stuck between daughter and husband

I agree it would be sad. But I'm hoping that the OP is going to tell us she's decided not to go to the film (and DH will leave her the car if they only have one). Most people about to be grandparents would feel privileged to feel this wanted at such an important time.

It's a pretty normal expectation for grandparents to be on a rota to help with births, whether it's covering while DP is away (first child) or to come to look after older siblings during labour. And yes they need to be sober and within a reasonable distance when "on call". By reasonable distance - I would say no further away than they normally are.

@mrspointi (and her DH) need to think about whether they want their daughter to feel she can rely on them in future. And if they do, then they should compromise on this one. Maybe they could go round and visit their daughter (who will be on her own at home) instead and watch a different film with her? I'm sure she'd appreciate the company and it would be a good compromise in the situation

with my first, my water broke and child was born 50 mins later.

So a pregnant woman should always have someone half an hour away who is available to drop everything and drive her to hospital? Surely that just isn't what most people do? Partners could easily work further away than that.
It's not practical to plan for "I might go into labour and have my baby 30 mins later, so I need to always have someone that close."

I don't even tell my parents when I'm in labour and have driven myself to hospital multiple times

I never drove myself but for subsequent ones after the first, on going into labour (always commenced with waters breaking spectacularly like on tv), I would ring DH who was at work. While he wrapped up and drove home (roughly an hour), I would get stuff together for older ones, bundle them into car and drive them to childminder pre organised for when this happened, then go home, meet up with DH, load my bag into car and set off. All that faff would have taken a good 90mins before even setting off to hospital. If it just had of been labour starting without the waterworks spectacular we would have had far more time rather than ‘the rush’ we had. It seems many people would have had their DH sitting at arms length twiddling their thumbs for weeks, with kids camped permanently at a child minder in the event of a sudden labour with baby appearing 30mins later because that once happened to their neighbours, cousins, friends daughter.

@andthat with my first, my water broke and child was born 50 mins later

But that’s not typical. As I said, my hospital was just over an hour away in the dead of night with zero traffic, so in your situation I would have given birth on the side of the road. Personally, with a few days to go I went to the movies which took me even further away from the hospital (and would have had to detour back for bag). Can something happen, sure, but is it likely, nope.

I knew someone who dropped dead within a week of coming home. Was sudden, they were mid-sentence, holding baby who fell to floor. Embolism. Does this mean that every new mother should have someone looming directly over her with a catchers mitt ready to swoop in and catch the baby in the event this were to happen, because it could happen, because it someone has a story about someone this happened to? Nope, that would be silly, because, while potentially possible it’s outside the law of averages. How about I know a woman who had a baby at 24 weeks. Should every pregnant woman have someone on call minutes away from 24 weeks just in case? Nope, that would be silly, because, while potentially possible it’s outside the law of averages. Similarly, having your parents go to a movie and be 90mins away a few weeks before giving birth to your first is a pretty safe bet.

I've seen your updates and still think she's being over the top. It's just a few hours and I'm sure she will be fine. I don't even tell my parents when I'm in labour and have driven myself to hospital multiple times, but I'm stubborn 😂
Obviously if she had signs things are kicking off earlier in the day then you would be completely unreasonable to go. See how she is on the day and play it by ear.

@mrspointi

Why can't your DH go to the cinema without you if it's a movie you aren't dying to see and you feel the need to support your DD? DH and I often go to the cinema on our own if the movie doesn't interest the other. Just the other day I went to see 'Barbie' on my own as DH would rather have chewed glass than see it. Why would we pay for a ticket/snacks for someone to be bored (or in DH's case, take a nap)?

@HoppingPavlova she’s not 45 mins away. The cinema is 45 mins from OP.. who is 40 mins from DD.
with my first, my water broke and child was born 50 mins later.
OP could be 209 miles away and still say she was ‘on call’… doesn’t mean it’s if any use.
It’s two weeks. Think it’s sad the DD can’t rely on her mum to choose a film over her.

