Is it really that hard.....? 🤔

Well, my kid is in hospital and seriously ill at the moment. None of the people asking for special dishes at events are bringing me gestures of care (vegan or not, and I am very happy with vegan). Maybe if you haven't lived this life, with this kind of child, you just can't get how what seems like a tiny thing to you is huge for someone else.

Utterly ridiculous to expecr the world to pander to this. Humans are omnivores and 'veganism' is an attention seeking fad. Just bring your own food.
I provide haribos for occasional treats at school and make it clear they are not vegan/halal.

Why couldn't the vegan eat a bun or the salad?

It really is not hard to offer vegan options for one meal, or one day. potatoes can be baked, roasted, boiled, microwaved. Corn on the cob. Carrots, also many prep methods. Hummus, peanut butter, oreos, bread and jam or preserves, fresh fruit. At BBQ's, my dad and I would make up foil packets of cauliflower, broccoli, and potatoes in foil packets (no contamination) and cook them on the grill in a foil pan or straight on depending on heat. Salt and pepper for most things, some salsa. I can think of tons of things that don't require any meat products. And I am not a vegan. Eating a salad with eggs and chicken and cheese on it right now.

If you were a good friend, I'd go to the effort of doing some research so I knew what to feed you and your kids. If you're not, why cater to your lifestyle choice? You know veganism is rare, so bring your own

Every little helps as they say.
Or maybe every little thing shows we care, is more appropriate in this instance.

I think it is also a valid point though that carrot sticks take more time to prepare than throwing something pre-made in the oven. Today, I only have the energy for the latter.

I also don't take carrot sticks to things anymore. Or vegan sushi. I've tried both of those and they just don't go down well and there are lots left over. It's a waste of effort for me.

I'm not saying I disagree with OP. I fully support healthier eating. I'd be more likely to volunteer to do one or the other kind of food, not one with a side of the other. If vege burgers were served somewhere that's probably the line I'd get in.

I also know the price differential between, say, vegan sausage rolls and non-vegan, if we're just after easy pre-made stuff. For some organisations, that's just too much. Maybe they could do a special plate for those who request it because that reduces the amount they have to buy.

Valid comments are valid comments and not what I was referring to, apologies if that wasn’t clear.
I was explaining to the original poster why OPs demeanour has changed, that’s all.
OPs original post commented a few carrot sticks or similar would be great, she has given similar examples along the way to how she has provided help and volunteered food etc aswell. I think that shows an enormous amount of empathy for people putting in the time. Some of which is her time for others aswell
Swings and roundabouts

What about blood and bone fertiliser though? I had that discussion with a vegan friend who decided not to use it.

I think I (and others) made valid points about the extra cost and time to us as volunteers to provide something vegan. I've actually spent the night in the hospital with a child, so if I'd promised to cater something, I'm happy to throw something simple in the oven. I have neither the energy or time to be cooking something vegan, and don't think I should have to buy something that adds to my personal household expenses. There seems to have been a complete lack of understanding and empathy from OP for the extra that is asked of those who give their own time and money for such things. It might be a small thing but it adds up for those doing the work.

Definitely not being unreasonable. People are vegetarian or vegan for many reasons. There should always be at least a veggie option.

The animal Manure used isn’t made of meat, so it’s vegan……obviously.
Before someone says ‘ but what if there aren’t any animals ‘
If the world went entirely vegan and there were no animals left to eat then we would use our own manure.

Simple

At the beginning OP was extremely calm and polite but there has been a barrage of misinformation, rude remarks and posters claiming she is harming her children’s mental and physical well-being.
None of these insults had anything to do with her original query and they went on and on and on and on,

Im not surprised her demeanour has changed.

Isn’t it time posters who have nothing of value to say, no advice or relevant comments to make stop posting here.

Those of us with a vested interest would be interested to hear how meat eaters feel about the actual question posed.

Did it have to be halal beef and chicken?

