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Original poster

Stop being shitty

60 replies

weneedhelpandlove · 30/07/2023 09:48

Has anyone else noticed how horrible people can be on Mumsnet. It's so frustrating to see. Literally every single post I have seen where a mum is asking for some advice or support, someone out there has to be a complete arsehole to them. What is happening to the world? Why does it feel nice to some people to belittle and be just damn right rude to anyone. This site is for mums to support mums. Majority of us come here in a vulnerable state asking for help. When did being kind and understanding become a rare quality!

Sorry just a rant.

Have a lovely day

OP posts:
FunGamesStuff · 30/07/2023 10:50

An awful lot of the threads are troll threads written to wind people up. Typical subjects are benefits, young mums, unwanted pregnancies etc, and then a lot of the posters replying are trolls too! Basically it's troll central.

Ad to that the fact that a lot of posters are actually nasty then it all ends up as quite a toxic place.

It's a shame as there are so many genuinely helpful, kind and knowledgeable posters.

Original poster
weneedhelpandlove · 30/07/2023 10:49

weneedhelpandlove · 30/07/2023 09:48

Has anyone else noticed how horrible people can be on Mumsnet. It's so frustrating to see. Literally every single post I have seen where a mum is asking for some advice or support, someone out there has to be a complete arsehole to them. What is happening to the world? Why does it feel nice to some people to belittle and be just damn right rude to anyone. This site is for mums to support mums. Majority of us come here in a vulnerable state asking for help. When did being kind and understanding become a rare quality!

Sorry just a rant.

Have a lovely day

Just to rephrase. It's a site for people to support people. Many apologies! Terrible writing on my part

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 30/07/2023 10:49

Being devil's advocate but wasn't the slogan for MN by mums for mums. Not that child free people shouldn't be on here but I'm sure that was the idea

Original poster
weneedhelpandlove · 30/07/2023 10:48

@WhateverMate

Absolutely. I rephrase to people supporting people. Many apologies

OP posts:
Original poster
weneedhelpandlove · 30/07/2023 10:47

ExtraOnions · 30/07/2023 10:20

…there is a thread like this every week, it doesn’t change anything. AIBU is a bit of a bearpit, but not all the forums are like that .. I have found the SN ones to be very helpful

I apologise for writing another one. I genuinely haven't seen another post about it but I didn't mean to cause frustration.

I don't know what SN is? I'm terrible with technology! But if you have time I'd love to know. Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
weneedhelpandlove · 30/07/2023 10:46

Voodoochile · 30/07/2023 10:40

There’s the tail end of a nasty thread in Relationships at the moment. An obviously upset and vulnerable woman wanted advice and she got a lot of supportive advice which clearly bolstered her resolve. She posted that she was following that advice and how she was going about it. There is now a run of very aggressive comments absolutely bollocking and sneering at her for not following the advice in a very specific way that they define to be the correct way. It’s unpleasant in the extreme.

This may be the same post that prompted me to write this one.

I've offended a PP a few messages up by saying this site is for mums to support mums. To clarify to avoid offending anyone else, I will rephrase, this site is to support people. A mum can be defined in many ways and I am not invalidating anyone else who comes to this site. My meaning for this message is to say that kindness and empathy is hugely important. Nomatter what someone writes on here, we have no clue what is going on behind closed doors. So words can be more damaging then people think. So kindness goes a long way.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to this and again apologies if I made anyone feel negatively

OP posts:
WhateverMate · 30/07/2023 10:44

weneedhelpandlove · 30/07/2023 10:34

I apologise but I also don't think that comment from myself was 'unreasonable' I didn't intend for it to seem like I'm invalidating others. I would support anyone who comes on this site, I genuinely just thought it was for mums. A mum can be defined in many ways and I support all

Show quote history

No it's not just for mums.

The tagline is something like 'By parents, for parents'.

But either way, there are tonnes of topics on here that don't involve parenting, so it's a bit more of an 'all round site', if you see what I mean?

mariiiajane · 30/07/2023 10:43

Some people are genuinely just cunts and they are so miserable that they like to inflict it onto others.

Others think they are so superior that they can't possibly get their heads around other people reacting to situations differently to them or having a different income or home life.

Original poster
weneedhelpandlove · 30/07/2023 10:41

Devilsmommy · 30/07/2023 10:24

I think some people just like being able to be as big a twat as possible even if they don't genuinely believe the bile they're writing. Though for me I've had some really lovely people give me advice and haven't been attacked (yet).

Oh yes I can definitely agree that there are some genuinely kind and lovely people on here. Just from experience it's quite upsetting when the not so nice people plaster a post. Perhaps I'm too sensitive.