Not different at all. The distance/availability doesn't change whether you're there for business or leisure.

Have to say that’s one of the funniest posts I’ve read on here in a long time. What a gas comedian. 🤣🤣🤣

The second week of August is potentially 2 weeks away, which makes OP’s DD 38/52 pregnant. It’s not out of the realms of possibility that she might go into labour.
It’s largely irrelevant though, the basic premise is that your DD is scared of the feeling of being “left alone”. Whether she is being rational or not right now, it’s up to you to decide whether you act to comfort her, or whether you do your own thing knowing she’ll probably be ok.

In response to @AngryGreasedSantaCatcus

Of course, totally different.

^^This

It's her first pregnancy, she isn't due yet and she is just scared and hormonal.

Go to the cinema. Live your life and remind her that everything will be fine.

Don't tell her when you go out. She will just panic. She IS being unreasonable but its understandable when she is afraid.

I would imagine some of these deaths were not just because of covid itself, but also the totally crap and neglectful NHS care during the pandemic.

Definitely go to the cinema. Being on call doesn’t mean you have to feel like you are in a prison and can’t leave the house.

If it was that important or urgent, her DH should have not gone away. She should consider herself very lucky that she has family nearby to help.

Also, if that’s urgent, she could get a taxi. She can be organised by making a note of different taxi companies to call.

Also the vast majority of those would have been in or shortly after childbirth.

Unfortunately not even the Office for National Statistics has stats on antenatal deaths. They bung them in with deaths within six weeks of childbirth.
Interestingly (and sadly) it turns it that 40% of perinatal deaths are due to mental health issues. (Yes, I went down a Google rabbit hole after reading that mad post).

She's due in a couple of weeks or so, so I wouldn't got to the cinema. Are you even interested in seeing the film that DH wants to? Also, is there a closer cinema showing the film?
Your daughter may be a little dramatic but it's her first baby and she doesn't have her fiancé close by right now, so of course she's feeling anxious and worried!
If your husband wants to see the film, he can go with a mate, on his own, or to a closer cinema. He's not being very understanding is he?!

Would you go to work though, other commitments,run errands?

You cannot sit at home doing nothing waiting for her to go into labour.

What about shopping in a supermarket?
I rarely have signal and so if she tried to call you you wouldn’t get it until you’ve left anyway.

I do understand her anxiety but it’s up to her to have a back up plan like numbers of local taxis, money for the taxi and hospital bag with an extra power bank.

Is there a cinema closer to hers/the hospital?
If so I’d go to that one but if not I’d go as planned and just put your phone on silent.

The two months leading to childbirth are life-threatening to women. So many actually die. Imagine being at work when they drop dead, completely freaking alone. People underestimate how often this happens.

"So many"

In the UK in 2019-2021, 239 women died during pregnancy or up to 6 weeks after. The leading cause was covid. I don't have the split as to how many were 7-9 months pregnant. For context, in 2021 alone there were just under 700,000 births so let's say around 2 million births during the 2019-2021 time period.

Obviously even one mother dying is horrific, but let's not terrify people into thinking women 7+ months pregnant are just "dropping dead" with no warning all the time.

Two weeks before or after the due date is actually 'on time'.
It could very easily be then.

You aren't talking about her being 'early'.

Is there no other cinema? How far is the cinema from her? 40mins?

4 weeks before due date is very unlikely something that urgent will happen- if anything extremely urgent she’d need ambulance anyway.

The two months leading to childbirth are life-threatening to women. So many actually die. Imagine being at work when they drop dead, completely freaking alone. People underestimate how often this happens.

*wtf. So now, being on call involves sitting directly with her for 2 months. That’s ridiculous, along with most of what you have written. Please provide stats on all these women dropping dead prior to birth, based on a first world health system where people are reviewed and monitored even at the most basic level at intervals during pregnancy.

Be there for her, you are her mother. The 2nd week in August is only 2 weeks away, she is not being unreasonable at all to be anxious at having no one there. I would never be going to the cinema if it was my daughter in this position.