been there and I’m definitely not my best at phrasing things when I’m not well or the kids have been up all night.
  • bots, fake accounts and trolls
  • bigotry
  • failure to read the OP and instead react to something else in the thread leading to misunderstandings
  • difficulty of conveying tone in writing

I don’t think a genuinely supportive online community with anonymity exists. I wish it could.

You're so right and I fully respect and appreciate the effort you took in this response. Thank you so much!

OP posts:
PumpkinSoup21 · 30/07/2023 09:58

Yep. Some reasons I think this happens:

  • venting/reacting harshly to someone because their emotional literacy needs work or they have issues in their own lives.
  • culture of online discourse. It’s a space where it’s acceptable to be rude and even borderline abusive.
  • loneliness and associated anger - an explanation, not an excuse. Sleep deprivation too. We’ve all been there and I’m definitely not my best at phrasing things when I’m not well or the kids have been up all night.
  • bots, fake accounts and trolls
  • bigotry
  • failure to read the OP and instead react to something else in the thread leading to misunderstandings
  • difficulty of conveying tone in writing

I don’t think a genuinely supportive online community with anonymity exists. I wish it could.