Is it really that hard.....? 🤔

To be fair, most friends don't know. My one friend I'm sharing with who is supportive is vegan. She's the good type. When we go out I always check the menu to make sure it will accommodate her too. No problems with her at all. She's lovely.

It's the other type, like my former friend who wouldn't come over to socialise if animal products of any kind were to be sighted, and got themselves kicked out of community camp because of their reaction to other people were cooking meat, that is the issue. Fortunately they're a minority.

I'm fine thanks. Unfortunately once you've got one autoimmune condition you can get more, and we're on that track. I don't think veganism is the answer (though most people could do with much less animal product and more plants). This planet has way too much in the way of chemicals that I think make more difference.

I've never had an issue being vegan, always options on the menu. Recently went to Disney World and was surprised they had a vegan option everywhere. I think the UK has come a long way since the 2000's when all I could have was chips! 😂 But Recently learnt I can't have gluten, now thats hard ☹️

I'm living in a small town these days - without the wide range of food shops I've been used to. But, even in this small town, catering for a vegan could be done just from going in the small (by my standards) Tesco here and picking up one of those large tubs of decent-quality readymade hummus, a vegan "cheeze" or two (though I don't get them normally myself - there are one or two that even more conventional eaters like and so would finish off), a decent-quality readymade salad or two, a "nicer" loaf of bread and a carton of reasonable quality non-dairy bread spread and a carton of plant milk (they'd probably be okay with any except soya - which many people don't like). One would have fruit in anyway. Bingo = job done and no cooking involved and leftovers could be eaten by everyone else if there were any - so as not to waste. That's not a huge deal of extra work to be done - just a question of picking up a few other bits when one is in Tesco anyway. Put like that - where one doesnt have to do a scrap of cooking per se = how easy is that?

I love the way you’re basing your opinion on one vegan

Imagine the poor old PTA catering for nut/ sesame free, dairy free, wheat free, soya free, halal, kosher and vegan. What is left to serve? Something that doesn't appeal to 95% of the intended audience.

Basically, when you are prepared to pay for the extra time and care required for a specialist diet, then you will find a choice available. But individuals, community groups and restaurants will each do what they can within their resources and what is economically or commercially viable.

I shared a flat with a vegan once. Every single time I made an effort to cook for him, he moaned about what I had made. Not the fact that it wasn’t properly vegan (it was!) but that it wasn’t imaginative enough. I’m a decent cook but it obviously didn’t cut it. Now, I wouldn’t even bother. YOU say that ‘even just some veggies are ok’ but I bet many vegans or vegetarians would criticise us carnivores if that was all we provided for them. Hence many of us don’t bother with the effort any longer.

AND my kid never got to be Mary!!

Fair enough but she can’t criticise how the PTA do things unless she’s willing to help.
I don’t think people have any concept of how much work goes into PTA events. There are risk assessments and so much more admin to do before even considering the logistics of the event. I know that catering for vegans is just 1 more thing but on top of everything else it’s one thing too many. Especially when you are trying to accommodate allergies, religious restrictions and other things.
I remember being absolutely run ragged on a very hot sports day trying to run an event to raise funds and I was also trying to find cover for selling ice pops in the playground so I could watch my own child compete in at least 1 event (and juggling work calls and emails). I was almost sent over the edge by a grandparent complaining about the lack of tea

Sadly I do actually know someone who does care about that stuff
Same about the printer ink I didn't even know about that until I came a post one time when someone was questioning what they should do about printing in library since the ink used probably isn't vegan

Schools cater for the masses and at primary school events that's usually burgers and hot dogs.

Im lucky at our school as we have a very high population of Indian children who are from vegetarian families so every bbq also does an amazing falafel wrap with salad and has the best vegetarian curry tent run by parents as well as the usual burger and hot dog offerings.

My daughter usually has to eat vegan when out due to allergies and there are always options. Pato Lounge do a lovely hummus option which always goes down a treat. It's more about finding out in advance where you have a good choice of food rather than just rocking up and expecting to be catered for.

