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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sisters in law

208 replies

Facing40andfrazzled · 25/07/2023 13:25

My bil started dating a girl about 3 years ago both are in their early 20s and the youngest in both families… Ashley( not her real name) was lovely to begin with but over time I noticed a slight hostility to me and my dh which gradually increased and spread to dh other siblings and their partners … they are getting married in 3 months and here lies the problems ….my lovely daughter was initially told she was flower girl we said we would pay for her dress etc to help out which we did the dress arrived and Ashley asked to see it on my girl …she looked beautiful and was so happy with the fairy style dress that had been selected by Ashley … 2 days later I get a text from As mother how dare I over dress my brat taking attention away from A and that was not the dress agreed on ….next was a call from my mil followed by all 3 other Sil berating me for spoiling As wedding by picking a totally ott dress for my girl ….now my girl has been removed from the wedding party and I have not been invited to any of the 5 hen parties/ bridal showers … the latest attack happened at a family dinner where dh my girl my 2 sons and myself were torn to shreds by his family …we are snobs we are selfish we think we are special with our big house and fancy cars …we have our own business that we worked our butts off to make successful….I stood up and said that was it we were done with her and her poisonous spite and we all left the problem is we agreed to host her wedding party on our property and I just want to say no get a new venue but dh says that would be descending to her level and we should be the bigger people …AIBU if i want us to descend to that level

OP posts:
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Greenpolkadot · 22/11/2023 12:53

I was thinking about the weeding taking place in the field...Are they going to provide porter loos or will all the guests be queuing to use yours?

myotherkidisacassowary · 22/11/2023 12:48

If it’s true that these people called your daughter a brat and your husband still wants to appease them, he’s a major part of your problem.

You would be insane to let actively hostile people host a wedding on your property. Someone will trip over and they’ll sue you, or they will trash it, or something will happen.

Your husband needs to get a grip and you need to drop contact with them.

Fraaahnces · 22/11/2023 12:44

Manure would look good on her. I think you were manipulated into buying an expensive dress that she fully intended to dress another kid in. I would ask for the money back or press charges. She’s a loon.

HAPPILYMARRIEDSINCE2012 · 22/11/2023 12:33

Omg I hope everything went ok too... that's just batshit crazy

dutchyoriginal · 22/11/2023 12:18

Hope everything turned out ok in de end

Rogue1001MNer · 16/08/2023 22:53

The wedding must be REALLY soon???

Meowandthen · 16/08/2023 20:23

I’m still boggling at FIVE hen nights.

billy1966 · 16/08/2023 20:22

Facing40andfrazzled · 16/08/2023 19:12

We have cctv … fairly high stone walls and have arranged with a local farmer to put some of his cows in the field and he’s putting up electric fences all around the perimeter of the field …..

Love a woman who can quickly pull a plan together!😁

WickedSerious · 16/08/2023 19:58

Beachwalker66 · 16/08/2023 19:36

Ooh. I like the idea of electric fences.

Very much.

I'm picturing the 'car alarm' in the original Robocop movie.

EggOverEasy · 16/08/2023 19:54

Good for you! With family like that who needs enemies.

Beachwalker66 · 16/08/2023 19:36

Ooh. I like the idea of electric fences.

Very much.

Original poster
Facing40andfrazzled · 16/08/2023 19:12

We have cctv … fairly high stone walls and have arranged with a local farmer to put some of his cows in the field and he’s putting up electric fences all around the perimeter of the field …..

OP posts:
billy1966 · 16/08/2023 19:10

Facing40andfrazzled · 16/08/2023 18:59

hubs has told them that they are not getting the field after Ash threw the water in my face … and we have very good friends who live beside us and my cousin and his partner are going to stay in the house while we are away just in case …

Good plan OP.

Up your security.

Total silence going forward.

Thos SIL's that decided to get involved are no better.

This has been a gift.

You don't see it right now, but you will as the stories of the drama to come emerges, and it will.

Focus your time, energies and affections on those who wish you and your family well.

There is obviously simmering resentment in the family and it was only looking for an out.

How awful it came via a child.

So ugly and unkind.

But now you know.

Knowledge is power.

Whatever they say going forward, or your husband, they supported her, this awful behaviour, you being assaulted.

You need never have them on your property again.

Complete silence is the way to go.

NeverThatSerious · 16/08/2023 19:03

They’ve both treated you appallingly, I’m glad your husband has (finally) told them to fuck off. I’m sorry for your troubles and hope for no more of their drama in your life.

Original poster
Facing40andfrazzled · 16/08/2023 18:59

hubs has told them that they are not getting the field after Ash threw the water in my face … and we have very good friends who live beside us and my cousin and his partner are going to stay in the house while we are away just in case …

OP posts:
billy1966 · 16/08/2023 17:07

I hope you have taken photos of the dress.

Criminal damage of your property.

I also agree that goodness knows what damage could be done to your property.

I hope you have security outside, if not, it is not expensive to put up a ring bell and a few well place cameras.

GreenHillsBlueSky · 16/08/2023 15:34

I agree with others - if they know you are away and are capable off such horrible behaviour, you could come home to all sorts of hell. I would also get someone to watch your home/land. Security cameras at a minimum that will notify you of movement at the property so you can call the police on them if they choose to do anything destructive.

momonpurpose · 16/08/2023 15:31

OP youndid the right thing! Is there anyone who can watch your property while you are away? Just in case...

Beachwalker66 · 16/08/2023 15:23

Who threw a drink over you?

I really don’t think you should go away? Aren’t you worried what they will do?

CastlesAndCurlews · 16/08/2023 15:19

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YouOKHun · 16/08/2023 15:01

I agree with others, I would also do something about security while you’re away as she clearly has no boundaries. She’s a drama creator and I’d put money on the next target for her behaviour already being lined up. Good for you in standing up to this loon. It won’t be long before you start hearing about other targets and have family members coming to you with their tail between their legs. There is no way that sort of behaviour will be confined to just you.

cstaff · 16/08/2023 14:59

Why are you still allowing them use your field after the latest throwing of water and destroying of a dress that you paid for.

Silvers11 · 16/08/2023 14:51

@Facing40andfrazzled

Sorry it came to this. Well done though. But I too would be worried about going away if they are still using the field next door and they now know you will be away. You could come back to any amount of damage quite honestly, what with the hostility and the damage done to the Dress

Please tell me that your hubs withdrew the offer of the field for their celebration after the glass of water was thrown?

lauraloulou1 · 16/08/2023 14:41

Oops sorry. Missed your update. Fine. Decision made for you. They have caused this! Let them deal with the fall out!

MisschiefMaker · 16/08/2023 14:41

Wow what awful people. You are well rid of them. Do you need to put CCTV up - if you're going to be out of town is there a risk of them using your property anyway