Is this weird?

I don't think any teacher would think this was normal behaviour. I would put it in writing to the headteacher. He probably doesn't mean any harm but he needs to respect his pupils' boundaries.

All of. This.

This is so weird. Everything about it. All the people who are so desperately making excuses for him, why? Just why?

Bizarre and downright creepy imo!

Oh no I completely agree the guys behaviour is bizarre

Yeah, but did you notice he took his time to look around the house while asking to be directed to the bathroom? Doesn't sound like a sudden urgent need to go, whatever his child's age, does it?

I suppose it depends how old the child is

"Needed the loo desperately" when they'd already passed a couple of places he could have gone in that short walk? I don't believe it.

Maybe you're just overanalysing? He's your kids teacher, you've had a couple of polite chats, his DC needed the loo desperately and he knows you so thought 'I'll ask there'. He didn't know no parents were home and by the time he did he'd already asked.

While there he glanced around because that's what humans do.

Don't overthink it.

Your children should just be told not to let other people (anyone) inside the house while they are alone.

I think this teacher is, over the past three years, considering you a friendly neighbour as well as the teacher connection.
Your husband also entertained a discussion and asked questions.

Regarding the wee stop, it is more normal to do a tree wee for a very young child but was the child too old for a tree wee?
It is a bit odd but his actual behaviour seemed just friendly not nosey to me. The teacher would have a Working with Children clearance and he was with a child and your kids were al lthere and outnumbered them.

Train up your children to respond differently if you are worried.
"I'm sorry, we can't open the door to anyone if our parents are away. They will be back in an hour, you could come back then."

Your children are all above babysitter age so should be okay.
Did they feel unsafe?
Does the teacher behave just a bit embarrassingly friendly or really creepy and threatening?
It is a bit sad when people can not be friendly and like you and your kids without being judged or without formally inviting you over for dinner.

Very peculiar behaviour OP!

Is your child still going to be taught by him when they go back to school?

I'd be reporting back to the school when it reopens, coming to your house and walking around inside and asking more questions is completely unacceptable and as a teacher he should know that!

I used to work with children and that is not something I would ever have done and some of the children's parents were my friends before I started teaching they're children,the school would frown down on this for not only the child's and parents sake but for the teachers sake as well.

It didn't sound innocent to start with but then when you mentioned the fact that he'd walked past a public toilet and 2 coffee shops and didn't stop there for his child it sounds even weirder and the fact he not only asked about you going away on holiday but who you'd be staying with as well is really weird and made me feel ick towards him.

Ahhh, I forgot one other scenario, which was actually the first that popped into my head:

• That he has safeguarding concerns, and is asking intrusive questions to establish more things about family life & see inside the family home (although, he should be doing that in a professional capacity, not the manner in which he presented himself).

I know you say there is no reason for him to have safeguarding concerns, but trust me, there are plenty of busybody jobsworths out there with poor judgement who report perfectly normal, innocent people. So please do not take offense to this scenario!

How peculiar.

Goes straight through weird and into creepy afaic. He passed cafes and public toilets and then stops at your house because his child purportedly needs the toilet? This on top of the questions, looking in your windows, etc, etc? I'd be inclined to have a word with the school.

I suspect you're joking about her DH (I'm terrible at picking up on jokes online), but just in case you really have misunderstood, the poster was referring to OP's son, not her husband.

OP, I don't know if I'd be reporting this to the school just yet but I think it might be worth noting down previous times that the teacher has taken an unusual amount of interest in your family. Including the dates it has happened, if you or your son can remember them. Also note down the road he claims he lives nearby, because if you end up having to go to the school with this information, they can, among other things, check if he does actually live near you or not.

Pressed post by accident!

I'm a former teacher, safeguarding trained and this is screaming 🚩

Various scenarios in my head:

1. He fancied you or your husband upon that first chance meeting. Assuming you're from Tuscany, you're maybe a very beautiful, sexy Italian. So he developed an obsession for you or your husband, hence all the intrusive questions to your child and the constant passing by of your home. Did he find out your home address from school records??
2. He may be a paedo and has a thing for your child/ren. I hate to say this as I absolutely do not agree with people being wrongly branded as this. I'm just stating it's one of the possibilities.
3. He's maybe ND and doesn't understand boundaries, however, as your child says he's the only one who gets questioned by him so probably not.
4. He's a very nosey individual.
5. He's an obsessive stalker.

I would bet money that his child didn't need the toilet, firstly, you mentioned there were other places that his child could have used the toilet. Secondly, he crossed professional boundaries by knocking on your home to use the loo. Thirdly, he made no attempt to rush his child to your toilet, instead he was nosing around your home.

I grew up in a rural place and all pupils knew where all their teachers houses where and vice-versa, but there was no creepy weird, intrusive behaviour.

No matter what scenario it is, it's very concerning behaviour, and I would seriously consider having a face-to-face meeting with the Headteacher about this intrusive and unprofessional, boundary overstepping behaviour. There's just something not quite right about it.

I'm a former teacher, safeguarding trained and this is screaming 🚩

You need to contact the head teacher, and be very clear and factual about this man asking a lot of questions about your family, walking past your house and then intruding into your home (and your son didn’t feel able to say no so it was a misuse of authority). Request at the very least that they make it clear to him he must never do that again and must stop asking questions.

This is the really odd.

My DC wouldn’t have even opened the door at those ages. I’d maybe use this as a reminder not to open the door to people who aren’t friends or family.

I’d be booking an appointment with the headteacher and lead governor of the school, and telling them everything you’ve shared here. And follow it up in writing. He’s crossing numerous professional boundaries.

This sounds extremely weird - it's concerning that he entered your house while only your children were at home as he has put himself in a risky situation for a teacher. Also weird that he didn't just pick up his child and hurry home. If that was me, I would only knock on the door of a real friend, and definitely not on the door of a student.

Going against the grain here but I don’t find it weird at all. I have young dc and it’s not unusual for them to suddenly announce that they need a wee right now, it makes sense to knock at the door of someone nearby that I would know (even vaguely) and whilst there then yes, I may well ask them about holiday plans etc to make brief conversation .

This thread to me is a typical mumsnet overreaction to an absolute non event.

How strange 😬
He sounds interested in the family, but who and why?
Did you notice any attraction/interest from him towards you, op?

At best he's socially awkward and unprofessional at worst this is a deliberate and targeted

There's a power imbalance tho. The child should feel able to say no. The fact that it's a teacher would have mad it more difficult for dc to say no even if they wanted to. A teacher should be aware of the power imbalance and act appropriately