As for parents - imagine you have a really fussy eater as a kid, only chicken nuggets, plain pasta or white bread so that is what you deal with. Then suddenly a vegan friend comes to play and you dont even know exactly what being vegan entails. It can be a mine field and a lot of parents are so scared of getting it wrong they will ask you to bring something. I have the same with my daughter. She spent a long time not being invited anywhere because people didnt want her to accidentally eat something at their house and be ill. So instead of asking about it, they just refused to even have her to play which to this day still has a negative impact on her friendships. She's not so bad it will see her in hospital or anything and i do explain that but still it's a case of too much hassle. Which i find so bizzare as when i have her friends over they are all so god damn fussy i have to make a different dinner for every kid as none of them will even touch the same food (at 11yrs old!) except my kid that hoovers up anything she's not allergic too. Do i think that's an amazing way to spend my day? Not really as i have massive health issues and getting a meal done can be a huge problem some days but i do so my kids can have regular play days. Some (but not all) dont want any hassle or difference at all and that's their choice.

It's just something that people with allergies, intolerances and dietary preferences have to work around. Not every place can cater for every need - you just have to scout about in advance. Ive been a veggie since the early 90s and back then school food was jacket potato and cheese in the winter every day or cheese salad every day in the summer, not even vegetarian cheese because they didnt understand that and salad was a handful of iceberg lettuce, a few waffers of cucumber and a slice of tomato. Eating out the only option was always veggie lasagne (good job i liked lasagne! But it gets boring) . So things have come a long way since then!

Ah, but the OP already countered that she volunteers at two other causes and doesn’t have the time for PTA.

I think many people think it’s more restrictive than it is and panic.

I get “whatever do you eat”?!

Anything that doesn’t contain animal products. Which is the vast majority of food tbh.

It’s ironic that many posters are saying it’s restrictive and that anything bought won’t be used up

Why are you restricting your diet by not using it?

Excellent suggestion and one I used to make to any parent complaining about a PTA event when I was Chair

It's highly restricted. The nature of the diet is that you are RESTRICTED from eating anything animal based. This restricts people from using 75% of everything they already have meaning that have to go out and intentionally buy extra things which is costly and wasteful after the vegan has left as they probably won't be used again.

‘Hissyfit’ ?
Well that’s rude and derogatory.

Believe me, most people make no secret of the fact they secretly think that being vegan is silly and self-dramatising.

@@GreenwichOrTwicks
you make it clear the haribo isn’t vegan or halal. I do hope you make it clear it’s not vegetarian either.

@Canidoitreally
catering for Muslims isn’t just about not serving pork!

It's because most people secretly think that being vegan is silly and self-dramatising. They're down with being a vegetarian, even a vegetarian who avoids eggs etc, but they can't be arsed with people who have a hissy fit if served a vegetable curry and rice with a knob of butter in.

Neither would I, what I am saying though, is it really isn't that hard... if you're unsure, vegetables are easy!

Not that easy to make them taste good!
Also it depends on the vegan, one family member who is very restrictive is happy with steamed veg but my vegan friend loves chips & doesn't really eat lots of veg!

The problem with this whole stealth boast thread is that you are forcing your lifestyle choice onto other people and you have very entitled expectations.

As I said before only 1.2% of people in the UK are vegan so in most social settings you will be the only people who have this diet. So you are asking the school PTA / group gathering to do something just for you which I think is unreasonable.

If just your family came to my house as guests, I would give you a vegan meal, but honestly, I would be shitting myself as I wouldn't want to fuck it up and do something, inadvertently, that you would find offensive. TBH it's too much hard work so I would have to like you a lot.

Most restaurants do have vegan options so I don't know what your issue is there

What a shame. That could so easily have been avoided if the friend had just followed my practice of saying to people "Is there anything you can't or won't eat?" before having you both round for a meal. At that point they could have been told "No quorn for hubbie please". It's only polite imo for a host/ess to ask this question and it covers all angles of no-one being expected to eat something they are allergic to or have decided not to eat (for whatever reason - be it ethical or religious or whatever). Everyone has always appreciated being asked that question - even if their response is that they're happy to eat anything.

I don't think I'm even going to be able to see my way to making dinner for my own family tonight, let alone catering anything or adding special dishes.