OP posts:
Voodoochile · 30/07/2023 10:40

There’s the tail end of a nasty thread in Relationships at the moment. An obviously upset and vulnerable woman wanted advice and she got a lot of supportive advice which clearly bolstered her resolve. She posted that she was following that advice and how she was going about it. There is now a run of very aggressive comments absolutely bollocking and sneering at her for not following the advice in a very specific way that they define to be the correct way. It’s unpleasant in the extreme.

Original poster
weneedhelpandlove · 30/07/2023 10:40

NotTerfNorCis · 30/07/2023 10:39

I always remember a pandemic-era thread where someone's daughter's car had been stolen. The amount of people on the thread trolling... including one who said 'the thief might have needed the car more than her'... it was vile.

Oh my gosh that's awful!!

OP posts:
Original poster
weneedhelpandlove · 30/07/2023 10:39

WhateverMate · 30/07/2023 10:19

I disagree the majority come here in a vulnerable state, but you're right, MN can be a very harsh place.

Having said that, there are still plenty of topics that don't seem to attract the rude and angry.

Apologies my phrasing wasn't the best in this post. I was just frustrated at seeing another poor person telling a vulnerable story and people turning against the OP.

OP posts:
NotTerfNorCis · 30/07/2023 10:39

I always remember a pandemic-era thread where someone's daughter's car had been stolen. The amount of people on the thread trolling... including one who said 'the thief might have needed the car more than her'... it was vile.

Original poster
weneedhelpandlove · 30/07/2023 10:34

HundredMilesAnHour · 30/07/2023 10:29

There are some genuinely lovely people on here, but also some really nasty keyboard warriors who twist everything and heaven forbid someone has a different point of view to them. I step away from those threads as I find it quite upsetting.

You are however unreasonable for saying "this is a site for mums to support mums". Maybe it was many moons ago but all sorts of people come here for different reasons now which are equally valid.

I apologise but I also don't think that comment from myself was 'unreasonable' I didn't intend for it to seem like I'm invalidating others. I would support anyone who comes on this site, I genuinely just thought it was for mums. A mum can be defined in many ways and I support all

OP posts:
Daleksatemyshed · 30/07/2023 10:34

It's often the very first post made that's unkind as if they don't want the question asked. Maybe they're in the same position and don't feel able to leave or they have an axe to grind_ MRA's maybe. All the more reason to keep posting, don't let the idiots stop you asking for help I say

HundredMilesAnHour · 30/07/2023 10:29

There are some genuinely lovely people on here, but also some really nasty keyboard warriors who twist everything and heaven forbid someone has a different point of view to them. I step away from those threads as I find it quite upsetting.

You are however unreasonable for saying "this is a site for mums to support mums". Maybe it was many moons ago but all sorts of people come here for different reasons now which are equally valid.

Devilsmommy · 30/07/2023 10:24

I think some people just like being able to be as big a twat as possible even if they don't genuinely believe the bile they're writing. Though for me I've had some really lovely people give me advice and haven't been attacked (yet).

CostelloJones · 30/07/2023 10:23

ExtraOnions · 30/07/2023 10:20

…there is a thread like this every week, it doesn’t change anything. AIBU is a bit of a bearpit, but not all the forums are like that .. I have found the SN ones to be very helpful

Yeah generally AIBU people come to for the drama.

CostelloJones · 30/07/2023 10:22

I have seen some really shitty things on MN but also some really kind supportive and lovely threads too.

It is a bit sad that I’m generally more surprised when someone is lovely on MN rather than shocked when someone is awful.

ExtraOnions · 30/07/2023 10:20

…there is a thread like this every week, it doesn’t change anything. AIBU is a bit of a bearpit, but not all the forums are like that .. I have found the SN ones to be very helpful

WhateverMate · 30/07/2023 10:19

I disagree the majority come here in a vulnerable state, but you're right, MN can be a very harsh place.

Having said that, there are still plenty of topics that don't seem to attract the rude and angry.

PerspiringElizabeth · 30/07/2023 10:18

It feels new, too. I’ve been on mumsnet since I was 19 and I’m 33 now. It’s changed a lot. Came for the recipes, stayed for the parenting support, recently have wished to leave because of the horrible posters. Keep coming back because it IS a really good resource for quick, UK specific advice/answers.

Whataretheodds · 30/07/2023 10:18

And I agree, tone gets missed by writer and reader.

Whataretheodds · 30/07/2023 10:18

I've equally been blown away by the kindness and generosity shown to me and to others on here.

I think both exist. There are definite threads where the first 15 comments or so are quite negative towards OP and then someone will come in and give a different view, then loads of people respond in that vein. And the reverse also happens.

PerspiringElizabeth · 30/07/2023 10:17

Agree. Even the most mundane or neutral posts get a vicious answer within a few posts.

Swipe left for the next trending thread