As a vegetarian I absolutely agree with your friend! Restaurants presumably think providing something vegan also covers vegetarians, but its extremely annoying as a vegetarian who likes eggs, cheese and creamy sauces! And it's started to infiltrate supermarket ready meals as well. They wouldn't say "we'll only offer fish and that will cover all the meat eaters as well" would they?!
Rant over 😂

Another problem is the use of animal manure on arable crops. All arable crops are sprayed with it, unless you are sourcing certified vegan vegetables (does such a thing exist? Probably but they are not mainstream or being bought by non-vegans). Therefore all the lovely vegan fruits and vegetables you are preparing are not in fact vegan. Ditto for all the friends who try to cater for you.

Now I know this is hammering the point to the bitter end and is probably sounding nit-picky. But if you are going to turn your nose up at a vegan sandwich that is sat on the same plate as a meat sandwich, or a vegan burger that is cooked on a grill next to a meat burger, then you are taking it to the extreme anyway.

We had a Muslim family over for a bbq the other day. I made sure not to buy sausages and to get some soft drinks in. That was it. We had beef burgers, chicken, cheese, salad, standard burger buns. A vegan couldn’t have eaten any of these things, the diet is much more restrictive. So to try to compare yourselves to those on a Muslim, or nut free, or vegetarian, or even coeliac diet, is not like for like.

If our friends had been vegan of course I would have made sure the bbq was vegan. But I would have had to double check what they could eat. I wouldn’t have been asking to be annoying, only out of concern of getting it right.

But community events like school, church, village fairs etc cannot reasonably be expected to cater for vegans. Are they going to get in a separate bbq to grill the two vegan burgers needed on the day? Be reasonable.

It's impossible to eat and not harm some animals. When your protein alternatives and vegetables are harvested, plenty of animals (mostly insects) suffer. Is all your food organic, or do you buy it sprayed with pesticides which harms creatures perceived as lesser? You eat insects. They come with the food we all buy. It's impossible to avoid.

We took our own cheese, bread, and dressing to vegan friend's luncheon. I asked for a naked salad. My husband has to carry an epi pen as he is allergic to preservatives, quorn, some nuts (but not peanuts!). He has to keep soy products to a minimum.
He use to eat virtually everything until he had a reaction to quorn meat served at another friends house. He swelled up and had difficulty breathing. He was seen by an NHS allergist and immunologist.
His diet is now fresh meat , vegetables, dairy. He can now tolerate a little soya in some foods. Seemingly, it is not unusual reaction. In the 90s he had a minor reaction to quorn and had always avoided it. The friend who served it hadn't let on it was quorn meat lasagne. Three mouthfuls was enough for the blue light to hospital 5 years ago.
The Consultant stressed natural foods without preservatives. Nothing artifical.

I went to a lovely posh farmers market once in SW London. It must have been more than fifteen years ago. The brocoli had mud on it and was about £3 a lb. I swear I'd seen the chaos on a stall on North End Road market years before. I still remember the £17.50 scrawny organic chicken too.

Only very rich people can afford organic food and your allotment doesn't provide enough food for you to live on.

The only way farmers can produce arable crops is by the use of pesticides. Animals are killed and habitats are destroyed no matter what food is being produced. Without animal agriculture, artificial fertilizer has to be used. Unless you are completely self sufficient you are just as guilty as the rest of us.

I've never found it particularly difficult catering for vegans but then the quality of my catering is not particularly high. Our local delicatessen does a good range of plant-based ready meals and there's always salad.

I tend to do vegan food at kids' parties... I've found jam sandwiches (without butter and gf bread if coeliac), pom bears and carrot sticks to be a fairly inclusive, if basic, menu. Making sure the right party bag gets to the right child is a bigger challenge.

I do think catering for a vegan is different to catering for someone like a Muslim though, in terms of practicality. To cater for a peanut allergy or Muslim you only have to avoid peanuts or pork. The average meal probably doesn't include those anyway. But to cater for vegans you have to remove all meat, all fish, all dairy, eggs, honey - massive food groups which most people will not be effortlessly able to whip up a tasty meal without.

Morally, I also see a difference between diets based on belief vs diets for medical reasons, ie peanuts will kill me.