People keep saying I'm slim

I’m 5ft 9 and I weigh 8 stone 5. I get comments all the time. Usually from my husband who says it’s like shagging a xylophone!

@continentallentil perfect response!

And your point is?

*well, lucky you - not poor you!

The OP didn't say anything to compare the two though, it's other posters coming on and telling her she's wrong for feeling like she does because overweight people have it worse, or comments like the most recent comment saying "poor you". It's a shame someone can't come on and say how something makes them feel without competitive comments about how other people have it worse. Why can't both be valid?

Well, lucky you

Unwanted and cruel comments happen to women no matter their size, but its dangerous to say a thin woman being called names is the same as the systematic prejudice and medical bias fat women face.

When Lily Allen posts pictures of her new frame, there are comments saying 'OMG SO THIN! I love it!'

People do not comment 'Omg so fat! Love it!'

Slim is still the aspirational ideal that is sold to us.

About ten years ago I lost a lot of weight. My friend said to me at the time “you look a million dollars!” I’ve put on a lot of weight recently and have started a weight loss plan. I told my friend that I wasn’t planning to lose too much this time as I thought I had lost too much last time and she said “yes, I thought that at the time”!

Just thinking of some of the insults aimed at thin women - haggard, gangly, lollipop, body like a boy, toothpick, stick insect, real women have curves, pancake butt, bag of bones, anorexic etc etc. Kim Kardashian has been slated on social media after her weight loss, a recent example that this does actually happen and it doesn't just exist in peoples heads.

Women can't win, they're too fat, too thin, too muscular, too tall, too short... Instead of accusing the OP of stealth boasting and denying her valid feelings and making it about fat shaming v skinny shaming, maybe women should support each other more and realise that the wider problem is this constant judgement and how comfortable people are commenting on women's bodies when they don't do the same to men.

Look at how people dissect Victoria Beckham and Kate Middleton's bodies. Always going on about them being too skinny and, especially Kate, saying she looks haggard etc. I don't get how people can't admit that people are shitty towards thin/slim people too. The only people who get a free pass are those who have curves in all the right places.

When I lost three stone (in three months due to an incredibly fucked up regime) people said 'you look so slim' to me all the time and absolutely meant it as a compliment. Every day another colleague (I worked in a big school) or even a pupil would tell me I was 'lovely and slim', 'so slim now' etc over and over again. It was never, ever meant rudely or unkindly. I'm not deluded - people believed they were being nice. Slim was always used in a positive way. Read a book and notice how attractive women will be described as slim. It's a positive word, meant positively even if it doesn't land that way.

When I put the weight back on, none of them ever said to me 'you look so fat now!' because that would be indisputably rude and unkind.

Apparently 5 foot 3 and 10 stone is slim lol. I'm not slim.

Yes @Oldnproud but she didn't put the follow up comment in until a later post. Of course the speaker might be getting in a snide insult, but she was asking originally why it's socially acceptable to call someone slim but not fat - I really don't think anyone can deny that most people do understand the word slim to be a good thing and fat to be a bad thing. A bitchy person can twist it, and even if it's meant sincerely as a compliment a lot of people don't want to receive unsolicited comments on their body but the words themselves are loaded differently and it's hugely disingenuous to pretend you really don't understand why someone would say 'you're so slim!' but not 'you're so fat!' in conversation.

Would love it if no one said either.

Understand someone can follow up the first with a really nasty dig.

They still aren't exactly the same.

I'm 5 ft 7 and about 13.5 stone so must be a right fatty then but I like cake and I'm happy and dress nicely but wouldn't it be boring if we were all the same .Not really seeing your point and no I'm not jealous I dropped to 10.5 stone the other year and looked ill we all carry weight differently at that time I resembled a lollipop at the time.

No one has ever used the words thin or slim in a way that made me feel they were being positive.

A positive compliment would be "you look fabulous!" Or "Wow you look really fit and healthy!"

If you think telling someone they are thin is a positive thing you're deluded.

I disagree. On the face of it, yes, the word 'slim' is positive. Unfortunately, their follow-up comments reveal that lot of people use it as a sly way of saying 'thin'. A bit like some people will say 'very shapely', also a positive comment in the right context, when they mean fat.

I'm similar weight and height

As part of aging (I'm 43), my face has become a lot thinner so maybe people have the impression you are slimmer due to your face

I find if I haven't seen someone for ages, they say I look like ive lost weight, when I haven't

It's just my hollowing face. Oh joy

What's your AIBU?
You must know that people have opinions about how other people look and that we might not agree with the words they are using.

Lean, slim, athletic, skinny, nothing of you, toned, runners physique.
That's just what I hear with respect to my body. Then there's the comments about what I do, or don't eat.

I worry about me. If people want to have a discussion on what exercise I do and what I eat then I'm happy to do so. If people want to dump their own insecurities on me ("oh aren't you naughty having a KitKat", "I bet you don't have sugar in your coffee, do you", "it's alright for you, you've [insert some perceived life advantage I've been given]")